Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Not too bad….have seen him over the weekend and he hasnt been too bad…..
Chelli, well done for saying no…….the sooner he realises you are not bank of mum the better……..I think as parents all we can do it continue to love them, but stop enabling their habits……have a good weekend, thinking of you xx
your daughter is so lucky to have you…you sound like you have only her interests at heart….Only you can make the decision to stop him seeing her, and by the sounds of things it looks like you have really thought about things…..It maybe a good time to lay your cards on the table with him, and tell him what you expect him to do regarding your daughter..She is obviously the most important thing in all of this….Stay strong xxx
Hi Chelle, sounds just like my son…spending his wages as soon as he had them (when he was working) then begging for money in the week……My son came home this morning at 6AM, and I have just received a mouth full of abuse when I asked him to get his arse out of bed……Im on countdown, cause I know he will go to prison….then I am going to write a very truthful open letter to him..explaining everything he has put us through, and what he can expect if he moves back home ( get clean, get a job, start treating us with the respect we deserve)..if he cant do that, then he most definately is on his own!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it sounds harsh, but our life is always on hold..The people he hangs out with are just the same, only most of their parents kicked them out years ago…..I want him to change so much…he really is a great lad when he isnt doing that crap…its up to him and only him…I cant save him
Chelli, I know your pain as do most of us on here…. My son went out yesterday at 5pm and he still isnt home….ive become hardened to it, dont know why, but im tired and have realised I cant save him..he has to want to save himself…His life is a mess, I enabled my son for the last 4 years///set him up in flat, furniture the lot, handed over thousands, but the lies and the stealing was the last straw..especially when he stole from his nan…..Ive told all the family not to give him a penny now…He is still at home, but come next month I am in no doubt he will go to prison….I have also told him that IF he wants to lead the same life when he gets out, then he needs to look for somewhere else to live….I have a 9 year old I need to think of. He had a good upbringing and we are hardworking parents, but enough is enough….I will not blame myself for his addiction…..If you need to talk im here Chelli…..oh and my name is susie (hahha) take care hunni xxx
Start thinking of you……Your son is in a safe place with his dad, and probably doesnt like the fact that dad isnt as soft as mum…Let him get on with it..it could be the making of him…you both deserve that chance….he may not like it now, but who knows….and as for him blackmailing you with saying he will try harder drugs…were you an enabler?? Helping him out, paying his debts, ???? If so , you have your answer! Take care and stop feeling guilty!!!
Hello ladies…..the support on here is fantastic..I cant tell you much stronger I feel since joining…..Thoughts and prayers for all of you strong parents…..we will never give up!!!!
Hey Fiona……I say a prayer for all our children each night and I really hope your son is braving it out…..Your son has a wonderful mother by the sounds of it….sending you love and hope xxx
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT…He is 23 and makes his own decisions……the thing with addicts is they blame everyone else…my son did it, still does, but after hearing it again and again, I know I did everything I could…….and I am sure so have you….My son will no doubt be going to prison in the next few weeks for not adhering to his tag conditions…I wont be going to court, and I certainly wont be visiting him in prison….His behaviour is geared all around drinking and doing drugs……his choice, not mine….I WILL be there when he decides he had had enough and wants help, but until then IM DONE!!!! This group has been a life line for me….you are not alone, but please DONT blame yourself or listen to his emotional blakmail…….xxxx
Hi Emmum, hope today is a better one for you….. There is so much out there about drugs but getting help is the hard part….try and keep all lines of communications open, and hard as it is stay calm…..try and come to some sort of compromise. If you can get literature on all drugs and just leave it in his room…..he may not think its a problem, and he may just be trying to fit in and leave it,and smoking weed isnt neccesarily a gateway to using harder drugs…mcat is one of the MOST POPULAR drugs used in the UK. Stay strong hunni, and know that what you are doing for your son is the right thing….If you know the other lads parents, perhaps speak to them…if not find out……im sure their parents would be as shocked as you were……here if you need anything x
wow, thats made me cry…..how a father can be so selfish is beyond me…….how is your son Fifi???
you can get drug tests online and yes they do work….this sounds like my son….he wasnt doing mcat but was doing weed at your sons age ….I like many parents thought at least its not “real drugs”, we can sort it out…wow how wrong was I…. My son is 23 now and for the last 4 years he has done cocaine, crack cocaine, weed, m cat, you name it…he has lied, stolen and caused havoc within our family…..every job he has had he has lost …..he has no motivation to stop, and unfortunately he is at the age where we cant ground him, but you have a chance!!! Get yourself and son to a local group in your area….make him go, they have counsellors who will talk with him, and as a parent you can get help too….I personally wouldnt give him an inch….I would make it really hard for him…We were blind to it all, as neither me or his dad had ever had dealings with drugs or what to look for…we even sold and moved house but too little too late for us!!!! Im sure he is a great kid, and you know your son better than anyone….good luck….
Hey Lily …hope your days have been better….My son has actually seen a solicitor this week regarding his child….He will no doubt be going to prison in the next few weeks for breach of tag, and I wonder if this could be the kick he needs..He doesnt drink or do his “recreational” (dont laugh, his explanation not mine) drugs daily, only weekends or when he cant cope……Ive told him I wont be visiting him. because I didnt give birth to him to visit him in a prison…..make no bones about it though, the fact he does it regularly makes him an addict… I havent seen my grand child for over a month now, because his mother is a complete psycho…its heart breaking, but do yuo know what..the more I talk about the situation and realise its his choice the better I cope….Lily stay strong hunni, because that little one needs you……..confrontations only happen because they know what we say is right…we are confirming they have a problem…..ive learned to try and keep it calm, and choose my moments…..hard and at times I want to scream at him…..the pressure you are putting yourself and husband under must be immense…feel for you both….here luv if you need me x
Im praying for you Fifi 65 and him…..praying that this is HIS time to love himself enough and get through the hell…..massive hugs, hope and love xxxx
Oh dear, you sound like most of us..the realisation that we are not enough is like a kick in the stomach….Have you a group near you where you can talk to others???? Just someone else listening gives you strength…My son has a child and I hate to say this but the alcohol and drugs come first..he would rather spend his money on himself than his son….now its taken me alot to write that, but I cannot lie anymore….both my grandchilds parents are not fit to give a loving home and social services are involved…As grandparents we have gone through fostering so IF anything else comes to light he will come to us….kids deserve to have their parents, but if it hinders their emotional balance, they way they view their family life, then the only looser here is the child… It sounds to me like she is simply going through the motions to keep you all quiet…something addicts do very well….Here if you need me luv ….