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Thank you for that.
Yes there is always true self there and deep down he probably will hate what coke has done to him and his family.
It’s probably a weird comparison this but it is what has just come to my head, it’s like being possessed by an evil spirit and there is some of you still left and still good in you and it’s hard to break through if this makes sence.
It’s like having a devil and angel on your shoulder all the time
Everyone says this. Do this.. Don’t do that.. Ect..
Well I’m coming up to 3 months clean now, I meditate twice a day, I pray morning and bedtime. I eat healthy to get my nutrients for a healthy brain. And I feel great now I really do. I feel so happy. Don’t get me wrong I have my bad days. All my negative thinking has gone. I use think of the worse case scenario in my head.
The 1st few weeks of recovery are hard. You need to totally change your life around. Cut everyone off. Get anew number. Come off all social media. And get any negative people out of your life. I hope this helps. Ask me anything you want. I’m here to help.
Hey there nick, I hope your OK.
I have a cocaine addiction I am over 80 days clean now. And I have been doing my best to quit for years and I finnaly found cocaine anonymous and I have now found the best way to stop and it’s helping me alot.
Anyways… I am 99 percent certain it’s cocaine your husband has a coke problem, and the main reason, the lack of eye Contact when he is using. The minute I looked at my ex gf she new I was on it! You can’t concentrate on someone with out them looking at you and your thinking… Can she see if I’m high. And he will be agitated that he does not want to get caught. His mouth moving funny is called gurning, which happens alot. The bag aswell.. He’s definitely on coke. But it doesn’t smell like tooth paste and you hardly get it in tinfoil but I guess some dealers are different.
All you need to do is go the chemist buy a wee drug testing kit and ask him to take it. If he refused there’s your answer.
Also cocaine has a few really bad side effects and the main one. When you run out. For example I have just had my last line of cocaine, with in 20 mins u want more and more. And then you go into depression and feel suicidal.it messes with your dopamine levels in your brain. I’ve lost a few friends from suicide from come downs from come.
You can feel depressed for days on it. Then Friday comes and it’s back using. It’s a big vicious circle.
Some tell tale signs.. If you think he is using or on it. He won’t want to eat at all. Asleep for long periods of time when not using. Maybe going bed at 6am and not up till late. Alcohol is a big trigger for coke. If he’s drinking he will get cocaine.
Just pull him on it.
Now how to stop. 1st off you can not tell him you want him to stop.
He needs to want to for himself.
No 1 else. He needs stop drinking, cut all mates off, pubs, clubs, and change his life around. And go to CA. I hope this helps. Feel free to message me anytime
Hiya lece, hope your OK.
I hate to admit it but I’m in the same situation. But I’ve not used coke for 83 days now I think. And I go see my kids everyday no matter what..
I’ve not been with my ex for 4 month since she kicked me out but I do go round, and try and cuddle her and touch her. And we had sex the other week.
It’s obvious he still loves you and its hard to let go.
To me it just sounds like the coke is not making him make sound decisions if that makes sence.
He probably don’t know what he wants. And when the coke is wearing off and he’s on a come down, I think he could be thinking he hates being on is own and misses u and the kids.. The coke will be coming 1st that’s a fact.
I guess you won’t see the real him untill he quits.
I hope. I. Answered that ok lol.
Feel free to ask me anything.
He seems like he has a lot going on, and he could be hiding how much he owes ect.. Its just a vicious circle what it does.
I really do hope he takea your advice.
What’s cheddar gorge? Lol
You to mate x
Hiya mj I hope your OK.
I’ve got a cocaine addiction. But I’m now 81 days clean after joining cocaine annonymous. And I’m working the 12 steps. I’ve bed doing my best to stop for years. But this programme works.
My gf kicked me out 4 month ago after relapsing and I lost it all. But im getting there.
Anyway… So cocaine is a big sleezy drug, it makes you cheat, and so seedy things. I don’t really want to be telling you this but I need to be honest. What I tell you can not be for everyone but most I speak to have done the same.
It makes you go on escort sites, meeting escorts or massage parlours all while on coke, driving there drunk and using. It makes you cheat, join dating sites and hide things..
It is a sleezy drug.
