[dave-mk1]

Too right its bloody hard! She says she hasn’t touched a drop since being at her mums. I know her step father wont put up with her being drunk. She tells me that I’ve driven her to it but she enjoyed a good drink when we first met.

I know she only craves the coke when she’s drunk so im hoping her being there may make her think twice.

I keep kidding myself that she might be ok if she came back but i know she would be dying to say “do you mind if i just have a couple of glasses of wine?” Then of course the flood gates open.

[dave-mk1]

Last week she went to a drug and alcohol group but refused to tell me what went on and just said it wasnt my problem! She took our son and had that few days away.

They came home to here from the break and she was expecting to move back in. Once the little one was in bed we spoke and i told her i just want to be part of the recovery process. It broke out into an arguement and today they’ve gone back to her mums. The look on his face when they walked out of the door was killing me. I dont understand why she wont open up about it! I wrote her a letter while they were away telling her how i feel. At least she couldn’t argue with a piece of paper. She rang me from her mums after reading it and said “thanks that was lovely” I told her again that i want to be part of it and keep me in the loop. She then went into one and about how nice her break was and im the one who makes her drink! Im lost now

[dave-mk1]

Hi.

When you say it does get better. Are we talking about her finally realizing that she needs help or she justs tells me to f off and she gets on with it?

[dave-mk1]

Hi. On another note. She still has a key to the house. Its a private rented property for which i pay for all the bills. Obviously she’s not going to give me the key back but can i change the locks to stop her from coming in and possibly finding stuff to steal and sell for her habit or vandalising things which she knows are precious to me?

[dave-mk1]

Hi.

Im so glad you’re here for me and I’m hoping one day I will be able to pass on my experiences and advice to others.

Im pretty certain that no matter how she tries to hide it her mum will eventually see for herself how she’s behaving.

We had a few days down the coast earmarked for next week but she’s now saying that she’s taking him on her own and needs the cash to pay for it on arrival.

I do not trust her one bit now, so im going to pay it over the phone so she doesn’t shove it up her nose and tries to blame me for the little man not going. If she doesn’t go then I’ll take him. Ive kidded myself so many times before that things will be better and buckled. Its actually quite liberating atm. It may seem like im playing games with her and i certainly don’t want him to suffer but im doing everything in my power to not give her any cash. Im sure she will flip but two can play that game.

As for custody I will get some legal advice on this one. I don’t want it to get to this point but she’s the only one who can help.

She had a doctors appointment yesterday about her ongoing heart problem and i asked her if she’d told the doctor about the coke to which despite me catching her completely denied she’d done it.

[dave-mk1]

Well i got home from work this evening and she’s taken our son and gone to her mums. Part of me craves for my son to be home. He’s on the autism scale too and likes structure so im sure he’s feeling pretty confused atm. The other part of me wants to stick to my guns as I’ve been at this stage twice before and she and her mum have pulled on my heart strings and I’ve buckled. Im telling myself that short term pain leads to long term gain. I can’t have my son seeing this month after month until he’s a teenager and completely messed up.

[dave-mk1]

Hi. Gonna have to be breif here because of work. Should i stop giving her money for the shopping?

Her mum knows about it but just tells her off and thinks it’s sorted now. She could go to her mums but refusing to leave

[dave-mk1]

Got to get off for work now. I’ll check in later. Thanks for the support

[dave-mk1]

Hi rev.

How many more chances can i give her! Last night i told her to leave, go and get clean then if she feels like making another go of it then all’s well and good. Its the lies which bother me more. If she’d open up and give me honest answers I’d want to help more but im just sick of it. Shes on tablets for a heart problem which i don’t know exactly what the problem is and bad kidneys too and im not going to see her killing herself in front of me. For the sake of her own health why can’t she see what’s happening? She’s only 41 too.

If i can get her to meetings then thats a start but shes not simply going to stop there and then. how can i live with her knowing that she’s still going to be doing this under our roof?

[dave-mk1]

Hi. Thanks for replying. She says she needs help when she’s drunk but sobers up and says”oh I was just having a bad day” im not sure of the extent of the coke addiction. This could of been going on longer than I’ve known.

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