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Hey Kirsty
I have been through this, if you would like some help post back
What an awful situation
Really at this stage, a detox and rehab is the only option
Have you looked into this where you are located?
Hey
It’s useful to know everything you can, and would help, but recovery depends on whether that individual is ready to recover and go to any lengths to stop
Hey
First up congrats for your son, and to you for supporting him.
Insomnia is well known when you stop taking an Opiate. Some people have a few days, some much longer, the thing to know and focus on is it will definitely come back sooner or later just hang in there.
Some very obvious and simple tips of he hasn’t already. During daylight hours be upright, and walking about. If he can – exercise, longer and harder the better though I suspect he may not feel like that at all. Anything he can do on that front do it – more the better.
You are dead right about meds, it’s just another pitfall. Natural things that can help are Tarte cherry juice, warm milk, almonds. Nothing is guaranteed as we are all different sadly, they did help me though. Also try reading rather than TV or iPads before bed, that did make a difference.
And I know this sounds very hippy dippy, but guided sleep meditation got me through a couple of rough patches too.
I know how hard this is, and it’s a battle, but keep him going, you can get out the other side, I know as I have been there and done it
Hey deb
With addicts it’s all or nothing, I know because I am one and this is how I think. He probably feels ashamed and guilty. Obviously abstinence is key, but focus on all the good stuff he had done here and try to relay that to him. Definitely don’t give up, this is a lifelong battle one day at a time.
Thanks FI
Typically a rehab would be 28 days. You will get a mix of all sorts in there anyways.
I strongly suggest online meetings asap to get an idea of what to expect, most rehabs are based on the 12 step programme. He will meet people with the same issue from all walks of life and more importantly how they stopped using. Meetings are free and on all day every day
Hi Fi
Sorry missed the reply it’s chaotic in here with notifications!
To get a rehab or detox outside of private is impossible I think, especially with the current Corona situation.
Is he receptive to help?
Hey and welcome. Was just replying to someone else and saw this.
Your son reminds me of me way back when, before I sorted myself out.
It reads like he has a bonafide alcohol and drug problem. One leads to the other, the it way to overcome that is abstinence. Most alcoholics and addicts battle to do this alone (I’m not saying it can’t be don’t btw) and struggle to stay stopped without support or that void being filled.
He’s dead right about manipulation, it’s what we do to get what we want, avoid detection and carry on without question, trouble is there are always consequences.
The first thing to do is to set some boundaries and tell him you won’t be enabling the behaviour any more. The more you enable the less likely he is to make a serious attempt at quitting
Second up there are aa and NA meetings on zoom alld at every day which require a phone or tablet or of to attend remotely, that’s it, maybe he can get identification there and peer support.
Rehabs are great, I don’t have anything against them, however they are bloody expensive and not a guarantee to work – are you in the UK or US?
Hey and welcome.
Ok so he is a bonafide addict. One meeting a week don’t do much. There are NA meetings all day every day in zoom, the suggestion is 90 meetings in 90 days to start when you are new, an hour or so a day from the comfort of your own home isn’t much to ask if you really want to sort yourself out.
Well done on doing research and stating boundaries – so many don’t get that far and look for magic answers.
Being honest is great, but not enough, action is needed here if he wants it enough.
This will it get worse unless there is a change, and it has to come from him. This is no way your fault, and you are not there to sort someone else out, though of course you’re want to support him. This is typical addict behaviour to justify the pickle they are in, I know this as I am one (recovering) by minimising my problems and blaming others I get to avoid the problem.
Keep posting and thanks so much for sharing, it really helps everyone when someone shares
No you can’t safely use again. Ever. It’s that simple
Welcome and best of luck. Stick with as takes a while to find right meetings but it saves lives. God bless!
Ha no problem at all. He sounds like he is making good progress.
All I would say is be careful. Fear will only keep you sober so long, the meetings will really help him
Hey
Thanks for the reply, I remember the story now (sorry there are so many posts on here)
Googling is a nightmare. I can rember doing the same thing when I was going through withdrawal and it made me ten x worse – logically people only ever really post horror stories or negative things on the Web which makes it overwhelming.
OK so looking at this logically and a day at a time. Right now he is in a safe place and getting care which is a good thing. Take it a day at a time. Can you start speaking to doctors or professionals about the jaundice to see what happens next? Better to be armed with the facts for when he comes out.
Also now may be the time to start prepping for what hapoens when he is home, would he do AA meetings?
Hi CJ
Thanks for sharing, I couldnt pass on replying as that is an awful lot going on there.
First thing I guess is do you know much about Autism? Reason I ask is I don’t want to tell you things you already know – My son got a diagnosis at 3 which is very unusual, and my wife and I have doubts it’s correct – however that hasn’t stopped me learning all I can about it since (and he has some traits for sure)
Autism in girls is usually quite hard to detect alot of the time for a number of reasons, so it being missed or overlooked isn’t totally unusual. Autism also affects the person’s relationship with the world and people. I have my own theory on autism and why drugs and alcohol are appealing but it isn’t backed up with anything so i will refrain from sharing or posts get removed. Logically though if you suffer anxiety, have issues in your relationship with the world and people then you could see why escape is appealing.
With regards to ketamine, that cannot be doing the baby any good so all you can do is try to reason with her and get her to see how that woukd impact the baby negatively.
Does she have any idea about the autism? Reason I ask is people who don’t are tortured wondering what is going on for them, and it helps massively to understand what is is and how It works, it’s not good or bad it’s simply a different wiring of the brain (which comes with a whole lot more)
As for you, you need support and help too as this is a huge weight, can you get some counselling or local support?
For now, try to keep all this in the day, one day at a time and not project about what will happen. I know its easier said than done!
Keep us posted and good luck
I hear you.
Crack is highly addictive, and therefore very expensive given how much people get through. Its good that you give her food not money as we know where that would likely go.
Being engaged with alcohol or drug services is a start, but honestly nowhere near enough. Often these services are strained and doing their best to be fair. In order to straighten out properly a different approach is needed.
Does she want to stop all this or see what its doing at all? This is the key to recovery starting