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I feel the same, I love and hate my son, I worry all the time where he is and await the call or knock on the door, but when he turns up at my door I’m instantly edgy and on egg shells, all my other children live under his shadow and he can’t see what he’s doing to us all, many give advice but don’t truly understand how it is, I’m made to feel I’m doing wrong all the time but I’m at a loss as to what is right and wrong anymore x
Understand the guilt completely, is the worst emotion, I feel it every day, my son has spent a lot of time sofa surfing, being in squats and also on the streets, but I can’t have him live here with the other children I have in the house, we as parents don’t deserve this life, not that it is a life, I feel I exist each day, they dont see what they do to us and all we do is try and help, i hope you find some peace here, I’ve just joined and really hope I find peace a bit as well x
I really feel for all of you, and is so similar for all of us, ubfeel so broken, I’m not the person I always was before, my spark has gone and I cry all the time, my son is in denial and blames everyone else for everything, he never remembers what he has said or done so thinks I am being nasty for no reason even though I’m never nasty I juat can’t tolerate this anymore, it’s affecting the whole family, I have no answers I’m afraid but hope we can support each other as we all understand how it feels, just want my happy, lovable, funny son back instead of the monster he is 90% of the time 🙁