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This is my worry I’ve already had to replace Christmas presents and not cheap I’m over £600 worth. Again up all night but at least I know the end is in sight now. He has to get his own place.
I thought he was getting better up seemed to be but it proves how stupid I am.
It’s most definitely a flat no now. He’s had a horrendous night and kept us all awake. He was can I have £20 this is the last time I promise. I told him hell no am I paying for drugs knowingly. I told never again will you get a penny from me. I’ll never give you cash again
I’m getting really angry with him again his lack of thinking of others is driving me insane.
I’ll be honest I don’t actually know what is going through my mind, I’m so angry at these supposedly supportive agencies. All they did is pick at the bad stuff and never acknowledged the small but still positives.
I was told the day before my children would not be considered to be put on child protection and I would not face eviction yet was threatened with both.
Him and I we’re not together but I still try my best with despite the crap he puts me through.
Like today he said I’ll ring my drug worker and sort out what is going on with the comments she made but I need credit so idiot me gave it him for him to run across the road and get his fix. Knowing the childre and house is at risk because of him. He did it anyway.
It’s sad that your bf has accepted that this is his life especially when it doesn’t have to be.
This is what I don’t understand why they don’t want more for themselves.
Why would they rather carry on and potentially kill themselves for a 15 minute high it makes no sense at all.
I sort of get you can’t just stop addiction but when your life is only about a fix what’s the point ?
Basically I went into the meeting blind because I was told wrong.
I’ve been threatened with eviction and my children going on the child protection register yet yesterday I was told by social services this would not happen not at all.
They are saying they feel like he isn’t trying or showing signs of change despite being on medication. I feel like there has been some improvement but there’s a hell of a long way to go. But a couple of hours ago he said he go to the chip shop for my youngest and himself but the money has gone and no sign of the chip shop.
So proving them right.
I feel so alone and ganged up on to be honest.
I totally get what your saying you constantly feel almost as if your their carer because they cant look after themselves because they can only think about one thing.
He never listens to he just sits there looking at me as if I’m the big bad wolf. At least your bf he occasionally gives you something back.
My life could depend on it and he still wouldn’t tell me anything.
I should really get a grip and just close the door on him because it’s clearly a one way street.
The meeting was a disaster I actually starting to wonder why I even bother getting up in a morning
I don’t get any support because stupidly the people I thought i could rely on just turned out to be judgemental and and backstabbers.
I wish I could escape it for a while.
It really gets you down doesn’t it ?
It does me anyway they say yes I’m going to do it and be positive and then it feels like your turning your back and their doing it again.
Hi liberty
Sorry for the delay, I didn’t get the notification this time for some reason.
I feel like all eyes are on me but maybe my paranoia is getting the better of me again.
I don’t know what I’m fearful of to be honest, I feel like no matter how hard I try I get it wrong yet all I’m doing is trying to please everyone.
Good for his son.
I hate these “mates” scum of the earth doing that to someone.
Aww well done you. I hope this is your bfs turning point.
I have a big meeting tomorrow it’s probably that, that’s making me feel like I’m being watched and judged.
I just wish he’d have a bit more will power.
I wish I could relax more, I just feel like all eyes are on me all the time. How can that be ? How can I constantly feel like I’m on trial yet all I’ve done is try to help things get better?
Progress has been seen, little progress but it’s progress i guess.
Yes I see what your saying i guess there is a fine line. And I think my biggest mistake is I try too hard to stop him making mistakes. I fail of course.
He tries emotional blackmail at times. He knows deep down you can do better so he tries not in maliciously but tries to make you believe you can’t. I think maybe that’s because of fear of losing you.
He wanted a fix the other day and he used his mums health to try and get money. I told him if your mum is so ill you’ll let me drop you off you dont need money. He stormed off I’ve heard nothing of his mum being ill since. I hate that addiction makes he lie about such serious things but what can you do ? X
It is him and never for one second think it’s you.
Unfortunately probably at this moment in time he doesn’t. Mine is at the in two minds stage he’s been for help and stuff, he says he wants to be free of it but his cravings for it are far stronger then he is.
Our situations probably are similar and in some ways that brings comfort but in others it so sad that other people, other families are suffering this way too.
