[danman83]

This is exactly what a come down does to you and sadly can lead to suicide. Me and my mate from the CA meeting was talking yesturday how it kills so many people. But it’s not from over dose, but from suicide because what it does to you mentally.

That’s just going to happen all the time I’m afraid.. Its the same for most addicts. They know what the end results are but that 20 mins of high, seems to make it seem better. When that’s far from the truth. Its just a vicious circle. He really needs just to think and tell him self I’ve had enough that’s it now.

[danman83]

Just spend as much time together as you can. You will both need each other❤️.

Its 100 percent not his fault. Sometimes we just get stuck in hole and its hard to get out of.

Your right it is an illness and alot of people don’t see this.

My ex gf who I have kids with, her 21 year old cousin did the same, and his mum, well she found him aswell. And seeing the pain on there faces was heart breaking. And that will stay with me.

Sending lots of love x

[danman83]

Hiya kate, I hope your OK today? How are you coping. I know it’s a daft question but just checking in on you x

[danman83]

I didnt mean the exclamation mark.. Lol

[danman83]

I got kicked out in May, and I’m in a shared accom. My mum wants me go back hers but I don’t want to live with my dad, I actually feel happier now I’m clean and not with my ex as our relationship was toxic. Both of us was not perfect.

Even she had that stuff the other week and begged me to go down hers because she was on a bad come down. I’m just glad I’m not like that for today.

And I struggled getting somewere coz of covid that’s why I am here.

So does he want to stop at all?

Or is he happy just doing this now!

[danman83]

No because I lived with my ex at the time, and I needed to be with some one or you just go worse because of the come down.

There’s nothing worse than being on a come down on your own. So it helped me personally being with someone. Hope this helps

[danman83]

The lies come with the addiction, they come with every addiction.

I guess you will have to go with your gut instinct if u think he is cheating.

Just do what’s best for your now. He needs to want to get better for himself.

The lies will just roll off now aswell. That’s why now when I work the 12 steps I. Have to live an honest life or do my best, and lying is a big no no.. As this can lead to using.

[danman83]

Yes I remember are convos, thank you so much kat for your kind words, it means a lot and helps me in my recovery thanks.

Hows your bf now?

[danman83]

He literally needs to cut off everyone and work on himself. It’s just never going to end for him. It’s a shame about his friend, and the sad thing is sometimes this is enough for us to stop and it should be.

[danman83]

To be honest I shouldn’t be mentioning the cheating because that could upset you if it’s not true.

It’s just a seedy drug and makes you do things u normally wouldn’t do. And you do a lot of sneaking around ect..

Just sit him down and have a nice quiet word ect.. And say will he do a test just to give you piece of mind and you won’t mention it again. If he says no he obviously is using.

[danman83]

Little things like this will show you he is. It’s not just a coincidence, that’s what I beleive anyway.

Always here if you need to talk ❤️x

[danman83]

I’m not to sure what it’s like, but I guess it’s simple and cheap. U can get off ebay and amazon I think.

If you have a guy feeling and he is acting differently then there is something not right. It doesn’t have to be gurning but if his mouth is different or facial expressions then it is something. Gurning happens alot with extasy. Don’t know how to spell that lol.

It depend when he is using effects his eating and sleeping. Do you think he is using in the house? Some signs.. Going toilet alot using.. Sniffing, runny nose. Staying up late on his own.

It also causes alot of porn use and cheating. Sorry to tell u this but I’m being honest.

[danman83]

I was replying notmyrealname Kate. Sorry for the confusion. X

[danman83]

They say when you try to get clean you need to avoid relationships for a year or dating as this can lead to using. I’ve been on a few days and not drank or out. But I still shouldn’t be really.

My relationship was toxic aswell, and I used on that. She was quite aggressive and sometimes I think she was happy when I relapsed then I couldn’t be better and more out going and keep me in the house.

That would be great helping others he will be so proud of you am I’m sure of that. You really will be someone’s help, even if it’s just one person. You have helped me already.

Such a shame about his little girl. No little girl should be left with out her daddy but he will be with her looking after her ❤️

And you did what all mothers do and have done what my mum has done with me and helped him the best you can. I’ve lost a lot of friends from suicide and its heartbreaking for everyone. Just try and connect with people daily family and friends to help you.

I wish I could be there to give you a hug ❤️ keep spreading your story it will help everyone and don’t give up Kate ❤️❤️????????

[danman83]

Kate i am so sorry for your loss, I can’t believe you have had to go through this. No mother should see this happen. I hope you are getting enough support off family❤️❤️.

You did make the right decision Kate in support because if it was tough love and this happend you would never of forgiven your self. Because that’s how parents think on tough decisions. But u made the right decision and was there for him as a mother should be.

When the coke is wearing off that’s when the depression kicks in and suicidal thoughts. I’m not gonna lie it’s not nice you just feel really down, and there is no ill feelings towards parents or anything so plz don’t think for a minute he will be thinking this. It’s just feelings of sick of everything but it’s multiplied because of the coke.

I don’t know if you know how it works but I’ll explain. So your brain produces dopamine, these are they happy thoughts, we have them when we go swimming, or talk to friends, or something fun.. But when we use coke it literally uses them all up, hence the big rush of feeling good. But when the coke has gone, your brain needs to produce more dopamine but can take a few days… So this is when u come crashing down and everything is just negative. That’s the best way I can describe it.

I don’t know his situation, but he might of been on a bad come down and done this. But I don’t know the full situation. My friend did the same back in May. It ruins people’s life’s this stuff. I was gutted to hear about him.

Quite a few people I know have this year sadly passed away from coke this year.

Also the steroids would not of helped they mess with your emotions so much and would of contributed to this. It will help me so much this what you have told me, and I will pass this message on. Try and stay here as well and share your story as well you will help so many parents and addicts in your situation Kate. But that’s up to you. There is a good book I read, called.. Mum can you lend me 20quid.. A woman lost her son through heroin and its about that and coming to terms. She does alot of charity work now aswell.

Also Kate I just want to say, as parents we think is it our fault? Could I have done something different? I don’t know what you are thinking. But you did the best you could. When this drug gets you it’s hard to get out of, and the people we associate it with.

My mum checks on me every day because she is worried. So I’ll cherish my moments more now.

I am always here Kate if you want to talk, I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I’m sure he is still with you looking out for you ❤️stay strong❤️ xxx

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