[centralscot]

Hi Huddle

It totally destroys everything and gradually takes you with it. Don’t let it destroy you.

We were always the strong ones in the family … the ones everyone else would turn to when they needed help or advice. Thanks to this, I’m now the one left trying to keep the plates spinning (although the ones at the edge are beginning to fall and smash).

I would never have described myself as needing help or support, but am now beginning to realise that sometimes things are just to big to carry alone. I have made contact with a local support group as there are times when I get to the end of my tether when I just hit a brick wall. Apart from wishing it would all just go away, I just need practical advise about how to live with this.

In saying all that and as painful as it may be, I can always just throw in the towel and just walk away. This is not something I want, but in the end I suppose it’s an option. I truly feel for other members of the forum where this is not an easy option (son or daughter).

Onwards and upwards xxx

[centralscot]

Jules, that brought a smile to my face.

This sounds all so familiar. I’ve had the secret cameras in the house. Viewing /listening must be absolutely riveting – me sleeping/eating or watching tv. It got ripped out in a rage by him the other week and smashed to bits.

Cameras and CCTV seem to be a big thing for him. Caught him watching me for 6 hours on our business CCTV. I can only imagine how thrilling that must have been … not!

Am I missing something … but if I was having an affair – would I be doing anything at work or at home when I know there are cameras.

Deep breath time and counting to 1000.

Sorry to ramble, but sometimes ranting about it helps ;-).

Hugs and kisses x

And Jules, I wish he was having an affair and he could be someone else’s problem.

[centralscot]

Brrwz. Everyone’s story overlaps and I see much of my partners behaviour in ur story.

Sometimes it just help to get it out. I go through every emotion – anger, hate, frustration, sympathy almost every day.

We’re at the stage where it’s not even mentioned (it’s like the elephant in the room). I hope for your sake maybe he will succeed in giving it up at some point.

You need to look after yourself and stay strong x

[centralscot]

Thanks Jules

You are so right in everything you have said.

If it weren’t so serious it would be hilarious. He’s now changed his phone as I am supposed to have put a secret partition in his iPhone WTF!

Friends/family see me going downhill but they can only advise.

I need to hit the button and bring this to a close. I think it will be really messy ….. but life not exactly a bed of roses as things stand right now.

This full thing has just broken me.

U take care Jules x

[centralscot]

I think I’m your mirror image Eddie. Keep ur chin up and stray string x

[centralscot]

So after a couple of days last week and during the weekend, things seemed to go back to normal – ye really, like the real person.

Been here on several occasions though. You ‘think’ things are back to normal … then BOOM! Back to square 1 with a bang. Although u know it’s coming, you always feel optimistic that maybe things will change.

Home tonight after a night visiting my parents and I’m accused of being with a random boy and it looks like he’s been on the computer ‘analyzing’ stuff. Phone records, computer code looking for god knows what. Knew all this was coming as txt messages increasing random, misspelled and bizarre.

Coming to the conclusion that life is too short for all this and I’m done trying.

[centralscot]

Thank you for you reply.

I read over your story and it sounds like we’re all on this bloody rollercoaster. Much of the things you mention are so farmiliar. I have not even mentioned half of his antics as I’m either embarrassed for him or have just blocked them out.

What I took from your story is that you need to look out for yourself. If he wants to stay in the gutter, then so be it …. but I am not going there.

At the moment he has practically alienated every member of his family – so I am really the only one left that gives a damm. Without me, he has no one.

I can see the same pattern in respect to txt messages etc … and even sleeping in the garage. Key thing is … don’t bite and just ignore. A couple of weeks ago I just switched my phone off and disappeared for 24 hours. Whilst the effects were only positive for a few days, it maybe was a jolt and a reminder that he needs me more than I need him.

Anyways, onwards and upwards. Going to speak with a counsellor and get myself in right frame of mind to deal with this crap once and for all.

Thank you so much. Sometimes it just helps to vent frustrations and get it out there xx

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