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Hi
Mine partner is the same made promises and changes the last couple of weeks but didn’t stick to them. He changed his job and his days off so he having Monday and Tuesdays off so Fridays don’t trigger him anymore because he would be working the weekend. Mondays he would have to take kids to school and the. Tuesday was suppose to be spending time with me or doing other stuff. But that all went out the window he got through to Monday afternoon and then did it I was so upset I said I’ve changed around my working days you’ve changed your job you said this would make you stop and you still made ever excuse to do it. Now it’s the same old cycle
Again this week
He hasn’t got enough sleep so he’s moody frustrated and angry and also the normal
Paranoid delusions.
He’s said he’s going in for overtime on Tuesday to stop him doing it this week so I’m hoping he gets through this week.
It’s really draining
Yes it’s draining you can’t win what ever you do I just ignore him now when he starts saying stuff like that and when he’s managed to not do it for a couple of weeks he starts to stop saying things like that and I have hope he’s done with it all never going to touch it again. then something triggers him and he just goes back to doing it same old cycle
Sorry for loads of the same post my internet connection was playing up and it’s posted it to many times ????????♀️
Yes I said the same thing to him he’s not that important no one is looking for you and knows about you it’s when he excuses me of cheating and messing with his food that upsets me the most
Sorry for loads of the same post my internet connection was playing up and it’s posted it to many times ????????♀️
Yes I said the same thing to him he’s not that important no one is looking for you and knows about you it’s when he excuses me of cheating and messing with his food that upsets me the most
Hi sorry to hear you are also in this situation. It’s good that you have told your parents what’s going on now that will be some support for you. Maybe this is the intervention he needs and wake up call now you’ve told your parents they will not except drug use in there house.
The being paranoid is awful a helicopter was going over our house the other day and my husband was saying See it’s the police looking out for me
It wasn’t even a police helicopter
Take care of yourself x
Hi sorry to hear you are also in this situation. It’s good that you have told your parents what’s going on now that will be some support for you. Maybe this is the intervention he needs and wake up call now you’ve told your parents they will not except drug use in there house.
The being paranoid is awful a helicopter was going over our house the other day and my husband was saying See it’s the police looking out for me
It wasn’t even a police helicopter
Take care of yourself x
Hi sorry to hear you are also in this situation. It’s good that you have told your parents what’s going on now that will be some support for you. Maybe this is the intervention he needs and wake up call now you’ve told your parents they will not except drug use in there house.
The being paranoid is awful a helicopter was going over our house the other day and my husband was saying See it’s the police looking out for me
It wasn’t even a police helicopter
Take care of yourself x
Hi sorry to hear you are also in this situation. It’s good that you have told your parents what’s going on now that will be some support for you. Maybe this is the intervention he needs and wake up call now you’ve told your parents they will not except drug use in there house.
The being paranoid is awful a helicopter was going over our house the other day and my husband was saying See it’s the police looking out for me
It wasn’t even a police helicopter
Hi sorry to hear you are also in this situation. It’s good that you have told your parents what’s going on now that will be some support for you. Maybe this is the intervention he needs and wake up call now you’ve told your parents they will not except drug use in there house.
The being paranoid is awful a helicopter was going over our house the other day and my husband was saying See it’s the police looking out for me
It wasn’t even a police helicopter
Hi
Thanks for the reply’s it’s helps to know there is others going through the same not that I would wish this on anybody but it’s good have this forum it’s helped me a lot. I’ve read the threads and related to a lot of what other people have said and the situations are exactly the same. It makes me feel less like I’m going insane because that’s how my husband makes me feel sometimes like I’m crazy.
This week Monday and Tuesday was bad because he had done it at the weekend and was on the come down. We argued same old cycle I’m blamed for everything blamed for the reason he is using he did the ok divorcing you I’m leaving thing as usual I tell him fine go it’s his choice but then he’s always saying sorry and saying he doesn’t mean those
Things it’s just that stuff making him say it and changing the way he thinks of me. It’s like then the rest of the week he’s fine the stuff must of left his system a bit he realises what he has done and then is sorry.
