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The only person you can save here is yourself. It is pointless trying to change your husband or get into arguments with him. If he is violent and/or abusive you have the right to have him barred from the house. I rather suspect you are reluctant to do this. There is help though. It would be a good idea to go along to a family support group nearby – perhaps an adfam one or there are plenty of al anon meetings at different locations. There you will find lots of people in the same situation who will give you tips on how to restore your own happiness – regardless of whether your husband continues drinking. Until you can find such a meeting – remember it is absolutely not your job to try and control or cure him. Remember too you are not alone. Talking to others in the same situation and learning how they cope will help. Good luck

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It happens because your sister is an alcoholic and she won’t be able to resist returning to alcohol until she seeks outside help. Her worry about what her drinking does to the rest of the family simply isn’t enough on its own – it never is, not for any alcoholic.
You and the rest of the family are also powerless to make her stop. Everything you try – nagging, threats, support, help – will fail. All you will achieve with your efforts is stress and misery for yourselves and no progress for her.
There is hope however and you have done the right thing coming to a forum like this. These issues can have a devastating affect on families – but they are pretty common. The best thing you can do is find a local support group of people in the same position as you. There might be a local adfam group or there are plenty of al anon meetings up and down the country. Besides finding friendship and support from people who will never judge you, al anon will also teach you how to detatch with love from your sister and work on improving your own sanity and serenity. Detaching and stopping helping your sister out of her drink related chaos may very well hasten the day when she realises she must seek help. So don’t work round the clock to support her – she will then be forced to support herself. Remember, and this will seem harsh, that she may die from alcoholism – but that your efforts cannot prevent this. Withdrawing your help may make her realise she needs help.

Your little nephew is another matter entirely. Children must be protected. Social services may need to be involved here and the little boy removed from his mother until she seeks recovery.

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