[blackhound]

Thanks for the reply Hatty20.

I’m living at my dad’s at the moment until Sunday. I left because I couldn’t take the continued arguing everyday. I was on an emotional rollercoaster and it was severely damaging my mental health. But I now need to find somewhere to live, I can’t stay at my mum’s because I have to take care of our dog and her flat is not suitable.

I’m in the angry stage ATM for putting our relationship in such a shitty position. Everything he’s done, including the drinking has jeapordised my want to go with him and that’s the frustrating part. Loving and hating someone who is basically an addict at the same time is a horror.

[blackhound]

Heya M2u,

I can vouch for everything you’re saying… It started off as innocent young drinking together for the both of us…

Then the novelty wore off for me too… I do enjoy an occasional tipple now and then but this past 12 to 18 months it’s been hidden bottles and can everywhere and relentless drinking every night… The lying as well… That gets worse and you might reach a stage of not caring because he’s told so many.. Be careful as that’s a slippery road…

You’re husband and mine… They’re coping using alcohol… My husband has a whole wealth of mental health issues that have surfaced. including drunken induced self harm.. he didn’t know it at the time but alcohol was and still is a coping mechanism…

It takes something life changing to make them stop and say ‘ I need help, I have a problem’

I watched something recently that brought it home for me… Someone who is willing to admit they have a problem’ and that they might slip up is ready for help… Those who say they don’t have a problem’ won’t get help until something whacks them metaphorically whacks them in the face.

[blackhound]

Heya VMac123… This is my first ever post to this forum.

Your topic of choice, Trust, rings so very loudly for me.

In a couple of sentences… Trust takes so much time and so much evidence. I mean evidence in the sense that they’ve shown you changed behaviour. Although I don’t ever think you can truly trust an addict (past and especially present).

It will take years to build something like trust back up again. So I guess the question is can you wait that long to see if he does change …

[Author]

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