[alexellis41]

Hi, I read your post a few months ago now and have wanted to reply for so long but wasn’t sure what to write and how to describe the way I’m now feeling. My older brother passed away last year at 41 years old due to alcohol abuse. He had an episode of drinking, decided to stop and had a seizure. This was a regular occurrence but this time the ambulance took 2 hours to get to him and by the time they did he was in cardiac arrest. I could have wrote your post, it’s how I felt, your story is so similar to mine. How he destroyed his marriage, lost his highly paid job, caused nothing but upset to our parents, tortured our Mum until she gave in to his demands. The countless times I screamed at him to stop his drinking and couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t stop not even for his beautiful 9 year old daughter. I can’t tell you how much I hated him just like you do your brother. Except now all I feel is guilt and would do anything to have him back even if it meant going through all we did again. I often thought about him not being here and told myself I wouldn’t care, that he would only have himself to blame. How wrong was I. My Dad passed 4 years before my brother. I would often tell him how he ruined the last few years of our Dads life. I hoped by telling him this he would stop. I begged him not to do the same to our Mum. He did worse, he died and she will never be the same again.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you this but I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I use to try and understand why he would drink when he had everything. A wife, a little girl, a lovely home, a great job, money, family that would do anything for him but he didn’t understand himself. The alcohol just takes over and they don’t think.
I hope your brother is doing better then he was and please God he will change and one day be happy again.

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