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Hi Mikeyb

I’ve just read your post and I will admit I was emotionally moved. The description of your life and your characteristics are identical to my son. He is only 16 but is addicted to cannabis. From your feeling of social unacceptance to the betrayal of loved ones. This was a very powerful piece of writing and you deserve total respect for being so open. I only wish my son had your courage to face up to his mistakes and realise what he is doing to himself. I thought about making I’m read your post but he only cares about himself and feels he is doing nothing wrong so it would not resonate with him. Hopefully one day it will.

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Hi Harvey

First thing I would say would be is to stay positive and don’t blame yourself. I presume your son has made the decision to take these substances? If so then this is not your fault. Secondly, the fact he has seeked help and is attending meetings and seeing his GP has to be commended. The first step is his admission he has a problem and is always the hardest. If I was you I would tread lightly and don’t badger him about going to his meetings but just casually ask how they are going.

Although it seems there is some damage to his health with seizures now, he is still only 27. This could be just a set back, he has years left to enjoy life with his family and try to get back on track. I really hope your son pulls through this and has a brighter future.

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Hi Carol,

I can empathise with your struggle although not to the degree you’ve suffered. 17 years is a long time to keep bouncing back following set backs ,you must be drained emotionally and physically, every time my son lets me down its like a punch in the guts. I’ve only had issues with him for 18 months and I sometimes feel I’ve reached the end of the road, so you deserve enormous credit for your resilience. But that’s what we as parents do, we love and care for our children. I would never turn my back on my son even when he stole my bank card and stole hundreds of pounds. When I’ve felt empty I have turned to other agencies. There is a huge support network out there that offer support. It’s knowing where to look. Once your foot is in the door agencies will know of others that can help and should point you in the correct direction. It sounds like respite for yourself is essential. Can a family member support your son or an agency offer respite cover ? You need to recover and care for yourself. I live in Scotland and work in the support sector, I could help you find support if you want?

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That’s really sad about your friends sister.

I am very supportive, but that’s probably my work experience and training. I have lost the plot on a few occasions but who hasn’t.

I appreciate all the feedback from everyone today. It’s been very positive and has motivated me to keep going and find things that can help my son.

Thanks

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Deep down he’s a good kid but he’s got in with some dodgy mates. I mentioned to him about just having a joint at the weekend as a way of cutting down. Well see.

I’ve also mentioned about joining a gym to get fit. I have a broken leg just now but plan to join when I get the nod from physio so I said I would buy a joint membership and go with him. He seemed very keen. As you mentioned earlier exercise might be the catalyst to wean him away from this.

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This is my biggest fear, if he tries other substances and becomes addicted to harder drugs. He has said that he has never thought about harder stuff and he seems genuine. I had a quick chat with him tonight about cutting down his use and he said he wants to so I suggested a calendar like suggested by Danman and he said he’ll try it. Although he done this when he attended the addiction group and that only lasted a short time, but at least he was willing to speak about it. I also laid it on the line about his mental health and the consequences of extended cannabis use.

I work in mental health services and deal with drug and alcohol addictions most days so it’s my worst fear to see my son like some of the poor souls I work with.

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My son came off the weed for about 4 days but the withdrawal symptoms were to much for him. He was having night sweats,nightmares ,bad headaches and really aggressive. I’ve told him to try and cut down. I’ve explained to him that the THC will stay in his body for roughly 10 days after one joint. He has to give his body a break. But he just buries his head in the sand and quotes from you tube how good weed is for you! All the experts and clinicians are wrong… I can’t see how I can get through to him.

He now works full time as a joiner, so the army would probably be off the horizon now.

I appreciate your input tonight.

Thanks.

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Hi Danman.

Joining the army was an option both myself and son had explored. We visited the local careers office and picked up lots of information. My thinking was to give my son a break from the toxic environment he currently lives in and meet guys his own age with the same goals, mixed in with the discipline the army offers. He was up for it but when he got round to applying lost interest. Now he’s smoking even more than before. He has had mental health issues before and my main concern is that due to the potency of cannabis now he develops a serious mental health issues further down the line.

Thanks.

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Thanks for the reply.

I will definitely use this information and contact your service. Hopefully this might give me an insight into how to cope with my son’s behaviour and addiction.

Thanks.

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