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Hiya hope your OK.
I’m coming up to 11 week clean from cocaine after 11 years of using. I’ve tried for years to stop but I finally joined CA anonymous and I’ve been clean since.
Anyways.. I’ll be honest he just exactly sounds like me. I was always in the toilet using on my own. I definitely couldn’t make eye contact with my gf. It makes you edgy and full of anxiety. Again I talked alway through a film. The sniffing is a major give a way.
I hid the coke in my sock. But I also hid it undersomething in the bathroom. Also look for traces of white powder on the floor as it can drop there.
Alcohol is a main trigger for coke, I can have 1 sip of beer and I’m on phone to my dealer. That’s how quick it is. I now can’t drink alcohol ever again if I don’t want coke. And I’m not even an alcoholic.
You could buy an online drug test try ebay or amazon. Ask him take it sat night see what he says. Or tell him after he has used the toilet not to flush its broke, and test it your self lol. Or just hope he doesn’t flush anyway.
Also loss of appetite when on coke no one eats on it. With his mates dealing, having drinks with them, I doubt he doesn’t do it. Its just today’s society its everywhere.
Feel free to ask me anything
That’s what comes with addiction I’m afraid, a shed load of lies and manipulation. I can imagine it is hard no one wants to see someone they love just end up like that.
How old is he? How long has he been on crack for?
That’s a lot of money blown on
that. It just goes so quick.
I know crack is just cocaine washed down, but it just seems to be so much more addictive and I’m glad I never tried it. All it takes is 1 mate to temp you to have it and thats it your hooked.
Were is your ex now BTW?
Thanks for your kind words.
Your his wife. You should of gone earlier to be honest..and I don’t mean that in a bad way.its not a bad idea at all. He’s disrespecting you. I know my gf would come hunting me down . And I definitely would of gone if it was the other way round. If it was me I’d go there now and see what the hell is happining. But it’s entirely up to I
There are loads of videos on you tube about recovery. They help me alot.
It’s probably a good idea just have a meal and have no talk about that stuff. It will just drain you both keep going on about it.
I know what your saying about shutting him out isn’t the answer. You do have to work at relationships. Plus I have thought a lot about if it was my gf doing exactly what I did? How mad I would be, would I stay with her?.
I guess I don’t know that answer until it did happen. But I would stick around as she has helped me, and took me back twice. But also I’ve been wanting to quit for years and Im always coming up with solutions to stop.
That’s all you can do try and stay positive, don’t get in a rut. Something will come up. But you need have a good think.. Do you want to be here in 5 years time in the same situation if he isn’t putting the effort in that is.
Something will just click and you will get your answer.
Thanks esta for your comments it helps me alot in my recovery.
How are you coping now with your breakup?
Just don’t be blaming me if you use my advice and it goes wrong haha. Only joking. Just go with your gut instinct that’s all I can suggest. And think of your self and child. What’s the best solution. Gut instinct always works and everything happens for a reason.
I did the same with my gf. Put her through some stuff that I’m not proud of. It just turns you into a different person.
So when did this using start? And how old was he?
He probably feels ashamed if he tells the family which I can understand, but it’s common now, really common in afraid to say.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing if you want to stay and help him. It shows you want to make it work, but he will have to put the effort in.
Maybe make him aware its not a bad thing to admit you have a problem. It’s a good thing actually. Because then we can fix it and get our life’s back. Some people are just stuck in a rut and can’t get help or want help, and don’t believe certain things will work. They just need a good push in the right direction. Has he no brothers or sisters that know or you could talk to? Don’t if it would cause problems though.
I know what you mean. It is hard. But they do say it is better to talk to some one and get it off your chest. Just try and stay positive and focus on your 6 year old for now. Try not to make your self ill.
It’s your life and its up to you want you want. But don’t let him walk all over you. He has no reason to stay in a hotel. If he wants peace, he needs go in another room of the house. For one I’d mention if he goes into another hotel again it’s over. He could be up 2 anything in there, I’m sorry for saying that but.. He could be, and you deserve better. What do your friends say about this situation?
It’s an easy way to say your controlling when all you want is a civilised conversation. My gf does that a hell of a lot with me. Even over the littlest things she says that.
What a shite excuse that is for turning to drugs. Its our own faults why we turned to them. Take no notice. Your doing the right thing with your son. What do you want out of all this if u don’t mind me asking?
To be honest I’m just giving u an idea how it was for me and with people I know, your husband could be different. Your right he could just have a little bit and go sleep. But it wouldn’t be straight away.
Loss of appetite is a major sign as well. When u are using you can’t eat anything.
I don’t blame you my gf is the same still thinking I’m trying to use. And I don’t blame you. It will take time.
Just try an focus on your son for now, don’t mean to be rude but he’s more important at this time. And with being 8 they sence things.
If he’s drinking he’s using coke, alcohol is the main trigger to get cocaine. I mean he might be telling the truth. But I doubt it.
I’ll be honest now, I think he’s taking the piss now, sorry for my language lol. But he needs to stay in a hotel and plan and drink at the same time?
He should be at home planing with his family. Its just an excuse to get on it. I don’t like saying it but lts the truth.
You need to start thinking of your self. Sorry for the harsh words but its a Wednesday, he’s in a hotel drinking and planing to sort himself. It doesn’t make sense.
I’m not to sure I understand that 1st bit.. But are you saying you think he has used because day 4 he was moody.. Then next day he’s OK?
This does happens we’re i use Saturday feel depressed for days, up to Wed or thur then am OK, then I use again Fri or Sat. Like 1 big vicious circle. But I don’t know if he has or not. Maybe you can see signs. Definitely 1 is staying up all night.
How old is your son? Lockdown has effected us all I’m feeling down and fed up.
What do u want to talk to your gp about.. Your son? Or husband? Or it all?
If he lives with you why would he go to an hotel? It doesn’t make sense at all that. If I did that my gf would tell me pack my bags lol.
I’ve seen story’s were guys just get off on coke in a hotel on there own. But I’m not saying he has done that. Has he got in touch yet?