[chris81]

Yeah same thing for me Light, even came up with a very detailed reason for needing them. Timed all the visits equally etc.

I was challenged by ONE pharmist who ask me when Id ladt been in as police were now watching pharmacies for supplying too much, ironically it was a pharmacy I hardly ever went to, when I asked for the tablets when I went in his first words were “thought so”, that kinda freaked me out but I just acted completely dumb, he was right but not about me buying before, I guess its getting a bigger problem and pharmacies are getting wiser

[chris81]

Thanks Light – I know all about the frantic searching in pockets and draws and hoping you “forgot” about half a pack somewhere.

Anyway glad to say sticking with it, been munching on some grapes and trying to keep my mind busy by doing my expenses for work. Might bob through to the garden centre in a bit and just have a wonder round.

I find it fascinating how from one day to the next, or even hour to hour, your brain and body can change within a moment – There’s just so much that goes on in our brains and bodies, its incredible.

[chris81]

Hey Chas / Light thanks for the words and support as always, it is really helping having this little group 🙂 I’m like you this morning Chas, overwhelming desire to “just have a couple of more just this once”but I know I’ll feel guilty for it if I did and it’s only going to set me back. I have had my morning 90mg but my mind and body is thinking “if you just had another three you’d get a little buzz and have a day off constantly thinking about it”, but I’m staying strong, have my green tea at the side of me, I’m trying to find little healthy things like fruit, herbal teas etc as I was thinking that may give me a boost in itself from the nutrients and goodness. It has worked so far, just very conflicted yesterday / today, not sure what it is, maybe just a bump in the road.

What’s everyone up to today? I’m at a bit of loose end, possibly why my mind is wondering slightly more, I’m not down as such, just wish the “go on have a couple” thought / voice would go out of my head grrrr.

Hope you’ve had a better morning than yesterday Eva and you’re okay xx

[chris81]

Morning all, hope every one is okay, good to hear from you Light!

So think this is day 10 for me – Feel like Ive hit a bit of a wall as nothing seems to be any different over the past few days in terms of mental / physical, not sure whether I need to change something up a bit?

[chris81]

Hey guys

Glad to hear from you 🙂

Ill be honest I feel like Im cheating somehow by tapering because my symptoms arent much at all now, its just the mental battle / habit.

The first 3 – 5 days were by far the worst where I felt I had flu. Now its the odd ache and stifness with the mental battle.

Ive been on 30/500 for a good 5 – 7 years so Im finding it very odd and feel like Im copping out. Im on 90mg in a morning and 90mg in ab evening now, used to be 200 – 250mg every couple of hours before.

Has your day got any better Eva? Hope your son is okay now x

[chris81]

Morning Eva – Sorry to hear you’ve not had a good start today 🙁 Hopefully things pick up as the morning goes on. You’ve reached another day and that in itself is a good and positive thing to hold on to. I’m similar with anxiety although I have always been an anxious person anyway so I’m guessing that the codeine used to gloss over that aspect of me and now that I’ve reduced Im feeling it probably more than I would normally, I guess its a case of just balancing and settling without any “medical intervention”.

Hope everyone else is doing okay?

I do think its brilliant how just from one post its attracted a number of people and we can all help each other and relate.

Whats everyones plans for today? It’s a bit rainy again up here in Yorkshire so most like chores and odd jobs round the house for me.

[chris81]

100% relate Chas.

Im on leave from work this week but Ill try keep myself busy.

Must say though Camomile tea is a must!

[chris81]

Totally agree Chas – Its almost like “legal” drug dealers with having such addictive pills over the counter. Almost like they know how to get people addicted and jack the price up. It is getting a bigger problem for sure. I think the US has a major problem with it at the moment.

As Ive mentioned before I was addicted to crack cocaine around 15 years ago for about 2 years, Ill be honest codeine is harder to come off mentally, and may be physically too.

[chris81]

Yeah and what Im finding more and more is how identical peoples experience is, as in how it starts, the history and personality of the person, the different tricks and techniques used etc.

Obviously we are all different but theres definately a connection there

[chris81]

Hey guys, glad youve had a good day Light 🙂

Chas – I know what you meqn re liberating, its only been a week and I already feel more positive and aware. I was on 30/500’s with easy access via dark web to as many pills as I could afford so it feels cleaner already in my head.

[chris81]

Ps. Ive been eating loads too, Im assuming its the bodys way of stabilising so Im not feeling guilty about that part lol xx

[chris81]

Hey Eva – Been q long day mentally although think thats just down to it being a rainy lazy bank holiday.

Changed things up yesterday and only had 90mg in the morning and again at 6pm so just twice and on route to do the same again today. Symptoms are a bit more flared up but thats no doubt due to the decrease in doses.

Still feeling positive, just a bit “meh” today but still all good and on track 🙂

[chris81]

Thats amazing that you have dug deep and changed things especially with GAD, I can only imagine how hard it was / is. Stay strong.

And yes, we are all still here with the same motives and pulling together 🙂 For the good of everything. 🙂

[chris81]

Hey both – Thanks for sharing Light – Every minute and every day is progress, keep it up, Im really admirable of you.

Sounds like we all have a lot in common for the reasons both starting and stopping. The psychology of it all is immense.

I take Sertraline daily (prescribed) for low mood / depresion and Im sure that is complimenting staying positive.

I dont know about anyone else but I keep getting “phantom highs”, as in feeling really positive and talkative etc, has anyone else had that? Could be my Sertraline I guess not being mixed with as much codeine and the chemical changes in my brain?

[chris81]

Yeah 100% agree, routine and daily tasks are vital. Did you say you had been codeine free since end of March? Are you still experiencing withdrawal symptoms?

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