[being-a-c-4usin]

Have have read all these posts and whilst on it I have cried, I’m fed up with being on it, but just can’t stop, I have done a lot these past 20odd yrs on and off, I’ve even tried to go bk to being a calm pothead and na nuffin but for me I finish it sit ponder to how much of a c**t I have been to people that care n loved me but yet its not a week or so I want more it’s the next day, yes I have a highly addictive personality it took me 6yrs to stop gambling but I have haven’t reli cos I gambling with my life I don’t get the hole porn thing tbh, and no I am single sex doesn’t bother me, well if it gd get it but I’ve now had to go to drastic measures to help myself and go visit my cousin in another country in the middle of frigging nowhere, and try to sweat it out as it were, but I have no one to talk to about this as mates always say its me that’s the instigator (not true by way) but 100 times saying no with the devil on ya shoulder saying one won’t mind is the spiral out of control, it only takes one small admission of thought to do it and u r screwed back the drawing board as it were and as previously read I can’t go to doctors and have it on record, I find the drink does help u want more n more but as I’ve read on ere would seem like people understand wot it doing but don’t realise in the long term wot damage they have done not just to others but themselves, I. E deviated spetums, throat problems, lungs, mental issues(that isn’t just themselves but there partners n kids dads/mothers brother sisters etcr and this is where I am at, at the moment deviated septums ain’t cheap to correct. But to correct ya life now is more imperative than we all realise, well I do but still I can’t stop, wish there someone that could understand where I come from with it all, but deffo c a lot of people in the boat, we all need to help each other in anyway we can but it’s nice to no there others out there feeling the same,.

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