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Hiya wee gem hope your OK. I’m 5 month and a week clean from cocaine now. I’ve got my best clean time in 12 years of using. I joined cocaine anonymous, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. But he has to want to quit for himself, basically hit his rock bottom and he is ready to quit, na she’s had enough. You can never force him as it won’t work.
Has he looked into this? There are meetings in every area face to face and on zoom online.
Also he needs to delete all mates and family’s, dealers numbers to do with coke.or get a new aim card.
He needs to come off social media if possible. Also set some goals, no alcohol as well, do some new hobbies, eat healthy, try the gym or walks. It’s about changing his routine a round and implementing good things in his life.
Feel free to ask me anything
Hiya mate. I’m 5 month clean from cocaine now. Your story is same to mine. Going out and using. 10 years later addict using on your own.
My best advice and what has worked for me is 1st off be honest with your partner tell her what you are doing if she doesn’t know. Otherwise it’s gonna be lie after lie. Which is not good in recovery. Then get your arse to a cocaine anonymous meeting and get a sponsor work the 12 steps and be honest. Change your life around cut people off, get a new sim card. Come off all social media. I would never of got this far clean without ca. Plus u can’t drink ever again aswell. No. Drugs what so ever.
I promise you hand on heart you will get better if u join. You make loads of clean friends and will get the help you need. Download zoom and go on ca website and you can do zoom meetings aswell. Do them every day.
Don’t be put off by ca regarding god and that. It’s not all about god.
And to be honest I get on my knees day and night and pray to God.
And it keeps me clean. It’s better than putting that crap in to.
Just get it sorted today mate. Ignore your head saying don’t bother ect… Your addict brain is so clever it does not want you to get better. It wants you to all its self.
You got this mate. Just believe in yourself
Hiya Debbie hope your OK. Only just read the last few of these comments because there seems to be loads. I’m over month clean now from coke. And your going on about his lies ect.. That’s part and parcel of being a addict. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re lying. Then there are lies that are just pointless lies.
He can give u so many reasons why he’s going to stop ect.. I did.. My 2nd kid was born.. Gonna.stop.. 7 years later my boy was born.. Gonna stop. Never happens. We will never stop for anyone. The only thing that will stop us or help us if we have enough pain. Meaning are rock bottom. And that’s it, I’ve had enough of this crap mentality.
There are women in the c.a meetings all nice woman, and have had there kids took off them. We can’t stop for our kids.
And this is the frightening thing about this drug.
I had a few rock bottoms, 1 example I used in my house alone when kids were in bed and gf. Litrally when my bag was empty and nothing left.. I was crying, it’s a horrible feeling, it sends u suicide and depressed for weeks.
So I joined cocaine anonymous last year. I’ve had 3 month and 4 month and a few months here and there. But I’m now over 4 month and 10 days off my best clean time in 12 year.
So In C. A you get a sponsor work the 12 steps, and you change your life around. One of the things is I cant lie.. Lying leads to using. I cut old friends off for good. They are not real mates. I’ve got new mates now all clean and I trust.
I lead a honest life. I work for the Bank mon to fri.. But Sundays I now do care work which is rewarding and helps me. I can’t drink anymore. I meditate. I’m a better dad. I feel so much happier now.
I compare it to.. When your at school and not a worry in the world. That good feeling. I feel like that and I have my life back. But I am. Not cured. I have to do this program the rest of my life. I can go into more detail if your husband wants to stop
Does he??
If he does not and its effecting you and your mental health, and financial health. Do u really want to keep putting up with that.. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything. Just making my tea so it’s a bit rushed.. Sorry
OK will do
OK good look. Remember you have your own life as well. So try and enjoy it x
Sue also if u can. Read a book called… Mum can you lend me 20 quid?
It’s a true story by and English woman, who had twin boys, all had grammar education, she was teacher, and they turned to heroin ect.. But it’s from the mums point of view. I won’t tell u too much about it. But the mum now does a lot of charity work with addiction.
But this will give u a better understanding what to do in your situation. It’s a great read. And will help you. Well I think it will.
Thanks. For that lindy. Really happy for you both.
I bet he eats very well I eat loads now haha.
Good to hear from you.
The anxious and stress will come. And go. I guess he can meditate on it. And is a lot stronger now.
X
OK thanks for that. If he downloads zoom, he can do online meetings, they are on all day everyday starting from 7.30 am. The meetings are on the c.a website. I can send u a link if he decides he wants to.
