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I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s terrible to go through. My partner drinks regularly which I can cope with but goes on these crack binges whenever he has free cash. It took me a long time to realise what he was upto disappearing and turning his phone off etc. Four years ago it all came to light. I gave him the ultimatum and things calmed down but it has always still been there and I just put up with it. Lately he had more funds and the problem is worse than ever like every 2 weeks an he comes back skint. Promise after promise he will change. It has me on pins and I feel at my wits end. Anyway he did it again on Thursday and I won’t let him back in ( it’s my tenancy not his). Normally I get the begging but this time he’s agreed to go to the Salvation Army. I suppose one part ov me is relieved as it’s so hard to live with all the lies and behaviour but on the other I will miss the good times when he’s normal but they have become less and less. I know the problem will worsen in the Salvation Army and then it’s game over for me I will have to try and move on. It’s so hard but I’ve accepted it’s not my drug problem and I don’t deserve the shit I put up with. I’m just like you it’s so hard to let go but it’s just unmanageable to live with . It’s difficult but we have no say over what other people do. I just hope to get some stability back in my life. I hope you know your not on ur own in this position and I really hope things go your way
I know it’s easier said than done but do you want kids with this man? I have my kids from my previous relationship which just broke down naturally in time no drugs involved.Would I have wanted kids with the man I’m on:off with at present? No not at all because he is a pay day crack.k cocaine user. I thought he had it under control after behaving for 4 months but oh no. He’s off an has been for a week. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of ringing him whilst he’s on one ov these binges I just get on with my life but then as per the past two days comes the phone calls and begging it won’t happen again because he’s had enough now and could probably behave another 4 months. This is just my experience and is not the same as yours but I would want to have kids and settle down with someone who lives a normal life like yourself but I hope things work out for you whichever way you go I know I may sound cold but after 8 years off this only actually finding out 3 yrs ago what’s going on(how naive) I can’t help feel this way. Wishing you lots of love an hope you get what you’d looking for x
It’s crack with my partner and I really can’t answer your question. I wish I could. My experience has gotten worse with his disappearing acts and blowing vast amounts of money then having nothing for the rest of the month. I found 2020 horrendous on top of everything else and in September it came to a head when his mother died and he couldn’t be found. Since then until Sunday he really behaved and I was killed into a false sense of security as out the blue he disappeared and so it begins. Back to square one not a penny and lies that it’s not gone on drugs but I know clearly it has just by looking at him he looks unhealthy and smelled etc. I’m in limbo at the minute with the promise it’s never going to happen again but I suspect it will and it’s how much as a person you can take because I can’t take much more. I’m not saying people don’t change but in my experience there’s a lot who don’t. I hope that you are ok I know how it feels stay close to family/friends to give YOU the support you deserve and need. Xxx
Yes unfortunately. I have been on the receiving end of abuse from my bf when he’s taken drugs which has progressed to crack. I fund him and this has become expected but something is changing in me and I have warned I will not do this again. He knows something has snapped with me but whether he’s actually going to change remains to be seen. It’s a horrible situation to be in and I hope you are ok as I know the toll it takes physically and mentally on you. Wishing you all the best
This sounds very familiar to what Ihave been and still am going through. I’m coming to the conclusion that things will never change. I might get the odd month he behaves but then I’m on pins leading up to the next day pay. It is beginning to affect me emotionally and financially as everything falls on me running the house paying bills running a car I have nothing left financially due to his wrecked ness with money I am being blamed for his episodes and I start to feel there is more for me than this when the promises to change are false. I don’t know if this is like you and I wish I had the answer but I don’t I am getting incredibly close to calling time. Hope u are ok