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You too. He’s going for a drug test Friday so we shall see how clean he is.
We had a big argument last night I found a pipe and just saw red especially when he called me crazy.
He claims he had that one ages so I’ve thrown it away.
Yes I guess if he physically can’t smoke it’s a good thing in some ways.
I wish I could give you some better advise, I wish I had the answers that would solve both ours and their problems.
He’s not aggressive in the slightest there’s been a few incidents while he’s been addict, nothing ever before that.
I really hope things change for us all soon and for the better obviously.
Nice to hear from you again. X
It wasn’t a hard push, I wasn’t expecting it that’s what surprised me the most.
I’m going to try and speak to him about asking for a different worker.
I really hope it works out but it’s the fear of knowing it probably won’t yet .
Has he been tested? It’s a scary time to have it now there’s 3 different types. I really hope he gets better soon. I’m sure your very worried about him at the moment. I would be too. That’s one thing I have been concerned about as there bodies can’t be as strong as they were with the abuse.
I really hope he does re stock and it works out.
He’s so lucky to have you. X
Aww liberty I’m gutted for you. All that hard work you put in for that. You must be crushed and yet you still support him.
It always feels like a one way street doesn’t it ? I guess in a way it is.
He has done well but for some reason is avoiding his drug worker. He’s never really liked engaging with her.
Unfortunately like you I know he’s getting money in a couple of weeks and I have a strong feeling that as soon as it’s in the bank it’ll be gone. And that’s what makes me feel physically ill.
He too has mood swings it hasn’t been regular but yesterday he was a bit moody and pushed me, there was no need for it nothing had been said. And I said was there any need for that and he said you knew I wanted to get past.
Unfortunately there is nothing we can do apart from stand by and watch it happen again.
I hope your OK even though I know you must be heartbroken. I hoped with you not being in contact it was a positive thing. Please take care of yourself x
Hi Liberty
I’m ok, im now on antidepressants.
It’s a strange one he’s claiming to be clean apart from methadone for 12 days but I suspect he used on day 6 he strongly denies this. And when I woke up his bike has now moved so now I’m thinking is it possible he did last night. Apart from that he’s been good I’ve had no reason to suspect him.
As for housing that’s still ongoing I’m just waiting for a suitable property to come up.
How are you ? X
I went on and a little chat basically they told me everything I know I need to do just that I’m struggling to do it. I do feel a little better and I’m hoping next week will be the start of some positivity
I just wish there was more support out there. I feel trapped, like everyone wants something from me but no one wants to actually help.
We had an argument last night well I say argument it was just me and him looking blank or just up you say so.
It’s exhausting, I really hope that somewhere for him to live comes up soon because I don’t know how much more I can take.
Your right it is an excuse he came back and straight away his first thought was scoring. I’ve told him I can’t take much more so I’m dedicating the rest of this week getting him a place I want out.
I’m sick of trying to save him.
He does say he wants to stop but says it’s too hard.
He knows he has a problem but I don’t if he’s ashamed , embarrassed or even in denial about the amount he uses.
I’m not sure if it’s that he just doesn’t want me to know how bad it actually is.
Thank you.
I don’t honestly know if I do believe it. But he does need a place to live, he can’t stay with me and the children.
He’s been using for approximately 22 months and I just can’t believe how it takes over so quickly, how your whole life becomes nothing expect how do I get my next fix.
Things have started to change but not nearly enough. This time last year he was his main dealers lacky in in fact this time last year he even lived with him. But since October he’s stayed away from him and now that dealer is on the run. But unfortunately there are plenty more dealers. But at least there not as ruthless as that one.
He’s probably climbing the walls right now as he’s been in the cells since 9am yesterday morning. Part of me is glad he’s there I know he’s ok and I know he isn’t on it another part of me is just thinking when he’s out again all he’ll be bothered about is getting a fix.
Your reply reduced me to tears. Everything you say is completely true. I have no problem saying he’s an addict, I know he is and I hate it. He’s a fairly new addict but he’s on crack and on methadone which he’s done very well on despite a couple of hiccups.
Although I’m well aware addiction is easier to then get off it infuriates me. I do believe he wants to quit heroin and he will but crack I’m not so sure. I just wish he’d wake up and see the damaged it’s caused but I doubt that will be anytime soon.
I know I need to break free but when I know I’m all he has it’s so hard I wish it wasn’t so hard. I have his children and if anything happened to him and I don’t know if I could forgive myself never mind our children and this is the part I battle with.
I know it’s his choice, I know I’ll never come close now to his habit or worse his children.
This is what I agonise over.
If he had his own place, safe and secure I could relax.
You need to get out of this relationship the fact that it is still new and has nearly cost you your life it’s extremely scary.
As someone else has previously said if you’ve never used coke before don’t start now it’s a slippery slope.
I think the best thing for you is to end this relationship before you get in too deep.
Stay safe
Privategirl I couldn’t agree more with when your in the situation it’s a whole other ball game. And like you I use to be the one saying leave.
Woman’s aid will be a good place for you to start and they’ll advise you what to do.
You may want to get a non molestation order out on him.
If he isn’t on the tenancy or mortgage it’ll be easier to get him to leave.
No one on here will judge you pretty much everyone is in the boat.
Stay safe
Thank you for your replies. You seem very clued up on this awful situation.
Some days it’s just so draining.
I hate when i confront him he looks at as though he’s a victim. And when I say stop looking at me like I’m in the wrong he’ll say all you do is shout at me. As if he’s a child.
In a way it is good to know it isn’t just me but in another it’s so sad that other people are suffering because the we love and because of people that are greedy and don’t want to get a real job so sell this stuff.
I thought he was doing well and had turned a corner but last week all the rubbish resurfaced.
I am trying to get him a place to live. He’ll be living on the streets without me but your right I need to cut him off, I know that.
He needs to learn what his choices have done.