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Hiya Georgia hope your OK. Try not to stress too much with being pregnant. We both no it’s not good for you or the baby. Think of your own health and baby’s for now. I’m the same as your partner, I’m 4 week clean today. I’ve joined C A. I never thought I would. I tried stopping for my kids, ect… It never works. He has to want to quit for himself. My life is hell on that stuff. I feel so more connected with my kids, I mean I was anyway, but I feel so much happier with out it. But it’s only been 4 week. I just hope I never have it again. It sends you suicidal and depressed for days after using.
Hope your OK.
Hiya posie, hope your OK,
I’m a coke addict and I’m 4 week clean today. And now I’ve joined C A, this is my last attempt.
Your husband is definitely an addict. If you use once a month for years, you are an addict. You still fall back to the drug. He needs to want to quit for himself and admit he has a problem to see any changes in him. If he decides to stop. He needs get rid of his mates, dealers nums and quit alcohol all together, as this is a main trigger.
What are his come downs like? The next day? It sends you suicidal and depressed for days. This is my major factor for quitting. They are horrendous and what goes through your head when the coke has gone is awful.
Just ask him what’s more important the coke or you and the kids. I’ve tried quitting for years. I hate the stuff. It just grips you. And it’s hard to avoid as it is everywhere.
Feel free to ask me anything
That’s good what you have done for him. He’s lucky to have you.
Thank you for that. Let’s hope it brings us all good luck. ????????❤️
To be honest he needs to do these things like tidy his room and that. 1. It’s his bedroom and should do it anyway lol. But doing these things keeps our house in order and keeps us focused, and
motivated. I never use make my bed but every morning I do now. I get up at 4am. Normally it was 5. I get up an hour earlier to prepare for the day now, and you feel so much better. They say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. And their are apps for this that give you challenges each day, and 1 is to make your own bed. It just helps you and makes you a better person. Some people just get stuck in a rut and don’t believe in them self’s.
What’s making him mess up on the 6 week mark?
Thanks for your kind words. Means a lot ????
Hiya cath, hope your OK. I am addicted to coke I’ve tried everything to quit, and I do the same relapse after a month. But since boxing day I have been clean, I’m coming up to a month clean tommorow. I have now joined C A anonymous and I have a sponsor and I’m working the steps. I’m meditating each morning and even praying lol. I need to beat this once and for all. I feel so much stronger and happier now. I just haven’t got the confidence to speak in the meetings just yet. Has your son done any meetings?
Sorry for my late reply, I have just seen this. Well I use every few week. Seems to be on Fridays. I’ve gone months with out it, weeks, and once a week. The thing is with coke when it’s wearing off it sends your depressed and suicidal. And one day i just got really depressed when it was wearing off and suicidal and I hit my rock bottom. I seen a drug Councillor for 10 sessions, was 3 month clean then when out for a tyson fury fight to the pub thinking I was OK, and I lapsed. So it’s been back to the same since then, I was clean for 2 month at the start of the year, then went out. Its everywhere and hard to get away from.
I try many things to keep me away from it, apps, reading and other things, and this site. I came for help I think. A lot of people were supportive and they helped me stay clean, a bit of encouragement really does help. So I come on here as it helps me. And I like helping others as I’ve learned quite a bit. Sorry for the late reply again.
Well at least you are making the effort, that’s the main thing. No but I’ll give it a Google and look today thanks
Hiya, hope you are OK. I imagine this is a big shock to anyone who has never had anything to do with drugs.
I have the same problem as your husband, addicted to cocaine. My use is once every few weeks. You can use just once a month and still be an addict.
Also you would be surprised who takes cocaine and what friends and family do that you didn’t think would.
My sister works in some sort of social department and she new a Councillor who was treating a Ryan Air pilot who was a coke addict. Cocaine effects people from all walks a life. The thing is if you have a well paid job, they are the worse ones. They can buy big amounts.
Taking cocaine effects your dopamine in your brain. So basically when the coke is wearing off, it’s called a come down. This can make you feel depressed for days, even suicidal. I’ve known people who have committed and attempted suicide on this crap. I’m not going to lie to you.
I hate the stuff and I’m doing my best to quit it, I’m trying a lot of different things. The main thing to quit, is that the addict has to want to quit himself. Then delete all dealers numbers, family, friends, who also use. Come off social media, you can message people on there for drugs.
You can not have alcohol what so ever, this is a main trigger to get cocaine. If he’s clean for example 3 month down the line and he is telling you he is OK. Mark my words he is not! He will say just one drink. Don’t let him. It has to be a good year at least. Maybe never again really.
Is it easy to quit? He needs to research everything, and needs to change his routine around with new activities and healthy eating. Gym, walking, painting, decorating, anything to keep him busy.
