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I just read your other post. I forgot that you had a new born baby. Weres he going after work to get hammered. Tell him he needs to be coming home to you and the baby to help you with the baby, because you have been watching the baby all day and need some rest. All this cant be good for you with having a baby. Ive got 3 kids so i should know lol.
Id sit him down when hes soba and have a word about it all. You cant keep putting up with this. And tell him what you want and if he doesnt change. Think about moving on. But its up to you that. I dont want to be putting ideas in your head.
Try and not to worry , u will make your self ill. Try and go out with a mate or something and relax.
Hey there.. i think its obvious why he drinks, with the bad things hes been through in his past. Maybe he needs some councilling for all whats happend. But i could be wrong.
But why dont you just mention the AA to him or docs about his drinking. And tell him you will be there for him and support him and that you are worried. There is alot of help out there.
You alright now danni? I guess he had that friday feeling and just wanted go go smashed. But thats no excuse.
Did he stay at home or go back out?
I guess you need to start to think about yourself really. . If hes not even trying to stop, do you really want to keep putting up with this and worrying. Have u got kids?
Ive just got a book delivered today called.. The L A diaries its about a guy called james brown who was an alcoholic and cocaine user. Hes famous now and clean. But has some great stories about his life and how he got clean. Ive read a few books like these and i guess there is always someone worse than us and they manage to get clean.
Well you can tell hes trying, but he needs cut his friends off really.. for now anyway..
Most of my mates wont give me any nums anymore because i tell them not to.
I understand as well because its been 15 years. My gf is the same. But she has had it with me a few times anyway. She gets my phone and car keys off me at 5pm fri and sat nights lol.
He prob is a real good dad and bf. But this stuff is like a slippery snake and effects people differently, and the come downs are awful. Just keep what you are doing if you are staying with him. But if hes not willing to change or gets worse, start thinking of your self
Ye course.. but its hard because its like a devil and angel on your shoulders.. and when that kicks in its mental relapse.. and then physical relapse.. which i guess you know what that is… there is a technique called the 3 Ds he could do.. delay.. distract.. do… when he gets cravings tell him to do this.. cravings with coke last 30 min.. so Delay for 30 min.. Distract it with.. excersise, long walk, paint read, meditate.. and then Do it… this helps.
When we emotional relaspse we are worked up inside and use using as an excuse. So he needs do some new hobbies. Ive took up learning to make really good paper aeroplanes with my little boy on you tube this last few days. This helps me. He needs to relax and not over think. And dont be afraid of trying new hobbies. He will feel so much better then next day when hes not had out
Hiya danni.. im same as your bf but with a coke problem. Im having it once a week. But im doing my very best to stop. Ive tried loads of things.
The reason he starts the arguments for nothing and then uses it as an excuse to drink or use is called.. emotional relapse.. this is what the brain does to us because its craving the alcohol or beer. So he needs to do things to prevent these situations. Or know what his brain is doing.
Alcohol is a main trigger for coke. The minute i have a beer, i want coke and thats most people who use coke.
But if you want him to stop having it , he has to want to quit it and admit he has a problem himself.
Have u mentioned this to him about getting help and fix things?
Yea.. meditation is really good, sounds sab but it work.. but have headphones in and search… mr theta binary beats on you tube.. these help with addiction and sleep.
Also.. i some times do a 1 month calender and put on each day differents task.. eg.. gym, walk, read abook, decorate, meditate, listen to podcast. And tick each day off when its done each day. This is good to have goals. And keeps you busy.
Reading helps aswell. He needs to tell him self each day.. just stay clean for today and dont plan too far ahead. Eat healthy as well.
Cant believe he still has you blocked. I think he will soon come to his sences. Just keep asking his sister. But try and go out with a mate or do something to keep you busy. You will make yourself ill.
I forgot say.. i ordered them the other day.. they are to get back your dopanine levels and receptors working again in your brain.. i ordered and all these help for this…Rhodiola rosea, N-Acetyl , L-cysterine, L-carnitine, L- tyrosine. Cost me about 20 quid all together. They help your mood as well and are good for the gym.
One of the hardest parts of this is that he has to cut his mates off, and with him being only 27, is hard i guess.
Does his mate sell it? U dont have to answer that. But thats a big problem. They just give it and run up a tab.
I dont get why he just dont go straight home after work, or even the gym.
He must be feeling shit all the time from the come
But your right its everywhere now. Every pub, every town, most work places.
Your doing good anyway, and you are right about the pressure and mithering him as he will just use this as an excuse.
Good luck anyway. Just ask if u need any help.
Kels right im afraid. Your flogging a dead horse if he is not admitting he has a problem and needs help. If you want a divorce. Id go for it. You need to think of yourself, he does!. It will just make you ill in the long run. Just get a good support around you
Ive never had it as much as that. But an addiction is an addiction at the end of the day .
How old is he?
Can i ask.. what is his routine to getting it every other day? Like… is he living with you? Is he just getting it at night after work? Or does he not work? Is he having it at work?.
Obv he might be lying about this but if he makes it clear you can come up with a plan.
Like mine is friday or sat. Soo i give my gf my phone and car keys and she locks it away. And sometimes it doesnt work, im not going to lie to you. But its about eliminating all the ways to getting it and thinking about it i guess.
Im doing my best its just hard. And i get embarrased for using it and how i am with it. So it feels awkward doing all these things near my gf. But its for the best i guess
He also needs to delete every ones number to do with coke.. dealers, friends even family. I came off all social media .. facebook.. insta.. snapchat. The lot! He can easily message dealers and mates.
No alcohol as this is a main trigger to get coke. He needs to keep him self busy. Especially coming up to when he knows he will use. Take up some new hobbies, gym.. reading.. decorate.. walk, run.. anything.
But he needs to keep him self really busy. Just ask if u need any advice