He didn’t do it last night. Friday is usually the night he does it because it’s end of the work week that’s what he says. He is trying to stop again but he’s got time of work
In a couple
Of weeks and has already said I’m going to do it just once over my holiday and then that’s it I will stop. It’s draining. It’s difficult
When you love someone so much but hate the person they become from that drug.
Affectedoartner- it’s good that you have told people close to you and you now have a support system
I know that is what we all need I just can’t tell anyone at the moment I feel like I’m protecting him and still waiting for him to change it’s awful.
I hope you and your daughter are ok and you are looking after yourself putting you both first. It’s difficult when children are involved as well I have 2. We need to look after ourselves for the children so we don’t get iLL.
Hope you both have a good weekend
Stay strong
Hi
My partners be doing it for the last 5 years. before that he had tried it on and off on nights out but it was never a problem it was just a bit of fun I use to do it years ago with him when we first got together but that was once in a blue moon. Then he started doing it more often because it’s so easy to get the guy comes round the house and drops it off so he didn’t feel he had to go out and meet someone on the street and risk getting caught. It got worse during lockdown we just moved house and then everything shut. He couldn’t go to the gym or play golf. He was still working through out the lockdowns but as soon as the weekend comes he was doing it every Friday. At one point he was spending £800 a month. We had just moved house paid off all our debts but now he’s got himself back into debt the last 2 years because he’s got worse at doing it.
Last year he got clean for 16 weeks finally I thought things were
Finally getting better he stopped drinking alcohol in that time as well which is good because that is a big trigger for him to then go and do coke.
So after 16 weeks of being sober he had an old friend contact him from school and it bought back bad memory’s and he said that triggered him to start doing it again and he also convinced himself that because he was clean for 16 weeks he could do it
Once and then be clean again. He had in his mind he could do
It every 3 months as a treat but he can’t do that because he’s an addict you can’t just do it and then stop again because the drug gets a hold of you and starts all the cravings again.
So he went and did it and then the next month he was back on
It and we were arguing so much and he convinced himself that I was cheating on him so while we had just had a big argument on the phone I hanged up
On him and so he decided that night to go sleep with someone else because I made him angry and in his head I was fucking someone else.
After a few days he came clean to me and told me he had
Cheated on me and that he felt so bad and couldn’t believe he had done it.
I was so heart broken because I never thought he would ever do that to me because my husband before the drugs took over would never of done that to me ????.
After that happened we have tried to rebuild and I’ve tried helping him but he is still using. He’s had a couple of weeks here and there where he’s not used and it’s the same old promises I won’t do it again or one last time or something happens at work
That triggers him or something that he thinks I’ve done triggers him so he goes Back to It.
It’s so draining I haven’t looked after myself I started smoking again because of stress so I’m trying to give that up at the moment and just eat healthy exercise and do some self care things.
I also dont have anyone to talk
To this about. I wouldn’t want to tell
My family because I’m embarrassed about it also I’m kind of protecting him because I wouldn’t want them to think badly of him and see him in a different way.
I have spoken to my friend briefly about it in the past but never told
Her the true extent of it again just embarrassed that this is my life right now.
Sorry for the long reply
How long has your partner been doing it? Is it weekend thing or more
Hope you take time to look after yourself as well
Hi,
Sorry to hear this
I’m in the same situation my partner is still using drugs at the weekend he just used this weekend just gone and did more than usual so his come down is worse
He’s angry frustrated blaming me
For everything accusing me of cheating on him literally calling me a slut saying I’m effing everyone.
It’s really getting me down and stressed I don’t look after myself because it’s all about him
And what mood he’s going to be in.
Cocaine is an evil drug and it changed the ones we love
I’m really hoping he just give up but I’m so tired of the empty promises as well
He’s already planning on doing it again this weekend telling me this
Will be the last time
Hi carlb
Wow well done for being sober for 18 months thats amazing. I read your post on the brink you have been through a lot. But getting sober and staying sober is amazing achievement.
