[belle]

hi
first of all i am so sorry to hear about your brothers death and secondly to say this is all still so very raw, i lost my son 3 yrs ago this may he was 24yrs old and was also left a long time before the ambulance was called infact your story is so very similar to my own we waited a year for his inquest, sudden death is the most difficult to deal with especially as your brother was clean and happy ,
you need to understand that your mum has lost her son i know you have lost your brother and its hearbreaking for you too but mums feel they should protect there children to the death no matter what age they are, i know when my son died the guilt i felt was unbearable the pain was like nothing i had ever felt before and i didnt know where to turn unforunatly your mum has turned to drink and probably feels like this numbs the pain i mean maybe it does for a while but we all know in reality it is still there when the drink wears off, thing is u are in a difficult situation really as u need to greive yourself and do not need blame thrown at you , what your mum needs is some proffessional help , i didnt bother geting any and ended up with post traumatic disorder and although i am better now it has been a long road, i agree with sam above and maybe if u called the police when she stars smashing things up next time hen they will speak to her and suggest to her to speak with her doc or get some bereavment councilling she doesn’t need too do this alone but remember her greif is still very new and she will be feeling all sorts of emotions , anger, resentment and these are all pretty normal, also in the meantime remember to make time for your own grief i hope u all get some help and support and as a family help each other through this x

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