[bhoyo1]

Good to hear that danman and keep it going can only be good for ya

[bhoyo1]

Haha nope definitely have to girls lol. Yeah turn 40 this year and cant keep it up. Its hard to give something up when its enjoyable and probs like ur husband few pints goes hand in hand with coke now a days. I know so many people doing the excact same its quite scary as it considered normal these days.

[bhoyo1]

Can see it must be hard for yourself and husband. Ots a hard one for both of you but i know first hamd when someine is on at you about getting help and constantly it starts to become a feeling of resenting the person trying to help because you can see you need it and the last thing you want is other people telling you you need help as well. He might try and get it one day but obviously now isnt the time for him.

I go to my work every day even if i have had a couple of hours sleep because of coke and tske my girls places and all the things i should be doing but i can be doing a lot more for them so thats why i made the decision to go for it.

Its a shame because ur son will probs be missing his kids as well but just in this rut. Its been since november so will be feeling guilty and thinking its gon a be hard to get back in touch.

[bhoyo1]

Well done for not touching any for a few weeks. Im guessing its still hard and when it gets in your head its hard to get it out. Like you say that little devil speaking in your ear. Its actualy scary the amount of money spent on it instead of doing things or buying more for the kids.

Yeah i can do just 1 or just a couple of lines it snowballs into a quarter a night on my own or half oz with a few pals. Even couple of pints out watching the football on a tuesday night ends up in 3-7 gram for the night. Its hard because its enjoyable at the time just not the days after

[bhoyo1]

Im going to a meeting tomorrow to start speaking about it so smal steps. I can be anything up to 700 per month.its nearly every day and its all weekend. Its in work,its any toilet i can find or wherever i can do it.

[bhoyo1]

Like myself and probably your son u know spending all that money is wrong but u dont think its a problem because your enjoyong yourself most of the time and not slumped in a corner not interacting with anyone.

I still work full time and i have my daughters 50/50. Fully functioning but with an expensive drug habbit and now nearing 40 know its got to stop

[bhoyo1]

Sorry to hear about yourself and husband and sad that it came to tbat.

It kind of is part of the addiction. When your taking it you dont want to stop hence being out all night or weekend.we know were doing wrong and its gonna cause problems but that urge to keep on taking it all night is so hard to break. My daughters mum now ex i put her through all of that and believe me the guilt is horrible and remorse is there. The cocaine just changes the brain imbalance to keep going. I never opened up once to my about the amount i was taking because i felt ashamed and didnt want her to know.

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