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@mammyessex – you truly can’t make it up can you, they say in life if you have not completed one life lesson, it will continue to repeat until its resolved and you’ve learnt from it, I believe this to be true.
I still grieve from the loss, I have complex ptsd, which stems from my first ever relationship, this happening aswell contributed to it, now I’m going through more again,
I did have a chat last night with him, ultimatums had to be said and made, offers of help and support have been accepted, gp appointment this week which I will attend to support him,
I can’t get my head around how powerful this powder is, it’s like a walking apocalypse in honesty, destroys and ends all that is good,
The only way is to accept the help advice and support, focus on “your reasons why” in life to pull you through
Awful what you have been through, so sorry!!
Hi all, I’m very new to this platform, I’ve searched for some support
Reading your post @hopelesscharlie
Resonated with me, as if this were my boyfriend speaking those words – what I expect him to be thinking…
We’ve been friends for 9 years, and a year into a relationship.
My fiancé passed away 3 years ago with the cause of death being- cocaine toxicity..I had 2 children aged 5 and 11 from previous relationship who we raised together, and I was 5 months pregnant when he passed away suddenly from a heart attack..in a house party with friends we had been engaged just 3 weeks also…
My life ripped upside down inside out, I had no clue he was taking drugs, very clever hiding his other life..alcohol I knew was a problem but felt with my support he was working through it.
My daughter is 4 now, she just knows her dad had a bad heart..and had to be an angel..
Now..my current partner *which took all my strength and faith to have a relationship again* trusted him more than anyone else..has been the perfect partner and dad to children..raising the 4 year old.. and thinks of him as her father.. he had a family loss last year which he has struggled with greatly, but I’ve been giving him time love and support through it, he abuses alcohol history of cocaine many years ago.. now the last 3 months the patterns have appeared that I missed with late partner,
I cannot believe I’m now in the same situation, as partner I just want honesty, trust and respect, which I’m sure your girl wants too, basic human elements of a relationship, I can’t dictate I know how you feel with this addiction, however this one is going to cost you greatly,
Speak to her, write a letter first if need be, to get what you want to offload to her, tell her you love and respect her and that you have to be honest, advise if you are willing to accept and receive help and support from various sources, create that tight circle of people for support.
Stick to that net of people until your strength is up again,
My partner is still out from the weekend from popping home briefly, thankfully my children none the wiser of the great concern, washing work trousers “baggies” found, which I recognise why and what they are, evidence of a big alcohol binge in a bag, and how his behaviour and words have been towards me.
I’m willing to support and guide him if he will accept the help and be honest, if he doesn’t want any of this or won’t, I will have to walk away not only for my sake but my children, we have already been through enough.
I feel I must attract people with additions low self esteem, not just partners but friends, it’s very draining, I’m losing myself, don’t feel very happy anymore, paranoid with the lies said to me, self critical, alone and worthless…this is how my addict partner is making me feel, when I know the truth..he just hasn’t told me..
I really wish you the best of luck, you’ve got everything to lose by not accepting and confronting, everything to gain by just being honest
Stay safe x