[bigdrunner]

This forum has been a real eye opener for me, so useful. To know I’m not being paranoid and that there are others going through this as well is really reassuring to know.

What I really struggle with is the sense that I’m living wth two people. The smiley, friendly, professional lady who I see at breakfast time, and the slurring, unsteady, argumentative lady who passes out on my sofa 4-5 nights a week.

Do alcoholics know that they’re alcoholics? My wife always denied her problems for years, before finally admitting in May she hates who she becomes, but every time we speak or even when we separate, it’s maybe 2-3 months before she’s back where she always was.

She started at about 15:00 yesterday and had 2.5 bottles be for she passed out just about 21:00. Somewhat ironic but I spent 90 mins reading this forum while she snored next to me.

Really don’t know how much longer I can manage this – is there any likelihood it’ll get so bad she’ll decide to do something about it, or does it just get worse and worse until she gets ill?

[bigdrunner]

Hi Amanda – I signed up this morning for exactly the same reason. I’ve had enough and just don’t know what to do. I raised her drinking with my wife for years and got exactly the same defensive response. I really thought I’d broken through in May when she realised and admitted she drank too much but she seems unwilling or unable to do anything about it, and a week after absolutely pouring my heart out to her she was the same staggering, slurring, drunken mess, and every night since then. I had a really helpful realisation recently that helped me come to terms a little it better. I obviously realise I can’t make her change, she has to want it. It made me feel better by putting my thoughts to her in writing, as I can read them back and see time after time how hard I’ve tried. My realisation was that I’m allowed still to love her but also able to conclude that I should not be expected to live with her drinking. I don’t have to pretend I no longer love her but am getting close to the stage where I’ll have little choice but to move out.

I hope this forum helps, I’m certainly hoping it helps me. No one should be expected to live with the consequences of addiction in this way.

[Author]

Posts