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I’m no were near cured lol, so mine is nowhere near a miracle. This is the 2nd time in 11 year I have got to 3 month. I relapsed on 3 month last time. So its really important I keep reaching out now and go to the meetings. Or I will relapse.
I read a book by Alan Charles he was addicted to coke for24 years, had a really bad experience, and he over come it. Some people go to rehab 20 times before they have fully quit. And if u go to the meetings so many people have numerous years clean time. I guess everyone is just different.
Your husband giving you his card doesn’t mean nothing really, I think he is just giving piece of mind to you. He can just go his dealers and say give me some on lay. And they do. They will give hundreds on lay if they know u will pay.
I know exactly what u mean with no 1 cares, when my mum found out she was texting me every day, checking on me then it just stopped. I guess they have there own shit to deal with.
Have u heard out from him?
Hope you are OK?
I literally have just drove past an old dealer and he said hiya dan. I just beeped and carried on driving.
I didn’t want to pick up. But I was thinking about coke then, and past experiences when I got it off him. This is obviously triggering it. I’m at home now and I’m just gonna say a little prayer to take away these thoughts and fears. The old me would of stopped and ask has he any.
I can listen to dance music and it makes me want to use sometimes so I understand we’re u are coming from. Me personally I’d just suggest it to him, do you think you should listen to this? I wouldn’t say I don’t want you to. As he can just think.. She don’t want me do anything anymore. That’s my opinion. But u do what u think is best. I can understand if you say you ain’t going that friends, you are not drinking, and so on.. But if its just a music video I’d just suggest this will be a trigger, acknowledge it and try and avoid them please.
Sometimes we think we are being controlled when we are not, you just care. And use it as an excuse to use. That’s just my opinion but you do what u think is best for the both of you. I could be wrong. So please don’t think I’m being funny lol
I’m exactly the same, some one close to my son does stuff with coke. I can’t really say much more. So I can’t go to certain places.
To be honest moving will do no good unless u want to anyway. I always compare it to the film poltergeist, we’re they try and move to get away from the poltergeist, but the spiritual Indian guy says.. They will just follow you its best to stay at home and beat it as a family. Stupid comparrsion but it’s true. The next town will sell coke and so on. Its so easy to get. My sons 17 year old friends sell it on snap chat putting picture of it on line.
It’s about limiting as many possible ways of getting it.
Yes your right. You will never be OK from it. The seed is planted now. But then again why would u want to go back to these situations we’re u get tested.
It’s not a bad thing checking on on him, it’s a good thing and it shows you care.
Exactly, and your right. I’ve done my step 4 tonight with my sponsor and I feel a lot better. I’ve got to do my fears now. What I fear, and why. And I have a chart on paper and I have to write it all down.
Things like public speaking, fear of relapse, fear Of failure. These are just some I can think of. Then when I finish I have to pray to take away my fears. They say this is a great moment in the 12 step programme. And it helps us get rid of things that build up inside, and we use these fears as an excuse to use. It’s like councilling lol but I can feel it working. I’m going on now haha.
Thank you so much ????❤️
Ye that’s not good at all dragging you out of the bed while your asleep. That’s a big problem and something not right there.
Do you think his anger is an underlying problem from childhood or something like this?
Or the coke and alcohol just makes him like this?
I know everyone is different.and it effects people different.
Did you say he has weed aswell? I use have weed in my teenage years and I punched holes in walls at my mum n dad’s. That’s stuff sent me phycho lol.
Don’t touch it now.
You can drink so much on coke, and just be level headed sort of. You never ever get pissed really. Addiction takes you to many dark places, I used mostly when my kids was in the house. I’m not proud of myself, I use to do it going out but when that stopped my addiction stayed with me on my own.
I’m glad your happy now then. I hope you both get through it together ❤️????
Ye that’s not good at all dragging you out of the bed while your asleep. That’s a big problem and something not right there.
Do you think his anger is an underlying problem from childhood or something like this?
Or the coke and alcohol just makes him like this?
I know everyone is different.and it effects people different.
Did you say he has weed aswell? I use have weed in my teenage years and I punched holes in walls at my mum n dad’s. That’s stuff sent me phycho lol.
Don’t touch it now.
You can drink so much on coke, and just be level headed sort of. You never ever get pissed really. Addiction takes you to many dark places, I used mostly when my kids was in the house. I’m not proud of myself, I use to do it going out but when that stopped my addiction stayed with me on my own.
I’m glad your happy now then. I hope you both get through it together ❤️????
Yes your being a fool lol.