Always here if you want to chat, rant or just off load sometimes It does help especially the days when you feel like your going crazy and feel so trapped with it all. Well it does me. X
I totally understand. Your absolutely right they don’t get it do they the children see what they are it’s nothing to do with us.
One of my children absolutely hates his dad and has no respect for him whatsoever. I do say to him sometimes mind your mouth but he’s still your dad. Like you say they don’t mind the children having consequences for their actions but don’t expect any for themselves.
I feel for I really do. It’s a horrible situation to be in. And it is most definitely a vicious cycle.
Sending love to you x
I do the majority of the time say no I gave in to him a couple of times but he gave it me back yesterday.
I have no idea what he says to them if I’m honest but they seem to believe he’ll come out the other side I’ve told him he must always be honest with his drug worker because it won’t be the worst she’s heard before.
The social worker says he won’t be around for much longer as he’s happy with the way things are.
I hope this is true because although I know my children are in no danger because I won’t allow them to be, I still feel on edge with them around.
I get what your saying with your new place that’s how I want mine to be too when I find a new home.
It’s going to be hard to leave him behind but it’s his choices that have brought us here. If he hadn’t have accepted the local pond lifes here this will make you feel better we would still be together properly and not like we are now.
Why can’t they just accept help and be determined to kick the habit? Why can it not be that simple ?.
I guess for us who has never / would never we will never know. X
Your absolutely right it is a reflection on him and not you.
I’m in a very angry and fed up of the whole thing place at the moment.
I’m trying my best to help him as he says he wants to be clean but still I’m seeing nothing to prove this.
He spoke to his key worker and he sounds upbeat and determined but that isn’t how he is to me. The social worker said the same he seems determined.
So why over the last few days as he done nothing but beg for money I dont have ?
I’m so sick of it
My children most of them are old enough to know what he’s doing and they too wanted him here to get him off it but now they said he’s proper crackhead begging and not taking no for an answer.
What do I say to that ? That’s what they see now.
Now I’m beginning to wonder have I let my children down having him here ? Do I put him before them ? I like to think I don’t, I’m sure I don’t but do they see that?
How are you feeling ? I hope your OK. X
Hello everyone
How are things with me ? Good question. In all honesty I don’t know. I feel like somehow,somewhere it’s all gone wrong and I can’t work out how or why.
I’m really in a tough situation if he doesn’t stay here he has nowhere to go but lately my kids don’t want him around he can’t take no for answer. He’s constantly begging for money and gets louder and louder with it and then shouting until an argument breaks out.
I just wish he could just get his own place now I’m fed up of this life.
Hi liberty
To be totally honest I didn’t respond to him. I’ve had the same again last night ive deleted the numbers, im sick of this life just rubbish.
They don’t really give you anything back do they ?
Tell me about it, it is sad but it makes me so angry I hate when people call it an illness because it isn’t this started out as a personal choice, an illness is not a choice nor is it a addiction.
Unfortunately unknown 123 the crack will always be first you’ll never be first nor will your children when it comes to crack.
I don’t sit up checking if he’s alive but I do get up alot because he’s so restless and he doesn’t give you much of a choice.
One well obviously it’s more then one we all havevin common but another thing we have is how we’re all ignored phone calls and texts, I think it’s selfish to be honest we know what their doing, they know we know so why not say I’ll be back in a few hours or days?
Why be so selfish and cruel I think.
They must see what it puts us through, I’m sure you’ve both said to them how its affects you to them, I know I have. Not that he cares it’s all about him.
I too feel like walking away but it’s far easier said then done. I feel like I’ll have no choice soon. Some of my kids are teenagers and at one time wanted him around but now their changing their minds and they come first.
Hi liberty
Yes he came just under 24hours later claiming he wants to change and he’s sick of the life he’s leading. Well lasted all of 3 hours. He claims he stayed at a friend’s he doesn’t have friends anymore he cut them all off for his habit.i
think he’s helping someone deal. I know he doesn’t because he isn’t gone long enough unless this is about to become regular which it won’t not here.
I’m glad your feeling a bit better.
Has he tried to contact you?
I’m getting so tired of being on this roundabout now.
I asked if at any point he gave his family a second thought when he said he was going to the shop and never returned but he just looked at me.
I asked today do you think you owe me an explanation, he said what for.
No thought for anyone but himself.
Stay safe and keep being strong xx