There are doctors in the meetings with coke addiction, it effects all walks of life. Hope this helps
There is a lot of talk about God. And that. But it’s not a religious programme. Its a spiritual one. You have to lead a honest life, no lying, I don’t litter, be kind and helpful. Pray each morn and night. To your own higher power.
Basically we admit we are powerless over are addiction. We can’t stop on our own. So we ask for our higher power to help us each day. And it does work. Its about having a good routine in your life. Meditate is a must as well each day. This helps so much.
People are just stuck in a rut and in the same routine of using and we need to implement good things in our life and get rid of the bad. Sounds daft about what I’ve said. But it works.
No not at all. You need to have your own higher power. Mine is god and the law of attraction. Basically I believe how u treat people you get that back. Like karma. Good energy and the universe. Some people have there dead parents ect.. But u need to pray every morning and night and ask for.the strength to beat this addiction ect.. It can be off putting at 1st. But I’m on my knees morning and night praying. And I’m 4 month clean. It depends how bad how u want this. Praying is free as well lol
Hey lindyloo, good to hear your son is 10 month clean. So happy for him and you! I bet he feels great now and I bet you sleep easier at night. Soo good to hear this ????❤️
Hiya sue I hope your OK.
I’m 4 month clean from coke and alcohol. I was never really bad on alcohol but I admit now I’m an alcoholic.
I take it he went rehab for 6 week?
Did he do a A. A programme while away. Because it looks like he just came out and put the programme down and just got back to his usual self.
May be he needs go for longer, but also he definitely needs to join alcoholics anonymous, and work the 12 steps. Has he done this already?.
It’s a hard one this sue because. You can use tough love and kick him out and say I can’t cope anymore. Then if something happens to him along the line you might blame yourself. But It won’t be your fault. This is just how we think.
Or you put your foot down now and tell him he has 1 last chance he gets the help. And you make sure u can see he is putting the effort in. And if he doesn’t then tell him he needs to move out. You have to think of your own health as well. I have to go out now. Do ill come back later when u reply.
Hiya curly girl hope your OK,
Reading this is just like how i use to be except for the alcohol each day.
1st off I am now clean of coke and alcohol for over 4 month now.
I used coke once a week to every few week. I just had enough I lost my gf and kids, it sent me suicidal for days, my friends have killed them self’s on coke. Its just horrible.
It’s a typical addict thinking. It’s the weekend, it’s Easter, it this and that. It’s his addict brain having him over. I very much he is on coke twice a month as well but I could be wrong. Having alcohol is a big trigger to get cocaine. And this is for most. So if he’s drinking each day I recon he is having it more. But I could be wrong.
He will only stop. If he admits he has a problem and he hits his rock bottom. You can’t force him to.
But he needs to get to some meetings, and work a 12 step programme or rehab. Doing the cocaine anonymous programme helps so much and addresses underlying issues. He’s just stuck In a bad way and needs belief. I just need to nip out so can’t explain the best I can now. Sorry
Hiya anonymous girl, I’m Danny and I’m over 4 month clean from cocaine now and alcohol. I was never a bad drinker or I’d say alcoholic but I have had to admit I am an alcoholic as well. As it comes hand in hand.
Just reading your story I get a lot from it and seen it with loads of people. So I joined cocaine anonymous and I work a 12 step programme. And it’s keeping me clean..
There are some keys things in your story that stand out.. Since 12 you have had a strange relationship with alcohol, also your not that bad to wear u drink every day.
1st of you can be an addict if u use once a week or alcoholic. If I said to you now go 2 month without it. Do u think u could? Prob not but I don’t know you. Plus this relationship since 12. That just sounds like a alcoholic talking. Alot of drinking and drugs using is caused by childhood trauma.
This can be summat small from, bullying, not liking how we look, a death, then to big things like abuse.
So if you go to cocaine anonymous or alcoholics annonymous and work a 12 step programme. And get a sponsor we address these under lying issues and it helps.
Also you now need to change your daily routeing now, cut all friends out u drink with. Or don’t go with them when they drink, do some new hobbies, eat healthy. Get to some meetings. Plenty of meditation.
All this will sound weird but I am telling u now this helps.
What u learn in C. A and A. A is us addicts have an allergy to drink and drugs we’re people u know can have 1 drink and go home. Me and you have to have more and more till there’s nothing left. This is called an allergy in the book we learn.
So my opinion is admit your an alcoholic, get the help and cut people off, work on your self, admit you can’t drink again. I promise you this, your life will be so much better with out drink. You will feel alot happier and it will go well for you. Just put the effort in and it will work.
But if u don’t admit u are an alcoholic and u want help, you are always gonna be like this. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything
Ye course. I’ll try and find her