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Yes get in touch anytime. Regarding the C. A programme, we do the 12 steps. So.. Alot of addiction is from child hood trauma.. Some won’t believe this.. But there is a doctor on you tube called Dr gabor.. Who has studied this. He’s great to watch..
And on the step 4. We write down all our resentments from the past. It’s quite emotional and it can be anything. It can take weeks to do. Basically we need to get everything out. We share this with our sponsor what effect it had on us.. Basically it’s like having hot coal in your hand and if you keep hold of it/resentments. Its just gonna keep hurting you. We need to learn to let go.. And move on. So this helps with trauma. One step is we apologise in person who we harmed. This is hard but quite freeing. So this would be good for your partner with his past. Feel free to ask me any thin g or get in contact.
I tried councilling and it helped for 3 month. But the best thing to stay clean is C. A, any time you get cravings you ring your sponsor and sharing it and they talk you round. Sounds stupid but it works.or you ring other ex addicts.
But it might work with him. Alcohol is the biggest thing to trigger cocaine. The minute you have a drink you can be ringing your dealer. So if he drinks that will have to stop aswell.
Mine varys, it probably was every week at the beginning, have a few drinks at house party’s, then get some coke. But when the party’s stop, your addicted.. That’s what I learned from the councilling. And then you start using on your own.
So after I wanted to quit.. About 7 years ago.. I did my best not to use.. So was once a month.. Once every few week. But the triggers are always there and cravings. I guess if u want to stop and try your best it’s not as much. Don’t get me wrong I had it every weekend for a while. But the major effects of it or feeling suicidal, depressed for days. This is litrally within an hour of the coke wearing off. My friend hung himself on it in May. It causes Alot of suicides.
How do you mean joined him?
Feel free to ask me anything.
Hey there, I hope your OK. I’ve not been on here for a while. And I need to get back on.
So basically I’ve been struggling with cocaine for 12 year. For the last 7 roughly I just had enough and I have tried everything to stop. Hypnotist, self will, not drinking, taking up hobbies, cutting people off. I never ever used each day.. It was once every few week, once a month, sometimes once a week. I am still an addict tho.. You can use once a month and still be an addict. I never robbed and only paid for. What I can afford.
Anyway.. On boxing day last year I joined cocaine anonymous and I worked the 12 steps and got 4 month clean then I relapsed. My gf kicked me out of our family home. I lived in shared accom for 6 month. I got another 3 month clean then used, then 2 month. And I got a new 2 bed flat 2 month ago, and in the last month I had relapsed twice and now I have a new sponsor as I didn’t have one.
A lot of things got to me and I let the programme slip. But for your partner, he needs to want to quit for himself, or its pointless, he needs to quit alcohol for ever aswell, cut all mates off, dealers even family who use. He needs to implement good things in his life.
The cocaine anonymous programme works and working the 12 steps does aswell. I do meetings each day and connect with other ex addicts. It’s nothing to be ashamed off , there are doctors on the meetings, it effects everyone. I’m fully back into it now and its the best thing to stop.
Now going back to you, I think you need to do what’s best for you, me personally I’d move on with just you and your kids and you go be happy, your partner needs to work on himself. It’s just gonna be a vicious circle for you all. I hurt my kids when I left and it was a toxic relationship from us both.
My kids slept last night, I woke up clean and happy, I pray each day and meditate and this helps me. Your life will get better when u do what’s right for you and your kids.
Do what is right for your children.
My gf did the right decision kicking me out. But I want to stay clean. I just had a few blips the last few week.
I hope this helps. There’s so much I can say. That’s the best for now. Feel free to ask me anything.
Hey, good to hear from you, thank you for that, hope your doing well. Flats going great. Just started on the kids bedroom yesturday. Really enjoying decorating. Thank you
He defo needs a sponsor, I had to drop mine last week because he relapsed after 250 days, and you know what the 1st thing I thought was.. I could go in another town for a night out and just have a drink and not coke. You need a sponsor to ring each today, if you have any problems like using ect.. And it really does work.
He says his mates are his brothers but they won’t be there when he’s 70 year old and ill. It does my head in when people call each other bro.
I’ve literally cut all my mates off and I still struggle. But it’s about limiting every which way possible to get coke.
