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Thanks Ber
So we can safely say it Is not likely Xanax he is taking (Alprazolam) but some other sedative. There is a huge market for counterfeit drugs if this sort right now. I know as I was abusing them for years and it frightens me to think what I was actually taking.
The drinking sounds like bingeing, this shouldn’t detract from it being viewed as a serious problem.
To begin with a GP should be consulted. He has no idea what he is taking and what affects that is having short and long term. Withdrawal is hard to comment on as we don’t know what he is withdrawing from.
Is he open to help at all?
Is it really going on food or on drugs…
Either way I think the tough love approach has to at least be tried
CA and NA meetings are online. If you want to do them they afe literally all day every day 24 hours a day.
You have to ask yourself what would he do if you had not bank rolled his using and bailed him out?
Sorry to read that, its awful.
Sadly whilst in active addiction, it’s like having your mind and brain taken over completely. You don’t think about consequences or anyone else’s feelings, just where you will be getting the next fix or how to lie and manipulate people around you – it’s a truly disgusting illness on so many levels.
With family its so much harder as you want them back, and you want them to be well – lots of people I know pursue this into oblivion as they never truly understand what is happening.
Has he ever made any sounds about getting help at all?
Hey kate
I largely come from the other side of the fence as I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. I am in a similar boat to you in terms of having a family member in that situation who simply will not gave up to their issues and bled everyone dry. The result was it made me incredibly ill and they carried on regardless.
What I learned is that just as the addict powerless over their using or drinking, I’m powerless over their behaviour too. I had to gradually step away and start to accept that unless they want to change there is absolutely nothing I can do. That doesn’t mean I don’t care – it just means that I cant rescue them – it’s fantasy.
From the addicts ppint if view, when I’m using I don’t care about anyone or anything – it all goes out the window
Hi Kate
Sorry to hear your situation.
I had a read through the post.
Nothing is really changing here, or at least for any significant period amount of time anyways. Bailing him out is enabling him to do what he likes with little or no consequence. If he were making a Concerted effort to sort himself out then fair enough, but it doesn’t seem that is even happening.
Someone asked me a long time ago ‘who are you to stand in the way of someone’s rock bottom’
It took me a long time to understand what they meant, but I guess they meant that rock bottom saves some people’s lives as its only then that they realise what is going on and the situation they are in.
Also even more importantly what support and help have you got? You can’t do this on your own
Hey Ber
Can I ask are you from the UK? Reason being that if you are, xanax here is likely to be fake and therefore some other benzo, whereas in the US I know its prescribed.
I know from my own experience that what he is taking is a lethal combination, a quick Google search will reveal that. Additionally sportpoeder seems to be phenibut, which works a bit like alcohol I think, I haven’t a great deal of experience with this aside from taking it once a few years ago.
Anyhow, what would help is how much is he drinking and taking xanax?
The combination is dangerous, and it can also be dangerous to suddenly stop without supervision so need to be super careful with the approach here
Hi
What is he taking?
Hey Yesok – no problem at all, I hope you and everyone here gets something in the way of support. I really mean that too
Right now I think it may be time to embark on damage limitation and also getting support through this
You haven’t failed anyone. Don’t ever forget that
Hey
Thanks for posting, and all I can say here is poor you. None of this is your fault.
You need to get some help and support ASAP. What is happening isn’t ok, and is just going to get worse unfortunately. Can you stay anywhere or get away at all?
What you say is correct… In a sane non addict mind.
What may help is reading and looking at videos of addicts and how they think. You will be shocked to find that sanity and sensibility doesn’t come into it.
This will Co tinue until he concerns to his innermost self that he has a problem. Stopoi g taking drugs, doesn’t mean you are clean iteans you are abstinent there is a big difference cath.
BTW… What are the chances of meeting your dealer at the shops…. Lol
Hey cath, it’s doesn’t sound like he really got clean sadly. You are right you can’t watch him forever, he needs to speak to someone in the same boat as him who he identifies with