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Hey, i’m Sorry to hear of the crap your going through, mY life is the same as yours…. I met him 5 yrs ago, he was the best looking bloke I had seen in years, funny, charming, loving, you name it… I then found out he was a secret coke head, after having 2 kids with him, it killed me, disappearing all night when on benders and when i’d have a go at him… he’d leave when i’d go shop or something leaving a note saying how sorry he was. He’d go back to his dads where his alcoholic nasty mother would be who believes he is perfect in every way. She encourages him to be how he is… disgusting bitch! Well he got clean so we got back together (yes, i’m Weak) he worked away and wouldn’t take it till the Friday night when he had his eldest at his parents.. Saturday I would tell, i’d Get lies, he’d gamble all his money, he literally has nothing. We split up again when I found out he was taking it at work (the only thing he had) he left coz I told him he was no good for himself, his kids or anyone whilst on the shit! He left a note saying I made him feel worthless. Since then he has only contacted me for his football stuff, nothing about the kids. How does he think we feel when he choose that over us? I feel like he didn’t care n still doesn’t. Today I have told him, that he cannot see the kids due to his constant drug intake and that he should get help with all his issues before I contemplate him seeing them again. I know I may be called all sorts for this but, my kids deserve better than what he can currently offer! He has the ability to be the best. It’s so hard to sit n see someone you love destroy themselves, but we really need to let them get to their worst, whether it be regarding kids or leaving them. If they still don’t do it, then your well rid. I am aware it’s easier said than done n it will take courage to carry on! You can do it… I just hope I can, without feeling sorry for him when he rings me crying! Sorry it’s long. I hope your ok and your not the only 1 going through this bullshit xx

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