[amber04]

Yes it feels good to have let a bit out as I have no one to talk to. The only person I talk to about this is him.

When he’s off doing it in my head I tell myself that’s it I’m done he can move out. Then soon as I see him I’m like it’s fine we’ll work through it. I’m too soft.

I do feel like if I were to kick him out I’d have peace but at the moment I just can’t do it. O have told him though this will not be my life. I’m not spending the rest of my life feeling like this, life’s too short.

I’ve also told him the next time he has a bad come down where we end up having one of those discussions that makes out I’m a terrible person and he points out all my flaws and tells me it’s my fault then he’s gone and I mean that for sure 100%

Do you feel better now he’s not around? If he sorts himself out have you thought about what would happen with your relationship then?

[amber04]

I’m not sure what I should be doing in regards to having a break. Are you having a break and will take him back if he sorts himself out or are you done with him now if you don’t mind me asking?

I did tell him a couple of months ago I was done, I couldn’t carry on with how things were. I was so set on it. Then he cried and begged me to change my mind, which I did.

Things improved for a few weeks then went back to how it was before. Now he’s signed up to a CA meeting once a week and got a sponser but still been taking coke. Although respected my boundaries by not being around the kids or brining it home.

I’ve had really high anxiety the last 2 days and today feel just constantly on the verge of tears. It’s like I can’t concentrate on my own well being ie making meals or having the energy to get up and do the house work, take the kids out. It’s like all my energy is just having this shit situation running through my head day in day out. Last 2 nights I’ve been up till 2am just can’t switch off.

[amber04]

Thankyou for replying. I will tell him to do more of the meetings.

Should he be trying to stop completely or wean himself off?

He previously spoke to a drug councillor over the phone who told him to start off doing it 3 times a week (he was already doing it that often maybe a bit more at the time so not really a change) he told her he thought twice a week was better and she said fine 2 or 3 times a week. Now I’ve come on this forum I see most people’s partners are stopping completely or being told to so I don’t really know how much I need to be allowing now?

[amber04]

Hi Jodie, How are things now? I’m new to this forum. Unfortunately been going through shit for years with my partner

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