Or he could try a rehab. But I’ve never been. I mean I would if I was using everyday for years. But you could have it in front of me now and I’d say now. Mine seems to be Fridays.
Going back to you saying you ended up in a marriage with a drug addict. No one is perfect, and it is a disease. I never believed it at 1st but its a fact. We as humans are all addicted to something, weather its a glass of wine after work, a brew in the morning ect. He will relapse as well. Its part of recovery. I’d be amazed if he didn’t.
He has done the right thing and admitted it, it’s a sneaky drug and like a devil and angel on your shoulder, shall I get some, shall I not?? Also you can get it anywhere now, you would be amazed how quick you can get it. Its a major problem in the UK now. Good luck and I hope he gets better, feel free to message me
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That’s a lot to dealers. They shouldn’t be letting it get to that much, but they usually do knowing they will pay up.
Did u give it the dealers yourself? I would of told them that’s it, anymore ticks you give him, you will not bail him out.
He shouldn’t be made to feel guilty, he should just be told its a blip, it happens in recovery and get back on track. I’m sure u can get a different sponsor. On some of them videos I’ve watched some people have had 12 rehabs, and took years, and now are 10 years clean. I guess we all have to hit our rock bottom. Some are worse than others.
Sometimes we Bury are heads in the sand after a split from an ex and just get wrecked for months even years.
There is a great app called pocket rehab for addicts and ex addicts, there is a bit like this all addicts talking about there problems. Ex addicts helping you. U have a panic button that you press if u feel like u are going to use and it puts u through to another addict or ex addict and they talk you round and help you.
They have zoom meetings everyday for addicts on there. It’s a great app.
Just see if he’s OK 1st before bringing things up to him, he might think your pressuring him. Only he can want to change. But do mention that app when you feel the time is right. But this is my opinion, you do what you feel is best for you.
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Thanks for your kind words. I know it’s hard try not to worry to much and get some sleep. I’m always here to talk to, or if you need get it off your chest. Your a good mum
I use to look at addicts and heroin addicts as scum. Never believed it was a disease. But the more I’ve learned, I don’t think like this anymore. These addicts were once a lovely son or daughter, some had bad upbringings, no parents, abused, some had good up bringings but got in the wrong crowd through pier pressure.
And turn to drugs as coping mechanisms. We’re just stuck in a rut, with the same routine day after day. That’s why we need to implement new hobbies to our routine to keep busy.
Sorry for going on lol I could go on all night haha. Good job I’m off work tomorrow. Plenty of decorating to do.
What was the 2500 debt for though? I have mates that sell it and they go on 3 day benders and have up to £800 of it. I couldn’t do that. But every one is different. My gf says why can’t you just say no to it. No matter how many times I explain I am not her and we are all different she still says this lol.
That’s probably the best way to do it, buy him things than give him the money.
Dopamine will effect his mental health, basically dopamine is our happy and negative thoughts in our brain it’s a chemical. In everyday life we release dopamine in our brain, just general happy feelings, even excitement having a biscuit in our brew. When we have coke, and for example a scale 1 to 10, 10 being really happy, cocaine goes through the roof and hits 100, and at this point it’s used all your dopamine in your brain, then it comes crashing down to minus 100, no happy thoughts, just depression, and suicidal thoughts in some people, this is a horrible feeling. It can take days from this to get your dopamine levels back to normal and negative thoughts gone. Cocaine causes really bad depression. It sends my head west the next day. Sorry for going on but it’s best off knowing than not.
If he’s using say 2 or 3 times aweek he’s going to have mental health or depression. Addicts do this though, chasing the high, always wanting more but it’s never the same as the 1st.
I listen to a lot of cocaine recovery stories and other drugs on you tube, ex addicts talking about what they did and how they over came it, and their stories are a lot worse.
Sometimes it gives you hope that if they can do it you can. I also read a few true stories ex addicts books. These are great as well. And they help me as well.
Do you think he will go back to his meetings?
I’m always here so you don’t need to worry about going on. I like sharing a bit what I have learned as well. It’s a bit weird since I’m not perfect. Practice what you preach lol. But I do my best
That’s exactly what it is, 1 big vicious cycle, same patterns, each week. I hate it what it does you.
What exactly support does he want? Have u asked him? Because if its money that really is not your problem if he’s not spending his own money wisely.
I’ll be honest it’s not good him living at home on his own, if he has a coke problem and trying to quit. For example.. If it was me and I had some I would be getting it till I couldn’t. I know people that are up for 3 days that are on it. Doing this would make u really lonely when it’s wearing off. I’m OK I have my gf and I give her my phone and car keys to limit my options in getting it.
Having cocaine effects your dopamine levels in your brain as well, do you know what this is? How how it works?
Regarding the texting at least you are trying. Can u speak to a friend to see if he’s OK.