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On a serious note. Is he actually looking to get help?
I was very fortunate my wife was understanding of my issues, I did however acknowledge that I can’t drink or do drugs safely and had to change or I’d lose everything. Do you think he is near that at all?
I agree.
Whilst I understand that addiction makes you weird and horrible stuff when using, that it’s a step too far IMHO
I didnt mean to come across negative, but if there is an ounce of truth in your suspicion you should part company immediately
Hey Azura.
Thanks for posting.
OK so it’s safe to say your fella is likely a real alcoholic. What you described its typical behaviour that comes with that.
Alcoholics and addicts are resourceful when it comes to concealing what they are up to. You could shake the place down looking for it, but the sad truth is that he will just get more.
As you have already found out, very little will stop someone using or drinking – I mean if cancer doesn’t, then I’m not sure what will. I have met a lot of alcoholics over the years (I’m 12 years sober this year) and usually a rock bottom triggers the desire to stop.
The thing is, and it’s hard saying this, unless it comes from him. There isn’t a great deal you can do.
Do you think he will be receptive to any help from AA or something similar? If he is willing there is a Ton of help out thwr, it has to come from him though
Hey right off the bat putting gear into someone’s drink is not cool, in fact it’s very very messed up.
How likely do you think that is?
What if you reacted badly and ended up in hospital?
Sorry to seem harsh but he has some very serious issues if that is the case and you need to think about that
You can’t disconnect from your family, at least not quickly. Additionally do you want to deep down? Remember though this may be pissing you off – you do have full sight and knowledge of what he is up to, where he is and what he is doing and that can be an advantage. I’m quite sure if you turfed him out you would soon worry about what is going on.
You are absolutely RIGHT to cajole him into getting up and having a conversation, moving etc.
How old is he again? Do you have any males that could reach out to him?
Has he ever had any friends?
What’s happened
Got it.
Do you think she sees this as a problem or would you say she is in denial?
Hey welcome and thanks for the post.
Having an alcoholic addict parent is very stressful.
It’s hard to comment as I don’t k ow you or your mum or the situation very well, what I can say is that none of this is your fault in any way, and you are also not responsible.
Quite often when you ha e an alcoholic or addict parent, the roles are reversed and you find you are parenting them. It’s natural to want to look after family, but you must make sure that you are OK.
Can you say what drugs?
It’s astonishing how far alcoholics and addicts will go, the power of denial can’t be underestimated
The only thing that can induce stopping and staying stopped is hitting rock bottom in my honest opinion, that looks different for everyone
Well Said kel!
I wouldn’t say that. I owe out far more than I give that’s for sure. Any help you need let me know
Hey Cath
The dealer being at the house tells you all you need to know. He may well pass a test on 31st July but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been using, or won’t right after – addicts are resourceful, manipulative and cunning – I know, I am one.
I can also tell you that when I’m caught up in all that I don’t care if I’m alone, who I’m hurting, whether I look like a tramp, whether I have washed – I just care about getting my fix and myself and that’s it. That’s just what happens when the drugs take over
You need support with this. You can’t tackle this alone
Honestly I feel tough love is important. Manipulation is a huge part of addiction, either getting people to feel sorry for me or spinning things to enable me to carry on, you need people who are no nonsense.
Can he get to some online meetings