[arm1]

Hi

How are u doing? How is ur husband doing?

Im not doing so great. I just dropped him off at the sober house. He has been sober for 2 months and a week today. He kept telling me, if he doesn’t come home he was leaving. Now Im trying to call him and he is not picking up. Im going crazy because Im scared he might relapse. They put in the hard work but the drug is stronger then them. I think my boyfriend is relapsing right now or he is meeting up with an other woman. My mind is going crazy.

No-one understands why we stick around. I don’t even know way I pick up the phone when he calls. I love him but after this I think Im done. My family doesn’t even know about this hole thing. He won’t tell his family that he was smoking crack and even if he did they won’t help him. They don’t want anything to do with him. Thats way I feel stuck with him and the need to help him. In the end I can’t help him if he doesn’t help himself.

There is no point in getting mad or anger. It will only make u sick. I think I lost hope after today. When they are addicts and are not ready to get help, no-one stands in there way. He might be a good man, when he is sober, I know mine is. But the addiction will change them and the way they think. I know it’s hard but ur going to have to let it go or let him go.

it’s only heart break.. they won’t change for anyone but themself.

There is nothing more u can do. And getting angry won’t help u. Go get ur nails done or go for a walk and take care of yourself. Start to think if this is the life u want because I been with mine for nine years. It started with alcohol and then cocaine and now smocking crack. It’s a pattern and it won’t change until he wants to change for himself. Its coming down to, if I am willing to expect his addiction or walk away.

Medication might help but my boyfriend abuses his medication so he can get high. It’s always something with them. I am thinking really hard right now because my life will always be like this, always anger, stressed out and wondering when he will start to use or abuse his medication. I hope everything goes good with u.

Its hard

[arm1]

Hi,

Im so sorry u are going though that.

So with what I read . It sounds like he is given u excuses. He can’t quit on his own. He will need to go to detox and go through a sober house or program to help him. About his job I don’t know if he will loss it or they might support him with it. U can ask any place where he gets help from, if it would effect his job or his job might support him.

He will continue to use if he doesn’t get help. Your kids will be fine if he asks for help. If he continues to get high then that will put ur kids and u at ricks. He is only going to get wore from here on. Just think about what’s good for u and ur kids. If u need to leave then do so. He will get help when he is ready and it looks like he is not ready to get help. He only tells u that. So u can get off his back. If u have somewhere to go then do so or ask him to leave. Thats what I will do.

I had to section my Boyfriend after I found out he was smoking crack for 3 days in a hotel room . He tried to get back into my house after his money was gone. I had do it because he was telling me, if I didn’t let him in, he was going to kill himself. So I called the police. Cocaine makes them come down hard.

They get very depressed and moody and aggressive. At lest he did. He had to see I was serious about him getting help and That I was not going to support him if he was getting high. He got help after and now he is in a sober house. He is not the father of my kids so it didn’t affect them.

But u have to be ready to let him go. And start to do what’s good for u and ur kids.

He has to hit rock bottom as they say.

I m Hope everything works out for u. Its hard begin with someone who is an addict. Good luck!

[arm1]

[arm1]

Oh my god Im so sorry.

I am so happy u are no longer in that painful life. You are right! He must have done more than what he says, because he told me the same exact thing ur ex husband said. That he would never touch heroin and how can I think that. On his mother’s grave. I knew he did all kinds of pills and he was taken suboxine stripes because I found them.

I saw the needle marks on him but never in his arm veins. He won’t tell me about the heroine but he told me everything else. its sad how its so easy for them just to take all this drugs and not be scared of what might happen to them.

The hospital won’t tell me what he was on when I sectioned him. He says he never cheated on me. Thank you!

[arm1]

Thank you!!l.

I just spend the day with him because he is allowed weekend visits. It was good until he snapped at me for asking to many questions. nothing related about drugs or what he did. It was me asking how much laundry detergent he used.

I hate feeling like its me that makes him mad. After 5 mins he was fine and He said u question me too much. Im so tried of watching what I say to him. or think if I ask this he will get mad.

I just dropped him back to the sober house. He wants me to go back tomorrow but after him snapping at me. I really don’t want to. He made me feel like I did something wrong. It doesn’t hurt like it used to. its just making me not want to be around him. Is this normal behavior for some that is in recovery??

The owner of the house told me he has passed all his drugs test when they give to him. He doesn’t know when they will test him.

Thank you!. I have read ur story and its heartbreaking. How can they make us feel like we are nothing and then they act like nothing happened. I am glad u have moved on and u are happy now. I think Im getting there.

[arm1]

Thank you u so much! You are strong women. I will keep away from him and start to move on. I think I am ready. I am going to really try. I am so happy I found this website I don’t feel so alone anymore Thank you for your kind advise.

[arm1]

wow thank you so much for your replay.!

U have made me think. U have made me feel at easy and I know for a fact I will not let him back here. His lies and behavior have hurt me too much. He still calls me but I have noticed about 5 days ago he has stopped calling me as much. he calls like only 2-3 times a day when before it was 6 or every hour just to say hi. now its different. Something is happening but I can’t figure it out and to tell u the truth I don’t want to know anymore. I hope I can stick to my boundaries and try to stay away as much as I can. He has no Family support just me and I hate feeling stuck with him. I have felt like this for 9 years since we started our relationship. I got him help and I think its up to him. I am just going to watch, and see what path he choices and keep myself in a safe distends. thank u so much for words it really mean a lot.

[arm1]

He is still in the Sober house and he will stay there. Because for now he is not coming home anytime soon. I just need to know if they will ever come clean about everything they did?

[arm1]

Thank you for replaying back. He tells me that the sober house drug tests him and that he is not doing anything. I don’t know if Im begin to hard on him or if he is really trying. My thing is that I noticed him staying up all nigh and not eating. and when I asked him if he was detoxing he picked a fight with me and left. He was gone for 3 days. He was in a hotel room. After he spent all the money he came back. That day I sectioned him. He wrote me a text saying that if I don’t let him in the house, he was going to kill himself. he also told me that he was smoking crack to kill himself. Thats when I called the police. His been clean for 2 month now but the lying continues. I have asked him if he did heroin too but told me no. He says that he is in it for real and he wants to get better. But the only thing is he is still not telling the hole truth and it sucks because I know he had to be doing more then just crack. I used to see little needle marks around his tattoos on his leg and round his elbow but never in a vein that was visible. how dose someone in recovery real act? when they are willing to get sober? I check his leg now and there is nothing on the tattoo.

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