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I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I do talk to my mum but then I feel guilty as it’s not her fault. I can’t really talk to anyone about it as everyone has opinions and they don’t understand or listen. They don’t have the emotions attached to it as I do. I don’t really use this site, but I feel that I need to as I am harbouring a lot of anger towards her.

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Yes I understand. My sister has been cruel with her words too. Horrid. I’m sorry to hear that you are suffering with his addiction and baring the brunt of it. Have you got any support? I believe you. Thank you for your reply 🙂

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Yes. I think the trouble is she is so used to me and my mum always being there to pick her up and to do stuff for her, that now I’ve withdrawn that she’s making no effort. Sometimes I think it’s good to see that if you stop doing what you have always done, even contacting first, it’s interesting to see what happens…..nothing! I think she has the ‘poor me’ act going on. She’s lots of attention from those not emotionally involved. However family such as my brother, sister in law and myself are so deeply hurt by her selfishness and attitude towards is all.

Thanks for your reply and well done for staying clean 🙂

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That’s a shame rehab didn’t work. My sister is going soon and we really hope it works but I’m sceptical. Yes they do lie and I find it makes me angry as feel they taking the mick out of you.

Could you ask him to help out in the house? I know he’s not working so can’t contribute in a monetary way. Could he cook? Do some washing? Just so he has a little structure to his day and a sense of achievement. What does he do during the day?

I completely understand feeling ashamed and frustrated. I will only speak with one close friend about it because people judge, don’t understand and are rude about it. Then I get defensive and upset. I know it’s an illness, but it is a horrible one. As like you said they lie which causes trust issues. At least on here you can get some support. X

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Hi, yes I can understand both sides. Does he want to stop? Does he work? It’s so difficult, you can’t jusy throw him out as you love him, but you also don’t want him living with you and taking you for granted. X

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It’s very difficult when you love someone so much you will do almost anything for them. Have you looked into an Adfam or similar group locally to you? My mum goes to one and they give help and advice. There are groups out there for him to attend (if he wants too) that’s the hard part. You can’t make him. I do know that at some NA groups they have drug dealers hanging about outside, so because the drug has changed the part of the brain that can’t say no. The temptation is too much and they use again, when trying there best not too. Have you spoken with your GP about what help to source? X

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Hi, I hope this finds you well. I’m just wondering in what way people think/feel you are enabling your son? I believe my Mum does the same with my sister. It’s very hard to distinguish between being kind/being a mother/and enablement.

X

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