I posted on this forum last year about my husband who has a cocaine addiction. He would mainly do it at weekends and any time he had off work if for a week or a few days he would be taking it. The addiction got worse because of lockdown last year he said it was because he couldn’t play golf or go to the gym. He has now been sober for 10 weeks. But the drugs and alcohol abuse I think has really damaged him mentally I have been reading up
About psychosis and I think he has it. Since his cocaine addiction got bad for 2 years he was taking it almost every weekend and drinking heavy . He has accused me everyday of cheating on him
He’s become obsessed that I am sleeping with other men when he’s at work. He’s angry and frustrated a lot and takes it out on me he bites on his jaw and is paranoid people are just out to get him or people are listening in on our conversations on the phone.
This has really affected me I can’t do anything right I feel
I’m on egg shells and everything depends on what mood he’s in.
One minute he’s fine we are all
Good then something will trigger him maybe a memory from
The past or something that winds him up he will just be so angry and take it out on me.
I’m so drained and sufferer anxiety from all this it’s affected my lower back I am now suffering with pain there I feel I can never put my self first as it’s all
to do with him. I’m proud and happy for him that he has been sober 10 weeks but I’m still
On edge and worry that he will release some times if he angry he will
Pick a fight with me and threaten I might as well be back on the powder just if I do something wrong. He never use to be like this but since the alcohol and drug abuse it’s just changed the way he is.
Will this get better will he ever recover or will
It always be like this? Did you suffer from any of this?
I just feel so sad that this is how our life is cocaine has ruined my life and my husbands so sad.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post
This sounds just like my situation. I posted on here a couple of month ago about my husbands cocaine problem I didn’t post again because I thought things were going to get better. They haven’t. In 6 months he’s managed to go 2 weekends with out being on coke. Every weekend it’s the same thing this is the last time he always says I’m going to sort my self out we even have talks on the phone when he’s at work and he promises me all this stuff and makes plans for the future but then the weekend comes around and he on it. We have 2 young children and it’s got to the point now where I have realised he does not want to spend anytime with me or the children. In the week he works nights theN plays golf then At the weekend when he finish Friday night he makes plans for himself to play golf then come home and get on coke he sits upstairs high playing PlayStation games walking round the house just to make appearance to the kids then sleeps all day Sunday back at work Monday then same old cycle begins the anger depression moodiness frustration it’s so sad to see what it’s done to my husband I’ve only just admitted to myself that I have lost him along time ago to drugs and alcohol he doesn’t listen to anything I say either and if I try to talk to him it turns into an argument and I also feel like I’m going mad because that’s how he makes me feel he turns it into me like it’s me who makes him do it and he is paranoid as well constant accusing me of cheating on him. It’s insane I have 2 young children Who I’m looking after all the time I’m doing all the parenting and he thinks I’m out cheating as well. It makes me so sad and angry as well I try not to let it get to me now because I do have to be strong for the children. I am also in the same boat that he is making all the money at the moment I’m on maternity I will go back in December. He also reminds me he makes all the money and makes me feel like I do. Nothing. He works 6 days and 5 days but then spends the over time money he’s making on coke. He is Financially running us. I do love him and so do the kids but now it’s got to the point that I’m not talking to him I can’t bare to be around him I go out with the kids to get away from him and I’m relieved when he goes to work and I don’t have to deal with the emotional abuse and just his depression moods. I’ve been in denial that I think he will change it’s like I’m been waiting and waiting that he’s going to but I think the cocaine has got him now and that’s more important to him than his family right now.
He just says that he’s just gonna do what he wants to do yet That’s what he’s been doing this whole time it’s all about him he is so selfish.
Sorry for the long post I can just relate so much to what you said and it helps me reading other post here and getting advice.
The best we can do is look after ourselves and make sure our Health and mental health is good because this drug ruins every ones lives involved.