Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hey
What a situation to find yourself in, thankfully he is in a rehab which is absolutely the best place for him right now.
I’m no doctor so not sure how long it will take for the physical signs to go away – the rehab should be able to advise on that, make sure you ask them and get all the information. What I do know is that cirrhosis is very serious (without scaremongering) so thank god you managed to get him care. Even if the physical signs go away there is still the damage to the liver and that means he absolutely cannot drink again.
I hope he makes a good recovery and wish you well, please keep us updated
Hey Sister
Thanks for posting. Sorry you are in such a situation.
It reads as though she is an addict and that comes with a whole set of things to understand and look at before you can do anything. Before I speak any more can I ask what drugs and how much she is drinking or using?
Hey Lauren
Firstly alot of people who binge drank didn’t think they were alcoholics until they learned what an alcoholic really is, and it’s not what you think.
Secondly what drugs is he using?
Hey
Fentanyl makes an appearance almost everywhere these days it seems, largely as its relatively cheap and very powerful.
I don’t think there is a way to know whether its mixed in unless it was sent to a lab for analysis
Can I ask what is worrying you
Ho
Thanks for posting.
What an awful situation to be in, I really feel for you.
Where to begin…
Firstly is the GP aware of the situation? If he is threatening self harm then they need to know even if it doesn’t seem like he will do anything.
I’m terms of help, I am all for doctors and shrinks – I do worry though that he isn’t going to get much out of that while using drugs still, even if it’s not as much.
N an ideal world he would go to a rehab and be supervised coming off this and have some intense peer support for a while to try and break the cycle, the reality is that these are really expensive and if he is bleeding you dry then it sounds like a no. What I would recommend is CA or NA meetings, there will be a ton of people in there just like him and he can get help, support and find a way to live clean.
For you talk to people about the problem, post here, get counselling or support throigh this site as addiction doesn’t just harm the addict, it harms everyone they are in touch with.
Please keep posting, happy to help
Me too mate. Mine blamed a traumatic upbringing and in turn a used me and my sibling all our lives. She now forces us to a position n where she takes no responsibility for anything at all, just short of her being turned into the street is how much I do now and even that I regret.
At some point you have to stop and think about whether you are enabling or helping, it’s such a fine line. Also plenty of people have a shitty childhood and don’t inflict that on their children, me being one. It’s not an excuse. And as the old saying goes – victims don’t get sober
Keep sharing and posting here it always helps both sides
Hey thanks for the post and sharing.
I really identified with what you said about your mum, mine is the same. I’m not sure about you but often I wonder who the parent is. A few years back I had to cut her out as she was particularly vile to my wife and children for no reason, I drew the line at any more children being impacted by her behaviours and sadly that has meant zero. Contact.
I’m not saying this is the only way, but for me it has to be as I have tried this before and and up getting sucked back in and it always ends up the same.
Also, as hard as it is, I feel I have a responsibility to end the cycle Of abuse and bullshit that has permeated through generation after generation in my family with no one doing anything about it aside from acting victim and abusing one another, I always said no matter how hard it got that is what I would hang on to and have done so far.
If you are going to keep in contact I guess sits very strict boundaries and making sure she doesn’t impact you mentally – I’m not going to lie, if she’s like mine then she likely will impact you it’s how you deal with it
Oh dear.
That rally isn’t good, and actually pretty deluded. Doing drugs and going for counseling. I can’t judge, I have done the same so I can tell you now that’s someone that isn’t ready.
Hey Melaina
He should try a few different meetings until he finds one which he is comfortable in. The 12 step programme is spiritual, not religious and there is a difference though people get confused. My View is its good to be surrounded by people like you and get support and learn how they got out of it all and how they live.
12 step meetings don’t have the monopoly on recovery, despite what people may say, so the counselling and other work in addition to this are really good
Hey Cath
Sadly this is typical addict behaviour again. Deny, avoid etc etc. Even in the face of a message.
The fact this is the second time he has met his dealer tells you all you need to know about how serious he is on recovering, he simply isn’t ready.
Tbh I don’t know much about testing, the absolute state of me told everyone all they needed to know when I was using, so I’m not sure what to advise on that.
Sounds like it’s make or break
I knew a guy that was in the script and taking snack for years, he was just out of it all the time. It was heartbreaking to see.
Regarding cutting ties, it’s how much you can handle and whether the person wants to get better and into recovery I guess
Hey
No worries
This is an emotive and difficult subject that comes up alot on here.
It woukd be easy to say cut ties, but the reality is he is your son and you care and real life doesn’t work like that.
It is good that he is in a substitute programme but be careful, many use that on top of their Intake – definitely something to look out for. The best, but hardest thing is total abstinence -, again far easier said than done.
What may help is support for you learning to live with this stuff which is extremely difficult
Hey jet
No one intentionally ignoring you it’s hard to follow posts on here
Honestly it’s no bother.
It sounds like his body had given up on him completely, alcohol can work like that.
It is well known that you don’t tell someone to stop drinking as the withdrawal can be fatal – I read somewhere that it’s akin to bemzo withdrawal but don’t quote me on that as I am no doctor.
Detox is going to be horrible, but the only way in his condition. They typically prescribe meds. I’m not sure what happens if they do a home one though.
Do you have support at all?
Hey Reg
Well done for posting that.
It is true that to top drinking suddenly is dangerous, sometimes even fatal which might sound weird as drinking is the very thing making your partner so unwell.
The detox is likely to be at home (I think) the nurse will be able to confirm though. It’s good he is being fast tracked as anything NHS wise usually takes a really long time. See what the nurse says.
I hear what you are saying about sleep and anger, my personal view is not to take pills for this as anything prescribed is likely to be highly addictive and cause problems further down the line. This of course is only my opinion and I am not a doctor.
Once he is detoxed properly its csn be a tough time as there is nowhere to hide and no drink to nb any of what he is feeling, for me it’s critical that he takes action ASAP to avoid a relapse.
AA have a ton of online meetings. They are super helpful and he will meet people in the same boat as him, that may help with anger as he will get understanding and also a programme of action which can help him straighten out. It’s also important that he works on the trauma through counselling so that he can reconcile and move forwards.
The super encouraging thing reading your post is that he looks like he’s ready to stop and get on with recovering which is a huge advantage as many don’t even get there.
I have been sober 12 years, if I can help answer any questions happy to do so