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Hi, thank you for sharing your story..
I’ve actually come to the realisation now that I have to move on with my life, and same I feel so much better now that I’ve closed that door…
I think I’ve been through the worst and over it.
All the best to you x
Brilliant!! Keep going xx
Well done 🙂 xx
I was the same, I withdrew myself never wanted to go out because I knew that was his opportunity, then same decided enough is enough it’s taken over his life it can’t consume mine too…
You will get there and what you decide to do long term you know you’ve done your absolute best!
I too feel it’s so nice to be able to bare all without any judgement, I’m quite fortunate to have very understand friends and family that are so so supportive and don’t judge, but it’s so helpful being on here like you said knowing you’re not alone is helping so much, it’s so sad there are so many
People going through this…
You will get there 100% you sound determined and driven! Try your best to keep positive and get yourself well – look after yourself and have an amazing holiday 🙂
It sounds like your partner really is trying and like you said what will be will be we can’t control them and can only hope they can pull through it…
I’m going through the exact same it’s like the rare occasion you get some truth they get pissed off you don’t believe them like the countless lies beforehand mean nothing (boy who cried wolf) I tell him now though regardless of whether you’re telling. Me the truth you’ve lied that much you have to bare with me while I learn to trust you again, I tell him that he’s broken down everything. With me it’s a hell of lot more than a sudden truth that’ll fix it…
Maybe you should take a bit of time to yourself to build yourself back up again! I feel I was where you are now a few months ago (he’s had a problem for a few years but it’s accelerated the past 2/3 years) I think I’ve kind of been through so many different ways of handling it all I’ve had to walk away till her gets help… he’s not doing anything at the minute to get help…
He has to appreciate this from your pint of view also, he’s putting you through so much and expecting you to be there he also needs to support you…
I only joined this last week and it’s helped me so much talking to other people that are going through the same and people who are the ones with a problem and understanding it from their perspective – it’s helping me know how to kind of be towards him
And how to try and point him in the right direction…
You really really do need to put yourself first now, make sure you’re ok as a priority – my mental health was declining rapid I was prescribed anti depressants took one and decided no thisnisnt me, my Mum has suffered the past 20+ years with her mental health and lead to drink, from being about 14 I’ve gone through that with her too and I promised myself I would never ever allow myself to be depressed (not as easy as that) but being so young and seeing what I did with my
Mum I am not going there I refuse and I’m not doing it to my kids (I know she couldn’t/can’t help it) so as soon as I saw my mum in my reflection I drew the line and put myself first – since doing that I feel I can support him
More, and stick to boundaries…
Sorry to waffle I just hope telling you what I’ve gone/ going through may help…
Can I ask why doesn’t she want NHS to know?
It does kind of sound like an excuse not to get the help she needs…
only
You can make your decision however you have got to have boundaries, if she’s stealing from you then you need to consider if you can trust her at your place – I’m guessing not – I totally get you’ll feel somewhat responsible for her in the way she has nowhere to go etc (doesn’t she have family?)
If she uses/ steals for her without facing consequences then you are enabling and what reason does she have to get clean? She’s getting the best of both worlds/ with regards to money for food is a massive no no… regardless of the amount…
Get some boundaries in place and stick to them then go from there… if she excuses to get help the. You’ve got to think of yourself…
Good luck to you and your partner I hope she gets the help she needs
I’m totally with you there with the trust and the anger…
I had a conversation with my ex earlier (we have kids) and I asked when the last time was he said a couple of days ago then went in to say because of something I’d said (think I had told him I think we’re pretty much done) so I was furious and said you can’t blame me which I don’t think he was blaming me at all just trying to explain why he felt down and turned to it…
I now try to take a step back when I start thinking why would you do that because I would never treat someone this way because I’m not in his position, I don’t have the cravings and can only imagine the hell he must go through in his own mind…
I’m now at a pin t though we’re i’ve had to completely come away from him and take a massive step back because he isn’t doing any meeting or appointments yet, he’s (in my opinion) not there yet..
I think it’s great your partner is and if he has slipped up at least he’s on the right track, getting the help he needs – he probably will lapse from time to time but as long as the want for help and want to get better is there then he’s on the right road…
You make sure you’re looking after yourself, that’s what I didn’t do and had such bad anxiety and panic attacks I was heading into a bad place myself, nearly gave up my job (which i love) wasn’t the best mum for my kids so I had no other option but to pull away and sort myself out…
Good luck to you both
I feel like I’m reading my own thoughts reading this…
I’ve found over the years I’ve sent myself mad second guessing his every move and not wanting let my guard down so much so I think I’ve gone too far in my own head I need to learn to trust again (altogether) however I was in long relationship when I was younger and was treated so bad I already have trust issues…
What I’ve learnt is that if he does do it and isn’t honest with me there’s really nothing I can do about it but once I realise we’re not moving forward then go from there…
I’ve tried to be a bit calmer with him in the hoping he might open up to me when he’s struggling and ask for help as apposed to hiding it
Only you will know your limits and what to do going forward…
Hopefully things work out for you and your partner 🙂
That’s really good!! You should feel so proud of yourself 🙂
Well done and keep positive!
I just wanted to let you know my feelings when reading this – my (ex at the minute) partner has an addiction and it’s tore right through our lives, we have children and I’m and so worried now the impact this will have in their lives if he doesn’t sort it… I worry constantly he will ever be able to but reading stories such as yours fills me with hope and reassurance that it is possible and he can do this (is he wants to which I’m sure he does) and he will be the dad he’s should’ve always been, the dad my kids deserve and the person he is deep down!
There’s so much more to life always a reason to keep moving forward!
Keep it up, keep positive and keep moving forward x