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Addiction changes people beyond all recognition…..But once an addict starts to beat you, he is way out of control, and you and your child need to be safe….Dont be fooled into thinking you are shielding your son from this behaviour, because no matter how small he is, he will understand the raised voices, mummy crying etc…. Please start thinking of yourself and your son…The worst thing to come to terms with is just by letting him lead his life with you means you are enabling him….He is the only one to really want the changes……Dont let this abuse be a common occurance, for you or your son…hugs xxx
Emily I can sugar coat it but would be doing you a misfortune….Its horrible knowing they are taking this drugs, and believe me as a mother a son who was in denial for 4 years….the last person the are truthful with is themselves……My son doesnt do drugs every day but he is still an addict….., the fact he does it in regular intervals tells me and his counsellor he is an addict…..
your son is transferring the reality of his addiction and passing the buck..Hes not a child hes a grown man of 26…..Help him when he is ready to help himself….
Ah honey, sorry, but he is an addict….and my guess is he is being sparse with the truth…..I know you want to believe him, but trust your instincts,, they are normally bang on…..take care hunni , xxx
Hi COLCON……What a star you are for being so level headed and taking on the nurturing role…Its sad, that you and your siblings have had to endure this..I really worry about your little brother though….If he is still in that environment with your parents ,the harm to him , mentally and physically is dangerously high……At 11 he is at the stage where he will know what is going on and for me that is heart breaking….Isnt there a relative that can check in, and make sure he is ok…??? I have no sympathy for your parents..sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you want to mess your kids heads up, then your parents are and will be doing a good job….Your mother sounds as if she has taken to drinking as there is no other alternative…that is very sad……Do your sisters still live at home??? and if so can the not ask social services or other organisations for help….I know that may sound drastic, but I really would be worrying for your little brother…….massive hugs, and here to talk xx
Addiction is hard as a bystander…..and those addicted have only one thing on their mind….their choice of drug….I think its hard to walk away, but then staying means you go through all the crap with them and watch them killing themselves, literally!!! The time will come when you will make a decision one way or the other…..but whilst your in that picture dont enable them…..hugs all xx
Hey ladies…..Getting scared, been told my son comes out 4th July…..Im scared because I dont know what to expect, but one thing I do know and he knows is if he returns to his old ways….he is on his own…! Sending positivity, love and massive hugs to you all….. xxxx
Hey hunni….Addiction is very hard for all those under its spell….I dont think it matters what we as parents want..its down to them.an thats the cruel part. Been thinking about all our boys, and the sadness that we have had to endure, but Im 100% sure that if they could they would never have taken the path to drugs….Stay strong hunni, and know that when he is ready, he will return….. sending hugs and prayers….will say one tonight to keep him safe, and dont forget to look after yourself..xxxx
Your pain is shared by all the other parents, partners, children on here…..It is hard, but those in the throws oF addiction only think of one person, and unfortunately that’s them….There are moments when you think perhaps i’m being too hard…I was like that, until the magical light bulb went on and I thought enough is enough…As for the suicide threats…thats normal…we have heard all that and more…personally, heal yourself and let him get on with it…..until he wants the help you will be fighting a loosing battle..sorry hunni xxx
Whilst you let him stay with you, and get his wine you are enabling him, and without realising it, making it very easy for him to continue with his addiction. He sounds like he is in the throws of his addiction, so nothing you do or say will make much difference. Personally I would do nothing for him..if he gets. Aggressive then think about your safety….it’ must be very tiring for you…he makes his choice every time
He drinks…..we are all here if you need to talk xxYou have done the right thing…it will only get worse, until he gets help and wants to stop. I know you love him, but you are right to put your kids first….unfortunately for most addicts the drugs do come first, and anyone in the vicinity is drawn into the hell..mood swings, lies, aggressive behaviour…all the negatives you don’t want kids to see… I hope he gets help, but stay strong for yourself and those kids, because they only have one chance of a happy childhood. Hugs x
Lou lou, you did nothing wrong, lets get that out the way first…I too live in a rural village and let me tell you, drugs are rife here too……He is at the age where doing what his peers are doing is the ultimate cool…..IF you have noticed things going missing then my guess is he has been doing this for longer than you think….and you may not want to hear this but I doubt its the first time… Facts, those who do drugs lie, steal, become aggressive…….I think you have done the right thing..contacting the school is great, because it will highlight that some of their pupils are partaking in drugs…..I would also get him to the doctors…. We have all been in your shoes, and facing it is hard…..believe me, those parents that dont think their child will ever do drugs or experiment, need a reality check… All we can do is try and educate our kids, be open with them, and if they do try drugs / get addicted don’t enable them and support them. He is a lucky lad to have a parent doing everything she can to help him….. take care x
Also the fact you havent heard anything could be he is staying with other addicts, xxxxxx
Hya Sue……come on hunni, this is not unusual…….What I will say is go back to the police and tell them its out of charachter for him, …..Also check if he has been arrested….that was always something I did…. Its hard cause not seeing him is frustrating and worrying and being around him is frustrating and worrying……Your boy hasnt gone forever love, he is in the throws of his addiction….I can’t say if he will return soon, but HE KNOWS HE IS LOVED……Breath, and take care of yourself and the rest of the family, hard I know however you will need all your strength when he returns……really hoping you hear something xxxx