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Don’t worry about rambling it helps me as well. That’s what this site is for. It’s hard to tell people about your kids being on drugs I imagine.
How old is he?
He does have a point, if he is young and he has to stay sober and clean and everyone else is out. Ive sat down myself numerous times telling myself no matter what I can’t have a drink again or go anywhere. I know that there is a lot more to than just doing these things, I guess it’s just getting use to it. Plus you have to cut everyone off who uses and drinks, it’s a nightmare. You always get tested as well.
You can be 2 month clean and bump into someone who sells it, and you see them somewhere we’re you have never seen them their before,and you get some off them. It’s everywhere cocaine now,
I can get some dropped off in 10 min.
So what is his situation now? Is he using everyday? Or how often and how much does he spend?
I know its hard for you but you have a life as well, just try and get some rest, I know it’s easier said than done, but it will make u ill as well.
Yes I’ve read your post but I couldn’t remember if I wrote anything, because I reply to a few, sorry I was not being ignorant lol.
I told my mum everything 1 morning when the coke was wearing off and I felt suicidal, and depressed, I know it’s heartbreaking for you it was for my mum. She was texting me everyday and helping me, and I stopped for 3 month. But now it’s back to every 2 week. She still thinks I’ve stopped and I can’t tell her it will break her.
He’s talking rubbish don’t let his nasty comments bother you, you wouldn’t be on this site if u didn’t care, there is only so much you can do.
What made him relapse?
I wouldn’t worry about it lads always come back running to their mums. Just send him a text everyday let him know you are there if he needs you.
Hiya deb, I’m struggling with a cocaine addiction, I’m 2 weeks clean today. You probably know this anyway, but alcohol is the main trigger to get coke, I can have drink then I’m texting dealers.
So your son shouldn’t drink at all. Not after putting all that effort in anyway. He’s done well. Do you think he got some coke then?
Another thing what I’ve learned is, when I have been clean for 2 or 3 month. I think it’s OK to have a drink. I’m cured now, what a big mistake. Cocaine is a sneaky drug, it’s like a devil and angel on each shoulder saying, get some, don’t get some.. Constantly. Your brain is that clever, it can stay silent for a few week, then put you into situations we’re you can get coke. As it’s craving coke.
I personally think you have to be clean for a good year before you think you can be alright.
If your son has lapsed. Tell him it’s not the end of the world, it’s just a little blip and get back on track. It’s part of recovery. He’s done well so far. But if he’s telling you he’s OK at 2 3 month clean and he’s having a drink. I’d put my foot down and say no, but that’s up 2 u. Good luck
You can buy your own drug testing kit, say I will only give it him if he passes the drugs test. I imagine you get them anywhere now. Try ebay
He has got a point, u would be surprised, I new a friend of a friend who sold heroin and one of his customers was a doctor! Crazy.
I totally get you and you want to help him and love him which is great. Do what you feel inside is right. But make sure he puts the effort in, because it will just make you ill in the long run.
Thanks for your comments I’ve still got a long way to go. It’s just all over the UK now. And so easy to get.
All I can suggest is think about yourself now and the kids, heroin is just one big slippery slope and you would Rob off your own gran for that stuff, sorry to be harsh but it’s true. It’s such an addictive drug and people will do anything to get it.
I’d just move on with your life, I know it’s hard when it’s some one you love, but if they are not going to put the effort in to quit, why should you
Hope your OK, how has he ended up on heroin in the last 2 year? And he’s 40 now. It just sounds like he has started late if that makes sense. Or he’s hid it longer from you.
I’ve got a cocaine problem and I am doing my best to stop. I’m 2 week clean 2day. Your husband has to want to stop for himself, you can’t force him. Robbing off the family isn’t good at all. Will he go in to rehab?
Say to him if he has not got a problem, he needs to go 1 week with out it. Tell him if he loves you just do this one thing for you, and prove you wrong.
Check all the house 1st for alcohol and remove it. Chances are he prob will fail. Or refuse to do it.
Addictions happen to the best of us, good dads, people who are financially stable and good job have addictions, if not worse as they can afford it and get more.