But also the user would never do this if they ever got on cocaine.. Its a terrible drug and makes you do things u would not normally do.
I hope this helps. Feel free to ask me. Anything
I can imagine it is heartbreaking for you. I’ve seen what it did to my ex. But she used the odd time aswell. But it’s all the lies and dishonesty that comes with addiction is horrible.
All I can suggest is to keep communicating with people in your situation and talk to family members. It really does help talking to someone. And maybe go out with friends to take your mind away from things. I know it’s easier said than done. But you deserve to be happy.
Hiya herbie, I hope your OK.
Really sorry to hear your situation. It’s must be horrible for you. None of his drinking is your fault for a start.
You deserve better than this and if he is not prepared to get help then you need to look up other options. You don’t need or deserve this mental and verbal abuse from him.
I don’t know your situation, like are u married, is it your home aswell ect.. And I know how hard it is financially being on your own.
So if you are married and own the home. Can you not threaten him with divorce and sell up and go your own way ect..
If you don’t own it and have no money ect.. Just try and save up in the mean time. But I don’t know your situation so I’d do what’s best for you
And your mental health should be at the very top. And you need to be happy, and pardon my French.. you should not put up with his shit any longer. ❤️
Yes your right you need to think of your mental health.
I know you care about him but there is only so much u can do. And it’s hard watching sone one do this to themselves and not being able to help.
But your mental health comes 1st.
Ive just signed up to another gym I felt shit theseast 2 weeks because I’ve been off work. But feeling good now. And I’m looking forward to getting back in.
So is he not working at all now? Me personally I’d prefer to work and keep busy.
Yes I’m definitely feeling good mate thanks for this.
Have a great time in Somerset ❤️
None of his using is your fault at all. So plz don’t be thinking this. It’s easy for an addict to blame other people when the problems lies within.
It sounds like he’s doesn’t know what he wants. And that could be the coke.. 1 minute he’s up the. Next down.
Ili went to a C. A meeting last night and there was some great shares. A man shared who was 19 years clean, and this is true what he shared.. That he’s been doing the programme for 19 years and you can not put it down. You have to do it daily. Pray, meditate, connect with 2 to 3 people daily, go to meetings and live an honest life. And the rewards are great. You feel so much happier and content.
And it’s true.
If you do things like miss meditation, prayers, skip meetings, you will lead to relapse. If we work the programme each day we become a better person.
And all this takes up.. What 80 mins a day if u do a meeting.. All free of charge. You feel happy, your a better human being and its a better way of life. It works if you work it.
So he really needs to be doing this each day if he wants to stay clean.
But also no matter how upsetting this is for you, you need your time and you need to think of your health. This has a big effect on family members and you need to think of yourself aswell.
Hey there. How have you been?
I’m glad he is finally going to sort himself out and admitting he is powerless over it. It’s the best thing for him. I can tell how much you care for him and you are such a good friend to him. Not many people would stick around and watch this happen.
I really hope he sticks to his plan and its just not the come down talk of.. I’m gonna go rehab and get better, and I don’t mean that in a bad way.
I’ve been there and done it myself.
Your right he does need to work on himself. And then everything will fall into place. My mum texts me every morn with out fail at 6am. Although it winds me up lol its just to show she cares.
Hi there, really sorry to read your story. Cocaine ruins family’s a hell of a lot aswell. I’m something like 76 days clean today from coke. And I got 4mth clean before that.
My ex kicked me out May 5th because I relapsed and said some horrible things. We get on now and it was a toxic relationship anyway.
I can see how much you love your husband and watching him slip away to this deadly disease, and addiction. It’s horrible how it grips certain people. I joined ca anonymous and its helped me so much. I recommend he join ASAP if he hasn’t.
I don’t know the ins and out of his addiction and your relationship, but what I do know is time is a great healer. Spend it with people that love and care about you. Family members if you can. Do things with your kids and make good memories. Talk to get things off your chest as well. I meditate and that helps.
None of this was your fault aswell. We as addicts make our own choices.
Your husband needs to want to quit for himself and cut everything off to do with cocaine. Does he want to stop?
But just think of your self now and your mental health. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything.