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I know exactly what you mean…I had exactly the same text from my son the other day…he isnt quite nineteen yet but i have had this for three years,,All the time feeling like he only calls or texts if he wants something..I have brought him stuff and he has pawned it. The other day he moved into another flat and asked for my help to kit it out (even though only forty eight hours before he was calling me for everything) ..I refused to help..Not because im a bad mother…cause im not sleeping currently off work with depression…because i simply cant take anymore…Im worn out with it all..My son is an expert at emotional blackmail and for ages i let him do it but not anymore…Im entitled to a quality of life also…the same as you are…these are not our choices xx
Love is love ….dont matter who it is when its true it becomes unconditional…but sometimes you just have to start thinking of yourself and other members of your family…I too wish there was a support group I have nothing in my local town and I too have battled this alone,,,This site is a god send and strange how you become close to people you dont know…its a relief to not feel alone…although at the same time you would nt wish this on anyone..Hope ur coping ok…stay strong i know how difficult it is xx
Hi Lucy….Im going through a very similar situation with my son…our relationship has been strained for a long while ..thanks also to alcohol and drugs and lies and deceit and abuse….I too have come to the end of my tether and am also going through that grieving process but also have other children who need me to be strong…I cant allow him to consume their time…I know how ur feeling though xx
Yeah I Know what u mean my son has done exactly the same to me have used savings, wages overdraft am currently off work with anxiety and depression. Im adament he is not going to make me struggle for money anymore…I would nt mind if he was appreciative and respectful but dont matter what i try i just get abuse..It drains me…haven t heard a thing from him since sunday am mixed between worry and how peaceful it is
Hi dont beat yourself up!!! Ive done this and had the same responses from my son..Exactly the same scanario. Only my son doesnt live with me over a week ago now i fell into the same trap, I transferred twenty pound to his account for food he claimed he was overdrawn and it got swallowed so i sent more then the following day i caught him blowing twenty pound in the bookies and had the audacity to call me a fxxxxing sxxt mother and he was gonna top himself because i would nt replace it. All of this said in front of his three year old brother…I walked off and left him to it…The next thing is his police support officer is bringing him to my home to eat and shower which i allowed he then went off and told his probation officer a wonderful sob story about what a terrible mother I am and how I allow his stepfather to take drugs but dont support him and have left him homeless and without food(This is complete rubbish) I get a barrage of abusive texts calling me for everything and then two days later have his boxing manager call me to hand over money to put him in a B and B for four days until he gets given a new flat as he is sleeping rough, bearing in mind he had his benefits the day before and blew every penny..I refused A) because i simply cant afford it he has bled me dry andB) I felt if he had to rough it it might open his eyes to sorting himself out…tough love..was probably harder on me than on him…I felt dreadful but low and behold he pulls the wool over his boxing managers eyes and they pay for it and now im the most diabolical mother in the world to them and him…I simply cant win
Can you not go to his doctor with him? Has he had councilling before and did it help? I know what your saying about making him homeless its the hardest thing in the world to do..I had to do it with my son because he had a toddler brother at home and I would nt have him growing up thinking that its acceptable. My son though would nt accept help or even try so I had to make the choice to be hard with him..It is his choice to take drugs and do what he does but its not mine and I dont want to live like that or have it around me. I hope he agrees to some help but be firm and make sure he sticks to it…You have a life too…I do check on here most days so if you need to talk or rant im here Good luck
Hi…Im also relatively new to this site. People on here are very supportive it must be just due to the bank holiday weekend
My eighteen year old son is taking drugs, alcohol and gambling… I too didnt tell people at first but it started to impact on my health, my job and other relationships…I know its difficult but you have to stop covering for him,,
I really think you should give him some choices, maybe others will advise differently but twelve year olds are not daft and very quickly learn a lot more than you think.
My ex husband was drinking heavily when my boys were growing up and was violent and aggressive I wish I had left him sooner my son was ten when i did leave and now he is following the same path but worse…Please give him an ultimatum for your own sanity and for your daughters future. I am going through a hell of a time with my son. your gonna need to be really strong x x
Hi my heart goes out to you …I only have one of my children taking drugs i could nt imagine how much pressure i wpold feel if the others were the same…Firstly and most important though is yourself you need to take care of yourself because u seriously need to get some advice regarding your grandchildren before they end up taking the same path or at the very least stay strong so they have got someone stable to turn to…Unfortunately i had to evict my son as I have a toddler at home…they shared a bedroom and I was terrified my eldest was either going to drop something that the toddler would pick up or worse…I will not under any circumstances allow any of my other children or other members of the household being put at risk. Im not for one minute suggesting u evict them but you seriously need to set some ground rules for what you expect after all its your home…u pay the bills
Hi …I too have had this time and time again with my son i feel like i dont know him any more,,Ive heard all the apolgies…sorry for letting u down, i love u mum dont know where i would be without u…to be closely followed by could i borrow x amount I have heard an array of reasons ive lost my phone…I owe a mate….I have no food… Im clean now etc etc….I too fear my sons capabilities he literally grabbed my arm and pulled me all the way through his flat a few weeks ago and shoved me flying out of his door because i caught him in a lie over him being clean…Today I have had a terrible day with him…threatening suicide because i wont give him cash so i understand fully what u are going through ….And i suppose like me your being called a shit mother???excuse my french but they are enough to make a saint swear at times…were not sxxx mothers…they have a sxxxt lifestyle and sxxx so called mates….stay strong xxx
Well done you!!! wish i could do the same problem I have is my son is very secretive this may sound bizarre but i have never met any of his mates …he keeps everything password protected dont tell me friends names where they live nothing he is a nightmare he too is violent and verbally abusive when under the influence..Hope it works for you but sadly i dont think it will..they run in clicks and are very good at covering for each other..fingers crossed for you though x