Don’t believe what he says regarding he will be OK..
His addiction controls him he doesn’t control it.
Anyways.. My problem was using it on my own. Don’t get me wrong I had it with people a lot. But I just got it on my own mainly. If he wants to stop. He needs to cut everyone off, even friends and family who use. I came off Facebook. Deleted my account and all others. You can message dealers on there, you see people and there fake happy life’s drinking cocktails… Ect.. And it just makes you want to use.
I cut a lot of people off, I don’t drive the streets where dealers live, I can’t drink anymore. Since deleting Facebook about 6 month ago. I feel happier. That’s another addiction lol.
Plus he will need start doing new activities to keep him busy, it is hard. I’ve read neally 20 books this year. The old me would of laughed my head off when some asked do I read.
The problem is with addiction and this is my opinion. We are just stuck in the same old routine day in day out. And we need to break this. Do things we never do. Have a good daily programme. Tick it off each day, each task you have set your self to do. We are so much use to drinking as a society and going friends and doing the same shit day in day out. We think there is nothing else out there. But there is, its about setting some goals, and just going for it. I’m looking foward to going, theme parks, adventure parks, canoeing and things like this. This is what I have planed when lockdown is over. I can’t say anything yet I’m only 12 weeks clean tommorow. But I can feel a little taster what it’s like. If this makes sense. It’s just getting over that 1st hurdle I guess.
A crap St Patrick’s day then lol. Well that’s good and it shows he is dedicated. When he gets a month clean in, fingers crossed he does. And even longer. He will get tested out of the blue. For instance I was 2 month clean. I found a full bag of coke out side my car coming out the gym. That never happens. I ripped it open and binned it. My gf friend came round and pulled out 5 bags of it. 2 weeks before I seen a hypnotist, then I relapsed. We bump in to people we normally never would and then end up using.
He might already know this, but just make him aware of these things when he gets a good month in, even months. He needs to be mentally prepared for these situations and have the strength just to walk away, straight away and not dwell on it.
Things like.. I can have 1 sip I’m cured now, even if its 6 month down the line. That won’t work. He will be back on it for years if that happens. Its happened to so many people. Hope this helps.
A crap St Patrick’s day then lol. Well that’s good and it shows he is dedicated. When he gets a month clean in, fingers crossed he does. And even longer. He will get tested out of the blue. For instance I was 2 month clean. I found a full bag of coke out side my car coming out the gym. That never happens. I ripped it open and binned it. My gf friend came round and pulled out 5 bags of it. 2 weeks before I seen a hypnotist, then I relapsed. We bump in to people we normally never would and then end up using.
He might already know this, but just make him aware of these things when he gets a good month in, even months. He needs to be mentally prepared for these situations and have the strength just to walk away, straight away and not dwell on it.
Things like.. I can have 1 sip I’m cured now, even if its 6 month down the line. That won’t work. He will be back on it for years if that happens. Its happened to so many people. Hope this helps.
It does sound like if he doesn’t take the piss that much, and stay out late it will be OK. I guess he needs to hit his rock bottom if he wants to stop, and he needs to make some sacrifices.
I’ve not been to a face to face meeting yet. But everyone is welcoming and we look after each other. He needs a good support network. Did he get people’s number to connect with each day?
I’m not an alcoholic and I can’t drink ever again, if I don’t want coke again. I can’t drink again. They come hand in hand. And now I have accepted it. Well done for going the meeting with him and seeing the bigger picture. I hope it works out for you both I really do.
????????
How do you mean he terrorised you? If u don’t mind me asking.
If I smell gin I want coke. That’s my trigger aswell. It’s so popular now, all the diff flavours and my gf and her mates drink it. My gf friend has coke and if she is at ours she is another trigger of mine to get coke, as she gets on it aswell. So she’s bared from drinking at ours lol.
I hope his recovery goes well. ????
Just remember though he has to do the steps for himself. So I’d suggest talk to him about it, and let him make the 1st move. But get proof at the same time lol.
If he ever wants to talk u can give him my email. But ask him 1st
But that’s entirely up to you.
I just spoke to my sponsor and we are gonna get a few from the meetings and go to go karting, and a few other things may be. We have to change pubs and bbqs to activities like this. It’s crazy how we think we can’t live without pubs, alcohol, party’s. But when I here peoples stories life is so much better without it and they have become more successful in life. Where abouts are you from?
Thanks for that. It’s 12 week this sat. But thank you ????????
Thank you for that. I really hope so. It means a lot that. Thank you ????