[buttonboy]

Hey everyone,I just want to say I think about you all often. No mum should go through what we do. So happy for those in recovery and praying that those not ready to stop, finds way to stop soon. Feel for you all. My boy remains clean but it’s only 18months and we know the cycle of change takes 5yrs. I pray every day and thank god forgiving him back to us. We just hope it’s forever ????????

[buttonboy]

Hey everyone,I just want to say I think about you all often. No mum should go through what we do. So happy for those in recovery and praying that those not ready to stop, finds way to stop soon. Feel for you all. My boy remains clean but it’s only 18months and5he cycle of change takes 5yrs.I pray every day and thank god forgiving him back to us. We just hope it’s forever ????????

[buttonboy]

Hey everyone, it’s now over two years since I started this thread at my lowest point with a son addicted to Cocaine and us a completely destroyed family. I felt such a failure as a parent and so dreadfully ashamed. Last year I let everyone know he seemed to be in the early stages of recovery and I want to tell you that he is now 16 months CLEAN. Life isn’t perfect, but he is well and I thank God for every extra day we have been given with him. If I can offer any advice it would be (1) Don’t keep paying the debt as it enables the addiction and (2) Accept that you won’t ever get your old life back but you will be able to function, sleep well and worry less. Finally (3) They won’t stop until they are truly ready not matter how much you beg. Wishing that you all one day find your peace too. Moving on from addiction is part of a five year cycle. Counting every month until he is truly free. Hugs to you all XX

[buttonboy]

Hi Everyone, I first came to this Forum completely destroyed as a family when our beautiful baby boy started using cocaine in 2017 aged 18. We paid thousands out to his debt and got nowhere, paid for counselling and even paid him for a clean urine tests, bought an old car on a promise he would give up but nothing stopped it. After writing my thoughts here at my lowest point as we sat in the dark one night because drug dealers were coming to the door for money after he’d been sacked from a fabulous job, I felt so ashamed I wished him dead and even thought of taking my own life due to the burning shame I felt. I just want you to know that he has been clean since August 2019, he is still slowly paying off debts to us and friends (he owed £1000’s), but he is now working full time and although I still worry sick every time he is late or he drinks too much he is CLEAN. I am so grateful for all the support on here and from our other children (we never told anyone else) . I’m sure your day will come too. He said he stopped because it wasn’t fun anymore and he was sick of his sh*t life. His MH has been terrible. I pray he continues to remain well and I hope that your children too are able to recover. It’s our hearts, self-worth and mental health that will take a bit longer. I miss my old carefree life so much, but we are happy to take this new normal and be grateful for what we have. The best thing we ever did was to stop helping xx

[buttonboy]

I hope it works out for us all. Not in a million years did I ever think this would be our lives possibly for the rest of it too. Just getting up every day is so tough ???? I feel so worthless and a terrible mother to have raised an addict.

[buttonboy]

Paula, I really hope it works out for you. We are so ashamed and deseperate we are thinking of giving up our much loved home and moving away.

[buttonboy]

Hi all, after 10-12 weeks clean, a one week lapse and now 3 weeks clean again, my son’s mood is so low. His brother is worried about his mental health too. He just got suspended from work for a week with no pay, and then got got speeding coming home! His life is an absolute car crash at the moment and this has added to his stress. It’s killing us and we know we shouldn’t enable him but to see him so vulnerable, helpless / hopeless and in such terrible debt is horrible ???????? Are we fools to offer to pay debts and he pays us back?

[buttonboy]

I am so grateful for your support, but so sad for you all too, because I know just how much this hurts. He has no idea what he is doing to us as a family, I know relapse is part of the road to recovery but we are exhausted. There are so many ups and downs. I couldn’t sleep last night worrying he was going to die.

My heart is ripped out. What I do know is we CANNOT be enablers. He has been improving overall since we stopped paying his debts. He had just paid the last of dealers off and now he owes another £700 for what!! He still owes his friends and us, will we ever see it? At least he seems remorseful, stupid and ready to try again. We will see. He is out paying his entire wages to someone he owes just now. I can wait until he is home and safe. We are so annoyed we stopped urine testing after 10 clean weeks. We won’t do that again. Wishing you all the very best. My heart hurts for us all, I feel like running away xx

[buttonboy]

So after 10 weeks clean and looking fantastic, he has relapsed. He admitted to it after his girlfriend found out yesterday. We had such high hopes he was over the worst as a counsellor told me making10 weeks was a real indicator of higher recovery hopes. Beyond devastated, we are so fractured as a family. WHY WHY WHY ???? We are good people, it is all so cruel and unfair on us all ???? Up until a few months ago we were a normal happy hardworking family and now this! I have a senior job and it is effecting my work so badly. I was crying today and had to leave early with some poor excuse. He sounded so lost when I called him at work, he sounded helpless and depressed. He said “mum no matter how hard I try, I know I will never be free of this” ????

[buttonboy]

Hi, we live in Scotland too and our beautiful, handsome graduate son is in addiction recovery after making poor life choices that has shocked us all to the core. Finally after months of trying to recover on his own, we finally convinced him to join Cocaine Anon and WOW what a difference in his recovery. Just to be clear, any addict can join these groups (members at his include prescribed meds addiction, gambling, alcohol, drugs etc). He feels safe to share, gets awesome support and no longer feels he is the “only one” in this mess. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Good luck x

[buttonboy]

Well done so far, I use this forum because of the shame we feel about our youngest son’s addiction. All our children are graduates and we’re doing fantastically well, sad,y his revelation has almost destroyed us and saddled us with incredible debts. We are so happy he has finally taken the brave step and gone to Cocaine Anon (you can attend with any addiction) a few miles from where we live, and it has been so good for him. He can freely and confidentiality share his addiction / recovery story and benefits from the support so much. Be proud of yourself but don’t be frightened to seek help. Good luck on your recovery journey, your family needs you x

[buttonboy]

Hey everyone, we are on week three of our son attending CA and he is still clean (we test his urine daily), so proud of him and he genuinely looks more positive this time with his mentor support BUT we are still so anxious for him as very early days. He has a party tonight and we are encouraging him not to go but he insists he is going but will not be tempted to use. I am glad he feels so optimistic but we are worried sick. I so hope he is right x

[buttonboy]

I am so sorry not only for us as devastated parents but for the children we have loved and lost. It’s like a bereavement and so painful and hard to understand. All we can do is hope and pray x

[buttonboy]

I am so sorry this is your story, I do know until they are ready to admit there is a problem, they won’t commit to any help. Our 22 year had a cocaine addiction and has finally agreed to go to cocaine anon. We are really hoping this helps him start his recovery journey. I don’t know what to do or what advice to give you so instead I am sending a hug x x

[buttonboy]

I am so sorry this is your story, we found out in the summer our 22yr old son has a cocaine addiction. It has been the worst few months of our lives. We bailed him out in June and he has just gone out and run up the same debt and more. A counsellor told us we had to be clear with him and we must no longer enable him to continue without taking responsibility, it’s awful but the only way. I think you are doing the right thing. It’s tough love but we are praying it works. I wish you well, no parent deserves this xx

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