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I see what you mean.
Do you think it’s beneficial to keep her in contact so you have viability of what she is up to to some extent?
Most people need to hit rock bott. Before they contemplate straightening out
Hi
OK the short but truthful answer is that in my experience, there is very little you can do to help someone that is in denial. That has to come from them, and not you or anyone else. Until they reach that point its check mate. This is really hard to accept and painful I know.
Do you think there is any chance at all that you can reason with her?
Hey welcome and thanks for he post. A quick flick through igh here and you will see lots of people in the same boat as you, so first off you are not alone with this.
It seems like you already know that your partner is an addict. What you describe is standard typical addict behaviour, denial, blame, wanting help but not really doing anything about it. One thing I will say is that at least he is getting upset and making some sounds about getting help – many don’t even get that far so it reads like there is part of him that seems to know there is an issue deep down.
From Your perspective there isn’t a great deal you can do other than decide what approach you want to take with this.
It’s the only way unfortunately
I get it.
Is there any way at all you can get through his head and have him seek some help?
I hear you.
Addiction corrodes everything good in life sadly, that’s why it’s so heartbreaking whether you are a son, daughter, husband, wife, aunt, uncle – it really doesnt care.
It’s such a shame as finding employers who are understanding is like gold dust, even they have a limit.
You have to remember most normal people do just that, get up, work, pay their bills etc.
I’ll never forget years ago I was staggering home after bingeing on drugs a night and there was a guy just washing his car at 8 in the morning. I’d have given anything to swap places with him and do something normal. That’s something I never forget when I’m doing basic things like that today, as silly as it seems
This is so hard Kate, I really feel for you. With this stuff there is no manual or guidebook, it’s not like fixing a leaking tap or fridge sadly.
I always rember a line I read in the AA text which said something along the lines of ‘No man wants to admit he is bodily or mentally different from his fellows’ – I certaiy didn’t as I was petrified of admitting it. That thinking kept me sick for years.
Part of the daunting thing about admitting you have a problem is the sheer amount of fixing you have to do with all the carnage you have caused. Many people don’t want to face it and carry on into oblivion. Also recovery takes a long time – that prospect to someone who wants an instant fix to feel better is also daunting.
I know you are worried about his job, it’s likely that if the drug use carries on that will be affected any way. If he carries on using it will be far worse than losing a job.
I assure you that anyone who is willing can and will recover, if I did, anyone can
Most addictions start out feeling good, but as time goes on deep down you know it’s a problem a lnd there is probably alot of guilt shame and remorse which is why you don’t want people seeing you. I know I didn’t. If people don’t see you I can do what I like and don’t have to face up to anything.
Everyone has the ability to recover, it’s how badly do you want it which is they key. I have seen people who looked completely hopeless go on to fully recover and get really well. It is possible
OK thanks.
As you described in your initial post addiction is a progressive illness that gets worse not better, if left untackled.
The drugs you mention he is taking are highly addictive. I know when I was using then I was pretty much out of it and didn’t really know what I was doing half the time even though I thought I did – this stupor I got myself into is likely the reason for most of the things you mentioned in your post.
I see counselling and treatment is mentioned – what is happening with that?
No worries
Firstly are you in the UK or US? I’ll explain in moment
Hey worried. I am a recovering addict, I used codeine, Morphine, Oxy. Been off that for a while now thankfully and recovering ever since. I can try to give you some perspective or answer questions if that helps
It is a complex condition to be fair, but, once you are actually honest with yourself and recognise what you are and your behaviours you can go on to recover and live a good life.
I’ll never work out whether it is nature or nurture that causes it. I. My case I think it’s both in abundance.
Tbh Kate if it’s addictive I’ll ha e a problem with it!
I’m a a recovering alcoholic. 12 years sober. Also a recovering prescription drug addicts, about 3 and a half months clean. It runs in my family both sides
Tell me about it Kate. The using never stops and there are even crafter ways to find the money, it really does strip you of everything.
Getting education on how the addict thinks and works my really help you – doesn’t mean you have to like it, accept it or change for him but you will have a clearer idea on what is going on here. Always here to share as much as I can stay strong