Hi, its very understandable to hear that you feeling lost and sad after everything that has happened.
You connected with him on such a close emotional level but sometimes people have to let go, as we become enablers and get dragged down in their worlds. Eventually you have to get off a sinking ship if its not going to get back to functioning right.
I find the lies very hurtful too, as trust is gone, its ruined my trust in others and I’m unable to find any other relationship because of this.
You gone through a very difficult time and hopefully now in a new chapter of your life.
You probably could do with some professional support to help you long term with processing what has happened. I didn’t get professional help and it has affected my personality and confidence.
You were obviously there for him but it wasn’t right for him or you, chapter closed, create your own new ending. Take care x