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It’s good how you feel about him, some people don’t know how good they had it until they lose them. He should be happy your showing these feelings, but I don’t know what he’s thinking or his situation.
I know what u mean that you feel like walking away. Just do what your gut instinct tells you. If you do stay. You can’t put up with this for years if he doesn’t change. Some one else might appreciate you more and you have yourself to think about. Addicts have to fix themselves then everything else falls into place. Same with my kids. I have to think of my recovery 1st then everything else falls into place, and it is doing. Its hard explain but it just feels great with my kids now and an even better connection now am 2month clean.
I’m exactly the same everything happens for a reason. If your happy being with him, do what you thinks best. I understand when you say if you leave he will turn to crack and so on. Its just one of them crappy situations and only you can decide what’s right for you. But you have your journey and he has his. So don’t ruin your own just for some one else’s if that makes sense. I don’t want that sound bad lol.
These messages help me as well. A lot! I have message people each day in recovery who I don’t know. Its crazy. But helps. I’m always here if u want to talk.
Hiya, well ye lack of communication is one problem. As I go on the meetings I here everyone’s story’s and they all say the same thing, lack of hygiene, hiding, avoiding things, plus a lot more things but most are the same. A lot of addicts take advantage of their mums and they wouldn’t do it clean. It just makes you a horrible person. I just read a great book called ‘ mum can you lend me 20 quid’. It’s a true story by a woman who had twin boys and both turned to heroin and how one died and the effects it has on family’s. Great book.
My recovery is going great I feel so much happier, and just thinking of things to do at the weekend when lockdown is over with. Thinking of doing canoeing on sale water park lol. I need start doing things like this now I don’t drink.
I work in city centre as well. Work for the Bank. Don’t want to sayy which one on here lol. But I work in hardmam boulevard. Near spinning fields. What do u do?
That’s not good Laura lol. Hope you are well ????
I just hate talking in front of people. I have no confidence in doing it lol
Yes she is amazing for standing by me. I’m great with our kids and we are a good family unit. Just coke came in the relationship. We all say terrible things in the moment I wouldn’t worry about it.
Thing is with addiction he will know it hurts you. But he will have one thing on his mind at 1st and that’s getting coke. It takes all our sensible thinking, our spending quality times with partners, kids and family away from us and just have one thing on our mind. To get high. I’ve watched a lot of videos on cocaine addiction on you tube so many women have said they chose drugs over their kids, if coke wasnt there is imagine he would be with you everyday. It’s just what it does to you. It comes 1st. Some people don’t look after themselves hygiene wise on coke. I wasn’t like that though.
He will definitely feel guilt with cocaine. The come downs are horrendous, one bad thought after another. I can’t say what he is thinking, but I know guilt will be in there. Right at the top.
I never got in bad debt. If I owed money I paid it that week. As it will just be on my mind. My kids got everything 1st. But the money could and should of gone on my kids anyway. But I only got what I could afford.
Ramble on as much as you want. It keeps me from using talking like this ????
Hiya, hope you are well. I’m good thanks.
It never works does it really moving away, thinking our addiction won’t follow us. But it does.
So did u get him some in the end then?
Well that’s good him paying you some money back. You deserve it back. It sounds you are really good to him, some guys don’t know how lucky they are. With you saying it’s killing you him not texting, I wish my gf was like that lol.
But I guess you do need to be strong and you do need to make sure he is not using you. Why don’t you ask him out right, does he want to really make it work with you? That’s only if you want to.
But ye I’m doing great now. Over 2 months clean. I’m feeling so happy and fresh, and I’m just looking at things I can do in summer now that doesn’t involve drinking. Where abouts are you from? I’m up Manchester, Bolton.
Hiya, it’s funny you ask that because yes I did. I think twice. The 1st time was when she was pregnant(which I regret) it was after I cheated and I thought I feel happier on my own and I moved out in a friend’s house, and I used more and more. My using went worse. All this was in the space of 4 month I’d say. Then my boy was born and after a month, she had another lad round, and I couldn’t bare see her with anyone else so I moved back. The 2nd time was 2 year ago. I just had enough, moved back in my mums and got a house and I just had to wait for it to be done up. Again this was over 4 month. Again I was using more, even in my mum and dad’s house which I’m ashamed off. My using was the worse during this time.
I think I was having a mini mid life crisis even though am 37 lol. But there is a pattern here in which I noticed. I was doing my best to quit coke. And everytime I thought I’d be better on my own away from it all. When in fact it got worse. I can’t do it without my gf and kids. I’m better here. If I wasn’t here I’d be using all the time and powerless over my addiction. They was stupid mistakes. The grass ain’t always greener and I learned that. She took me back. I know stupid ain’t she.
