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What did he say? I can 100% relate to the low moods, maybe take time to think before you reply to him? Watch your favourite movie do a face mask tonight, sometimes I find the mediation apps calm me when I feel horrible do a little self love! I get what you mean about the telling him where to go because I say this but all I would love is for my ex to message and say he’s sorry but for now I need to put myself first because the past couple of months have been about him and not me, sorry I didn’t ask how long have you known he has a problem now? Is he getting help now?
Hey! Don’t be silly it helps so much to rant, and I feel when I get anxious and worried this is the perfect place! It’s so tough because your going through a heartbreak that you don’t want, you might not feel strong but you definitely have been to stick your grounds! I had similar situation with my ex he came saw me three weeks after we broke up was crying about how he wanted to make me proud and get better then a couple days later was asking for money (you can guess what for!) then when I refused started ignoring me calling me names, blocked me, I think he’s got with another girl out of spite but you know what between the forum and my friends I keep reminding myself it will be ok and we’ve got this, so heartbreaking to see someone you love go through this. How long where you together and do you have your friends and family to support and talk to? Message any time!
Oh I’m sorry to hear that, I definitely relate one minute I’m so happy with my friends and family then having irrational thoughts and so worried for his safety and health! Your doing well to stay strong! Yeah I think having reflected I need to do what’s best for me and put myself first! We’ve got this! Strong ladies!
Hey, how are you? I just wanted to check in and see how your doing?
I had some crappy news I had given my ex a month to pay some money back and he hasn’t now my solicitors is telling me to file an official legal case. I’m also a guarantor on a loan for him which he hasn’t paid for three months and they’ve just been in touch to say he hasn’t paid. I don’t really know what to do about moving forward and don’t really know if I should let his family or if that will make it all worse/ He’s blocked me so I haven’t heard from him for two weeks. Nightmare!
Yeah your right it’s a process and will get better in time! I suppose we are just used to the anxious Saturday night feeling and that’s not good or normal to feel like that.
Hi, how strange I’ve been feeling a little meh today! I’m at work so trying to keep myself busy and distracted but when I have a moment I think about it all and makes me feel a little sad and anxious especially after the weekend when I know he would have been taking drugs. Just feeling a little heartbroken really, (soppy but true!) But I’m going to meet a friend for dinner tonight (eat out help out scheme!) Friends and good food should keep me happy and distracted!
Hi hope your ok, just wanted to check in a see how your feeling? Did you have a good weekend? I spent it with my family and friends just needed to be surrounded by everyone I love!
Well done for having that strength! Tonight will feel awful but let yourself cry it out speak to your friends, maybe get a friend to stay with you over the weekend keep yourself busy. Today is the worst it can be it can only get better! My friend suggested positive affirmations for building my happiness and confidence in myself I think I’m going to try this!
Oh that’s really frustrating for you. I mean if its your home he should listen and respect that – could you be a little harsh/tough love and pack his bags for him? I don’t know it’s difficult! I feel like that’s really unfair to you though to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home and its not giving you breathing space. I don’t live with my partner so I didn’t need to worry about that but I can only imagine that makes it fair more difficult.
Don’t feel stupid! I understand why because I feel the same, I feel like when friends and people say to me it’s not my fault and ‘you deserve better’ etc I know they are right but I don’t believe it!
Yes it’s the selfishness ‘why are you doing this to me’ they can’t see that they are doing it to themselves. I wonder if the drug are a contributed t why the mother of his child hasn’t let him see them.
Did he leave the house when you asked him? It sounds as if his family have been through this with him hence why they gave up. I read somewhere that someone truly needs to loose everyone/thing to help them realise the bigger picture hopefully this is the case for both of our partners.
Hey, yeah it’s a lot he lied about what it was for so I feel guilty that I didn’t realise sooner but it is what it is! No not married and thankfully no children now I’ve found this forum I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders like I’m not crazy for thinking like this and getting a solicitor has eased a little burden but I felt horrible having to get that step but I keep trying to remind myself it is to help myself, got to put myself first after months of it being about him.
I’m really sorry your going through this again. Cocanie is such a evil, nasty drug and terrifying what it can do to people. When you say he has no one is that him making you think that or really has no one? Because my partner would cry and say this to me and I realised it was the coke talking and him feeling low. It’s tough because I know he could confide and had support in me but I felt like what was I fighting for and trying to help some one who isn’t helping their self?
Your advice is good you gave me, take one step at a time, ad if he doesn’t see it now he will in time – I think you should listen to your own advice your smart! But it’s so much easier said than done, the past months have felt like a massive battle trying to work out what to do and I think don’t know what’s the right thing!
You can get through this and be happy, you sound like a very strong special lady!
Sorry you are going through this, it’s not fair on you to be carrying this burden! I’ve had to walk away from my partner which has led to him calling me nasty names and saying I’m heartless. I’ve worried there’s been someone else, so my heart breaks for you hearing that. I think try to remember you’ve done all you can to help him and today will be a better day! Try to do something you love – maybe meet one of your best friends this evening, watch your favourite film?
Yes I completely understand how you feel, I’ve had to walk away from my partner but I feel so guilty. He’s also borrowed almost £10,000 off me which I didn’t know was for drugs so I’ve just had to get a solicitor so yesterday was a really hard day for me as I felt as if I had given up on him and let him down. It was also something I’ve been trying to avoid so I hope it gets better from here!
I also agree the name calling is painful because it is what makes me doubt myself but I hope this might give him a wake up call to make a change before it’s too late. Yes your right it’s not them talking it’s the drugs because makes it hard to know what’s real and what’s been a lie, today I’ve woken up and hoping for a better day I think it’s one step at a time and I just hope he is having a clean day and thinking about making a change
I hope you are ok! I feel like there are similarities between how you feel and how I feel towards my partner – he tells me he hates me, I’m selfish and heartless. I hate the sleepless nights the worrying and questioning whether I could have helped more. The past couple of weeks I’ve been reading and realised it’s not for us but for them to realise which is hard because it’s letting go and stepping into the unknown but do what’s right for you and your child. Please do talk if you ever need to!