[bunnyblue]

I could be wrong. But it’s possible the answer may come from viewing things from a different angle.

Ask yourself why your wife is still angry.

My husbands sister was a drug user and alcoholic. She now only drinks as far as I know. As the wife I have in the past been resentful that he seems to forget all the things his sister has done, including putting the health of our children at risk. I just want him to still remember as I do , because I feel he is handing her the “ get out of jail free card !” She was a terrible mother and the lasting effects of that will live on long after she’s gone. I feel I try so hard to be the best mom the best wife and all I crave is love and respect in return. Maybe your wife sees you giving love and sympathy to someone who she feels has caused pain, undermines people who are able to give unselfishly. I make the point ABLE, as addicts are not able their focus sadly drags them somewhere else.

What helps me is when he acknowleges what she has put her family through.That her weaknesses aren’t a excuse they are just a fact. That he is thankful neither he or myself will ever walk that path.Then I feel as if he’s is not forgetting , only forgiving.

Maybe just maybe, she wants you to forgive but not forget. Explain to her that forgiving your sister is for you, so your soul can heal. Forgiving doesn’t wipe the slate clean of old events it clears a path for the future. Your future. It’s the only thing your sister can now give you …peace.

That is what the sister beneath the addition would want for you. Your as human as she was. You can be angry, sad, resentful all without guilt. Dwell on the good memories even if they are sparse. When your sad remember life is a journey, a path with many corners that will hold both sadness and happiness. Just keep on putting one foot in front of each other and your happy corners will come !

Please remember if I am completely off base with the above it is sent with the best intentions and good wishes. Take care, stay strong.

[Author]

Posts