It’s hard to explain shutting feelings out. Because I was depressed and I’m on tabs. Some mornings I’d wake up downstairs at 3am on my own and just cry. And it’s hard to tell anyone that. I didn’t know if I was depressed because I don’t know what it felt like if that makes sense.
My gf is good to me. But she has a big temper so we argue a bit and it’s hard to show her feelings as sometimes she not interested. Some people just want to forget the things they have done or doing and blank it that way. Or can just be embarrassed.
What has upset up? It’s OK if you can’t say. I undertand
Well ask away if u want? Is this your partner?
I joined CA anonymous on boxing day after 11 years of using and now I’m just over 2 month clean. I have to work the 12 steps. One is praying to a higher power, and that’s what I’ve chosen.. The universe, law of attraction, positive energy. So I get on my knees twice a day now and pray. Never thought id do this. But it helps. I just struggle speaking up in the meetings. I find it really hard ???????? lol
It was just the once, but it caused so must problems years after. But it’s OK now.
I only used on Fridays or Saturdays. So it didn’t really effect my work life. At 1st i wanted coke after I had alcohol and it got to the stage were I was craving it with out alcohol. And I had used once or twice in work. Which I regret alot. Obviously you feel really shitty at work up until Wednesday or Thursday as it makes you depressed. Then Friday comes you want to get on it again. It’s one big vicious circle. Feel free to ask me anything ????
It was just the once, but it caused so must problems years after. But it’s OK now.
I only used on Fridays or Saturdays. So it didn’t really effect my work life. At 1st i wanted coke after I had alcohol and it got to the stage were I was craving it with out alcohol. And I had used once or twice in work. Which I regret alot. Obviously you feel really shitty at work up until Wednesday or Thursday as it makes you depressed. Then Friday comes you want to get on it again. It’s one big vicious circle. Feel free to ask me anything ????
Hiya katty, I’m not going to lie to you. It does make you cheat. I have cheated and my partner knows. She has aswell, and she doesn’t do coke. But it does make you want to live dangerously if this makes sense. It makes you do things your normal self would not do.
The worst thing I’ve put her through. I guess when I cheated on her and told her when she was 7month pregnant with my boy. Her emotions must of been all over the place, and then I go and do that. I’m going back 8 years now. But it’s something I regret a lot. I just wanted get her back for what she did, but 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Plus she’s seen me saying I want to kill myself on a comedown, depressed each weekend. Things like this really.
How’s everyone doing?
Hiya Charles, hope your OK mate.
I’ve seen so many videos. Especially one by Dr gabor, who studies addiction, and he says it’s from a childhood trauma why we take drugs. I won’t go into detail. But he has plenty of videos on you tube. I’m only saying this with you saying no mum or dad. Obviously I don’t know why. But could this be a part of why she’s using? I know you could say.. But I ain’t using?.. But Every one is different. Maybe she needs get some councilling and join some meetings. What drugs is it?
I’m 2 month clean from coke now and joined CA. She also need to want to quit for her self aswell. Feel free to ask me anything
I don’t want to say on here, but some one very close to me sells it, and I’ve told them not sell it me. But they still did. So he can easily talk them round if he wanted to.
If he is using every other day it isn’t good. Mine was just weekends but sometimes in the week, but not much. I started taking sleeping tablets to not feel the come down. The minute my bag was empty and I could not get anymore, I’m not lying now but I felt like crying and my high just went. It’s all to do with dopamine levels. If you know how that works?. The meds ain’t good at all. Imagine if we are sick in our sleep. It’s game over. It’s just one big vicious circle. And I do feel for him, I don’t know him but I bet he don’t like how he is.
Pychosis is from not having sleep aswell and being up for days. It’s horrible, all this for a 20 min high. It’s mad what coke does to people.
Me personally I don’t think it’s enough just staying at his brothers. If he’s used with his brother in the past. His brother is gonna be a trigger. My gf best mate uses, and every time she’s at ours I want to use. So no one is allowed round now lol. But then again he might be OK at his bros.
I think he needs get to some meetings, and get a sponsor. Do you know how that works when you have a sponsor and work the 12 steps?
Ye course keep me updated. Talking helps me aswell. If he wants my email then get my number and he can phone me if he wants. But that’s up to him. But if he doesn’t know your on here. Don’t say out. Just leave it.