You have not thrown him to the lions at all don’t beat your self up.
My ex kicked me out in May, I had 2 kids ect.. I could of gone my mums instead in went in to a shared accom. In a room room, shared bathroom n kitchen. I hated it. I think I used 2 or 3 times while in it in 6 month. Which the old me. Would of been on it each weekend being single. I felt like I deserved to be there and it was for me to get my self out. I’ve just got a 2 bed flat now and I’ve done my front room and bedroom up and it’s nice. So this is my goal to do the rest up now.
I needed this wake up call and so does he. He will genuinely just carry on the same at yours.
And thanks for that x
Hiya nikki, I hope your OK,
I’m over a month clean now from coke and I’ve been using for 12 year. I used once every few week, or just weekends or sometimes once a month. Your still an addict BTW if you use once a month.
I’ve tried everything to quit, hypnosis, councilling, self help vids ect.. But after a bad relapse on boxing day I finally joined cocaine anonymous, I got a sponsor and worked the steps and I got my best clean time of 4 months, then 3 months, a few little blips and now I’m on just over a month.
My gf kicked me out in May, and now I’ve just got a new flat, I said summat nasty things off my head and I deserved it. I hate what it has done to me. I hate the stuff. It’s like a devil on your shoulder telling u that you will be OK.,, just one bag, have it quik then go home. Which you know is not the case.
For your ex to quit this is my opinion and most, he needs to admit he has a problem and want the help. Get to a CA meeting either in person or online on zoom and get a sponsor. And work the steps. People think it’s all about god and its not its any higher power we want. Mines mother nature and god, a bit like law of attraction.
I pray every morning and night. I meditate each day. You have to lead an honest life, things like no lying even little ones, no dropping litter, be kind, be nice and loving. If you do these things I can honestly say your life gets better and good things start coming your way.
Also in ca we take each others numbers and you ring people each day just to talk. It’s scary at 1st but I’ve made so many good friends.
Also the main thing is he needs a new way of life, this is a must, he can’t drink alcohol no matter what, this is a main trigger for coke and classed as a relapse weather he is an alcoholic or not, no other drugs if any kind. He needs cut every one off who uses! If his mum used cut her off! That’s how much it matters. Get a new phone number.
Avoid all triggers, pubs, bbqs, party’s, places of use, places were picked drugs up. But most of all he needs to want this for himself.
The biggest side effect of coke is the comedown when it’s wearing off, that’s why he was crying to you admitting everything he had run out and hit his rock bottom. This causes suicide and depression for days. I’ve known about 5 close people who have committed suicide from coke. It uses all your dopamine up in your brain and you hit a bit state of depression.
My suggestion is if he wants to stop, ask his mum can he go back if he goes to CA Each day on zoom or face to face meetings, and prove that he is working the programme and not go out ect.. Because at his mates he will get worse
Also this is not your fault 1 bit. We do it to ourselves, but what you learn in CA from the alcoholics annoymous book, is that certain people have allergys to coke and beer, we’re say you can have 1 drink and go home it effect other people different. Some doctors have said its from child hood trauma ect..
But you have done the right thing, he needs to do it for himself now, like me I’m on my own in my new 2 bed flat, and I’m scared ill use but if I keep working the programme I’ll be OK. You need to go out with friends and think of you. There’s no harm in checking on him ect. If he gives you abuse and blames you. I wouldn’t bother speaking to him. But thats up to. Ive got as much as I can in for now. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything
Think that’s sharples lol thanks for that. My front room is completed now..im sleeping on the sofa now. I’ve got a big u sofa. A new 65 inch TV and I’m in my element haha. Just have to be careful now and not over think too much. And keep myself busy. Have a good weekend,
Ahh I went to thornleigh school.
Ye I’m here now. Waiting for electrician to turn the electric on lol. But I’m still decorating, I have 2 week off work now, so just getting on with it. Every room needs doing. But it keeps me busy. Everything just seems to be falling in to place. So I cant afford to balls it up lol
Ahh I went to thornleigh school.
Ye I’m here now. Waiting for electrician to turn the electric on lol. But I’m still decorating, I have 2 week off work now, so just getting on with it. Every room needs doing. But it keeps me busy. Everything just seems to be falling in to place. So I cant afford to balls it up lol