Hi doire , well done for posting & well done for recognising you want to get better . My advice is defo do the meetings as many as you can as they help so much , they are available in all areas everyday / evenings or online . The speakers in these meeting are amazing they tell you there stories of where they was. , what they have been thru & tell you how they got to clean & where they are now . It will give you the skills to get better