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Hi I know you posted a while back but Im new here so reading through posts.I understand about the health problems as my husband had oesophageal bleeding and had hep c and cirrhosis and now has started taking heroin again.
Its a hopeless situation.I feel for you.But at this stage I cant watch while he kills himself.Like you my husband and know one and no family .If I kick him out he will go to a homeless shelter and will probably give up all hope and die.But I cant watch him commit suicide and bury him.I will feel partly responsible for his death in that I made him comfortable to keep taking drugs.Its a tragedy for you .Im so sorry for your heartbreak.Death is permanent and final .That is why you are hanging on cos you know there is no hope after death.Your husband is killing himself .If he carries on drinking you know he wont live long.
You must decide what you want todo.You can either be there for him at the end or leave him now before it reaches that point.
The fact that his health problem doesn’t scare him to stop means that he has given up hope to some extent.
If you love him and you have the strength to do it then be by his side ,show him love and care ,come to terms with his weakening condition and be there for him . If you don’t have the strength then part ways now before it gets any worse.I understand how you feel because my husband is also having liver disease and is very ill .Sometimes when it is this bad , only an epiphany of some kind can wake them up.It has happened but its rare.I hope your husband will have a wake up call and save himself .Take it easy on yourself.hugs

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Im so sorry for your loss.Tears came to my eyes because I am now facing my dear husband who is on the road to his grave.I try to get through to him but he is in a world of his own. Now he is still alive I want to hug him and tell him I love him so much but he is not there anymore, just his body.Its like he has already gone .He also had a horrible upbringing ,beaten by his father while his mother encouraging him.He has never got over it.But I hear your words and they’ve touched my heart . Because I know that one day I will feel just like you are right now.Its like reading my future . But you can keep loving him even though he is not with you.You can keep his memories alive in your heart.You can tell your children about him and honour his life .Loving someone is a precious gift and you love deeply. Its just so tragic.I feel for you. xx

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