[bbb123]

Hi Kklost.

I am so sorry to hear what your going through.

I am afraid it won’t get easier for quite a while, it’s not just an overnight fix. However much I wish it could be.

I have tried to push my boyfriend to end his cocaine addiction for nearly 3 years now. Rehab, doctors, CA meetings, many other meetings, counselling. I took him out of the country for a month. It was amazing. The day we came home he used.

I’ve come to the conclusion I cannot save him, and if I continue down this path I will loose my own life and health.

I really hope he can beat this, but remember, you deserve happiness and a life without cocaine.

Take care x

[bbb123]

Hi Ash,

I’m so sorry to hear you have had to feel even the slightest bit the same as me.

The ‘you are not his carer’ – is something I really needed to hear. I feel I have taken on the role of care taker and looking after him like a child!

Thankfully no children together, I cannot imagine if there had been.

Last year I lost a baby. And it almost killed me.

What did he do? Left me, alone. To deal with that whilst he didn’t come home for two days and just took cocaine.

I think that moment is when I snapped. I can and will never forgive being left alone in that grief.

But I can’t help thinking it was for a reason, because a child with him would be a lifetime connection to a world of cocaine.

I’ve finally realised I can’t save him. And my life is worth more than what I am allowing myself.

I just want to see that glimmer of light at the end of tunnel. To be left alone and respected in my decision.

I am looking for the book as we speak.

Coming on here has made me realise how many people have suffered as a loved one of an addict. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Thank you for your kind reply.

Lots of love x

[bbb123]

Hi Dot,

Your completely right. I feel it’s now the only way forward, for both of us. I don’t feel like he will get help when I am around. I have left many times before, however this time I think he knows it’s the last straw.

I’m still met with the constant phone calls and messages of ‘I will change’. But after 3 years I no longer believe a word.

I am so sorry your going through this.

I am aware and have researched so much how much these drugs can get a hold of you and take over your life. I know it’s not a choice.

But well done you for getting 16 days clean. The pain you have caused your family, use it. See what have you done and strive to never put them through a day more of it.

A huge step is coming on here, seeing the destruction it can cause and talking about it!

Thankyou for response.

I really hope you keep moving in the right direction!

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