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Hey Danman83, you really sound like you understand on the side of addict! My boyfriend, I’ve realised is definitely addicted heavily. He’s lying about the amour he does and owes out a lot of money for it. He goes off to his mums for a couple nights here and there and although he suit calls me I know when he’s on y and he does often disappear for a couples of hours at a time and will then contact me obsessively, accusing me of being unfaithful and telling me how much he loves me….he’s a few years younger than me so
I know he’s got some growing up to do. He also suffers with depression and is diagnosed with ADHD but I have both of those too. So we understand each other on that level and have a strong connection but when he’s on the hunt for coke or craving it nothing gets in his way. He also sells it so that he can make free profit to sniff…..I’d love hear more from you and your experiences and advice. I want to understand the mind of the addict so that I feel less angry and personally attacked. I know he doesn’t mean some of the things he has said to me and others but it is very hurtful when someone you love so much turns on you.
It’s very sad and affected him badly when the friends passed away. He uses coke more now to suppress his depression. Also you need to be aware of fake xanex going around which has god knows what inside it. Have you spoken to him about his behaviours when he’s on it?
It’s very difficult but I think we have to let them live out the process by themselves and not just be there waiting as they think they can continue and get away with it and that we will always be there. Try and pull yourself back a little but still obviously be there for him when he realises he’s messed up too much.
Oh I really feel you on this. My boyfriend of 2 years lives with me and my 2 children but likes to be out and about for a few hours at least each day and probably uses cocaine between 1 and 4 days a week varying on his cash flow etc….he stays between mine and his mothers. She’s an enabler and buys it for him which I refuse to do, so he is often torn between wanting to spend time with me or getting another hit. With this pandemic going on I said to him he needs to either be at mine full time or stay at his mothers during this time as it’s too risky him bringing the virus back from any of the crackheads he associates with. He says he’s not getting near anyone else and just passing over cash etc but I struggle to believe him. It’s really hard as I know he’s going to spiral out of control again but he won’t listen and stay put at mine for the greater good of everyone.
Oh god please be careful. Xanex is one of the worst in my opinion, my partners has dabbled with it several times but his addiction is coke. 3 of his friends have actually died from Xanax or a combination of it and other substances in the last 3 years so it is something to take very seriously. The behaviour of people under the effects of it are horrendous, they usually don’t remember what they’ve done the next day either.
Hi, yeah my partner of 2 years does the same thing. Constantly accuse me of having an affair or playing him or lying to him, when I sit in the house with children all day. He is the one who is out and about all the time. Acting suspicious but not usually gone long enough for me to say too much about it, I am starting to see a pattern when when he’s been on coke(or crack as I am suspecting, but he denies that one) he is a lot more paranoid, irrational and on edge. He owes out so much money to so many friends, family members and dealers. He robs things from shops when he doesn’t have enough money for it. I refuse to lend/give him money for it. Have only given in on a few occasions throughout the 2 years but ofcourse I didn’t understand the severity of his addiction until the last 6-12 months…..it’s gone up and down, he may be fine and predominantly clean for a few weeks or months then relapses, he says due to bad depression and grief of lost ones. So I’ve tried to be there for him but will not be spoken to like a piece of shit or lied to. We then fall out and his mother steps in, dominating both of us and ultimately enabling his addiction and pulling him further away from me by telling him to stay at hers. However there are several dealers and crack dens in that town so I worry so much when is there. Terrified of him over dosing somewhere.