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Hello I know this is an old thread (not even sure if this is the right word lol)
But I was reading through them as my partner is a crack addict.
I was just wondering how you are doing?
I found your be insight useful.
Thank you for responding.
We tried CA and he was doing well but then lockdown came and meetings went online and it wasn’t the same for him.
He returned though.He tried 3 different sponsors the first had to stop as was having difficulties of his own, the second wasn’t really available due to work and the third lied and that was it he was done. Never been the same since
We don’t live together as I have children and cannot bring the chaos into their lives. His housing situation is a nightmare as he is placed in a block of flats where other addicts and dealers live. They all no when it’s each others “pay day”Poor credit so no private landlords will touch him.
He has tried very hard. He seems so desperate for a friend other than me. He is trying therapy for his childhood trauma but that seems to trigger use.
I think his nearest CA meeting is 5 miles away but I will try and encourage him to return.
Thank you for reading this.
Just reading your post and wanted to thank you for this insight.
I am in the position of needing to put myself first, protect myself from the lies etc but have been torn up inside knowing he is not a bad person but the drugs change him and we have had some good times. The other half of me is not sure if he is capable of change, it is all he has known his whole life and he is 46 now. Maybe it’s too late for change with very little support available unless you can pay for it.
Thank you for sharing it is always interesting to get perspective from the other side.
Thank you so much for this. You have helped me see things clearer.
You should be proud of how far you have come. I wish you well going forward, don’t give up. I always say to my partner the only way to lose a fight is to give up. Cheesy I know but I think it keeps me strong too.
Thank you again ☺️
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and honestly.
He was at his most motivated prior to lockdown. He was attending the CA meetings but his sponsor kept letting him down when they were meant to meet and he lost faith. It’s been a ongoing battle since then.
I just wish he could find a good support who can understand him. I try but I have not lived that life. The area he lives in it’s hard to escape it so everyday must be a battle for him. He lives in a block of flats which just seems to house addicts or dealers. So the fact he has had some abstinence is amazing but if he really wants it should he not be able to achieve it anywhere? Each time he moves area it’s the same story.
I wish there was more support out there for addictions and mental health.
I completely agree with you about being the most resilient of people. Anyone who achieves some form of recovery should be proud.
I’m scared to leave him alone in all of this in case he never comes back. My love and strength is tested on a daily basis. I’ve got on my knees and begged God to help him. I don’t want this amazing person who without drugs is kind and caring to disappear in to that life but I can’t live his life for him ☹️
Thank you again for reading this.
Hello your story offers hope. You must have amazing strength. Thank you for sharing.
My partner had a similar childhood but he was placed in care, where he was physically and sexually abused. He is now in his 40s and only known a life of crime and addiction.
When he met 4 years ago he said he wanted a new life. he has had numerous attempts at abstinence, as I am not a drug or alcohol user.
He tried 12 steps twice but got let down by those who were meant to support him. He has moved from heroin to crack cocaine. He lies constantly and I recently found out he has been drug dealing and that I can’t cope with or support in any way.
He says he is going to try again. He is currently having EMDR therapy but says it is this that has caused the relapse. He has changed showing no emotion other than anger.
We can’t afford rehab and the area we live in has little support and what is offered is of poor quality.
I am at a loss of what to do. I know he is in there somewhere but I’m losing hope after so many attempts of trying. He is always drawn to negative associates and when I try to discourage the relationships he says I’m controlling. I have become a shell of a person because of his addiction and behaviour.
How have you achieved your new life. What was a turning point. He has so much love around him from me and my family but do I need to leave so he can be rock bottom?
Thank you