Plus coke when it’s wearing off sends you depressed for days, and can cause anxiety really bad. So this will just make it a lot worse for you. Just avoid anyone who uses
U can be addicted even if its monthly on payday, because you always fall back to it.
I had that same mentality, and didn’t believe addiction is a disease, but it is. Behind a lot of people’s addictions there is a story, abuse, bad upbringing, no parents, and they use to block it out I guess and it just gets worse and worse.
I think like that as well everything happens for a reason, this site has helped me out a lot, last year and beginning of this year I went months without coke, and it was down to support from certain people on here, it really does help just a bit of encouragement. But you have to put the effort in as well.
Thank you for that. I hope it all works out for you, good luck
Thanks, but I’m not perfect and got a long way to go. Tbh I know it’s a bad thing to say, but you are best off out of there until he gets help.
There is no point in keep beating yourself up about it, you have your own life as well and you will just make your self ill. Just suggest a few things to him to get help.
Going back to come though, it is literally everywhere now, every pub you go in, I can get it delivered within 10 min off about 4 different people and on tick as well, and when you are on it, you will get more and more on tick, knowing full well you won’t be able to pay it.
I recan its the worse drug in the UK at the minute.
It is good this forum it helps me as well.
Hiya hope your OK, I’m in the same situation as your bf, an addiction to cocaine, the minute you said he wanted to kill himself I new it was coke. When your on a come down from coke it sends you depressed and suicidal. This is one of the reasons I’m doing my best to quit it. I hate the stuff. It sends you suicidal because of the dopamine in your brain has been used up so quick because of the coke. You come crashing down when it’s finished and can take a few days to balance back to normal. I’m not gonna lie to you but a few people I know have killed them self while on coke. It just sends your head so messed up when it’s wearing off.
Firstly this addiction is not your fault one bit, so get that out of your head. We make our own decisions in life and should take responsibility for our own actions.
You say if you hadn’t realised sooner he wouldn’t of spent so much on it. You know what, he probably would of. He will never stop till he wants to admit he has a problem and he starts getting help. All you can do if you choose to is support him.
If he wants to quit this is what he needs to do, and what I do. It at least controls the addiction and helps to quit. 1st he needs delete all dealers nums and friends who use, even family who use. Come off all social media, u can message dealers on there. Change his num.
Try go to local drug place, he needs to change his life a round and implement new activities to keep him busy, gym, reading, walking, anything he likes really.
He needs to avoid triggers, say places he’s used, places he’s met dealers, pubs,. No alcohol at all as this makes you want coke so bad.
I listen to cocaine recovery stories on you tube as well they help me a lot. Meditation as well.
I tend to use Fridays, or once every few week on a Friday. So I give my gf my phone Fridays at 2pm and car keys and she locks it away in a safe. But sometimes I still manage get it. It’s about cutting ways out of how to get it.
I’d sit him down talk to him and see if he wants help and support him. That’s entirely up 2 u that though. Hope that helps. Message me if u need any advice
Trust me when he’s coming down off the coke he will be wishing he never had it and be having regrets about things, but some people just keep chasing it and want more and more because they don’t want to feel like this.
Have u got kids together did u say?
Personally I think if you have had enough and he’s not willing to change, it’s going to make you ill, so start thinking about yourself and move on with your life. You do deserve better.
Does his family know? Could you talk to them?
Yes I’d do, she goes mad, but the odd time she has had it with me and her mates. But most times she does say no.
I ask her for help. So I’ve literally just woke up now from my night shift, and I’ve had a dream I was having coke, when this happens I could lapse in a few days, so I have told her take my phone off me Friday at 2pm please and car keys and give it me back sat morn. Then do the same Saturday at 2pm till the next day. She locks it away in a safe. She won’t let me drink as well. I’m not a drinker anyway. But having alcohol makes u crave coke really bad.
If you want to quit like I do, I do this routine, give her my phone, keys, lock way in a safe.
Every night at work I listen to cocaine recovery stories, I read books by people who had addictions, I use various addiction apps, I go to the gym, read, try and do activities to keep me busy.
You could say well it’s not working lol if I’m using every couple of week. But it helps a great deal, and if I use, the next day I get back on track and keep doing what I was doing. I just have had enough of it and it sends my head west for days after it