[debc]

Hi Idait000,

Welcome to the forum, a great place to come and share your story and get really useful advice, lots of people in the same situation.

My Son is an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is in Recovery at the moment, long may it last, but have had to live through 10 years of hell with it.

Cocaine is an evil drug and doesn’t come alone, the lies, gambling etc etc, it completely changes them, but I’m afraid it is them and only them that can may the decision to stop.

I wish you luck in what you choose to do, most importantly look after yourself, keep in touch with people on here, it’s great to share our problems. Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Hayleealice,

Sorry to hear your story, it must be very difficult for you, being on the Forum is a great place to start.

From my own experience with my Son (cocaine and alcohol), when he went into Rehab, they were not allowed their phones for the first week, then after that they were only allowed for about 3 hours at night, obviously different places have different things in place. It is usually for 28 days and they usually start doing the 12 steps of recovery while they are in the rehab.

Do you have any idea where he is or anything about the place where he is?

All I can say about addiction is that it is hell, sorry but I have to be truthful, they lie, which is what I found the hardest.

My Son tells me that you have to become selfish when you are in Recovery, so that you look after yourself, perhaps that is why you have not heard from him so often.

I have put up with it for 10 years, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, which is very hard when you love someone and especially now you are pregnant, must be very hard for you.

Keep chatting on here, there are some really nice people with excellent advice.

Look after yourself and take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi ahlags429,

This is a good place to start with finding help and talking to people who are in the same situation.

My Son is an addict (cocaine and alcohol), he is in Recovery, but having had 10 plus years of this, they are the only ones that can help themselves and only when they are ready.

He had been in Rehab twice, does zoom meetings every day for CA and AA, and has a sponsor to help him work through the 12 step recovery program.

This Forum is great for help and sharing our stories with each other, it has certainly helped me.

The trust is a huge thing, especially in a relationship, because they do lie, I sometimes wonder if they even know they are doing it.

There are lots of stories on here in the same situation as yourself, I don’t know whether you have read them.

The Icarus Trust is another place that is very helpful.

I wish you well, take care and keep in touch.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Tinker,

This is a great forum to get help and read other people’s stories in the same situation.

Like Lindyloo I also have an addict Son who is in Recovery.

Your partner really does need help, but that can only come from him.

There is the Icarus Trust that helps people as well.

Look after you and your children first, keep in touch with the people on this forum, they are really helpful and always helps to share your story.

Take care

Dx

[debc]

Hi Cathsp,

Sorry to hear this, I don’t know what DHC is.

How does he contact the people to get the drugs? And do they deliver them to your house?

It’s so sad when they know they can do it, but choose to keep going back, I realise this is the addiction. If he won’t join groups then I really don’t know what else to suggest. Hopefully other people on this site might have some other ideas.

Keep in touch

Dx

[debc]

Hi pineapple123,

I think you are just a normal person, doing what you enjoy, don’t feel pressured into doing cocaine, it’s a very addictive drug and from personal experience (my son is an addict in recovery), it ruins lives, not only yours but the people around you too.

Have a look at some of the stories on here, it devastates people’s lives.

Take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Cathsp,

Your Son has done really well keeping clean.

The only thing I can suggest is to try and get your son some form of technology so he can join Zoom meetings on line, where he can talk to people who are going through the same thing and this would enable him to get a Sponsor and work through the 12 steps of Recovery.

There are lots of people on here with far more experience than I, so hopefully some other people might have some more suggestions.

I believe there is meetings for families of addicts too, you might find these useful.

Hope this helps, take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

Great news, I am so pleased for you, and for your Son, long may it continue.

All good here, fingers crossed, day by day.

Take care

Dx

[debc]

Hi Fitz1991,

Welcome to the forum. There is loads of people on here all in the same situation, and great to chat to.

My Son is in Recovery, he lives at home with me. He says that when you are in recovery you become selfish and they need to be able to focus on themselves, especially in the early stages of recovery, perhaps this is why you feel he is pulling away from you at the moment.

Just give him time and just let him know you are there for him if he needs you.

I hope this helps just a little bit, there are other people who are far more experienced than I am, but joining this forum has really helped me.

Take care

Dx

[debc]

Hi Pineapple123, welcome to this really helpful and friendly forum.

I only joined a few weeks ago, it’s so good to be able to talk to people that are in the same situation.

My Son is an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he has been to Rehab twice, and at the moment is doing really well, he has got himself a Sponsor, working the 12 step program for recovery, he does meetings every day through zoom.

For us the people that have to live with it, and have done for 10 years plus, it is hell.

Like you say it is a viscous circle, but only they can change it, if they want too.

There are so many people on here that have far more experience then me with dealing with an addict, but if you read through some of the other stories it gives you an insight into other people’s lives, and how they cope with living or being with an addict.

Take care

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

So many people in the same situation, but so nice to be able to share our problems.

Good news about the ex, I don’t think they can handle other people’s problems as well as their own.

I know he is asking for money but at least he is reaching out to you and knows he can rely on you, and like you I’m hoping that one day we will get back some of what we have given out.

Hoping he keeps up with the meetings and taking each day as it comes.

My Son has returned back to work now, just taking it slowly.

Always here to chat, take care.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

Good to hear from you, glad that you could get away for a weekend with your husband, would of done you both good.

Fingers crossed, things are going well, he’s working his steps with his Sponsor, going to local face to face meetings, long may it continue.

Good that your Son has started meetings again, my Son likes them and say they help.

So many very sad stories on here, it really makes you think about things, so glad I joined this group.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

Hope your ok.

How are things?

Dx

[debc]

Hi Lindyloo,

It’s so difficult being a parent to an addict, it’s a great big learning curve, with lots of ups and downs on the way.

Deleting all the dealers off his phone is a must, but whether they do it is another thing, there is so many of them about, complete scumbags.

His ex sounds delightful, and being with her is not going to help your son at all, but if I was you I just wouldn’t mention her in your conversations with him.

Take care and stay strong.

Dx

[debc]

Hi Trev90,

My son didn’t really admit he had a problem until his counsellor in Rehab told him. I think a lot of the time they are in denial, and the longer it goes on, they suffer with varying mental problems, which in turn affects everyone around them.

Dx

[Author]

Posts